Thursday, July 24, 2003

So, did I ever tell you how I started the dialysys thing?

Alot of folks ask me how is it? is it painful? do they take alot of blood from you? Is it your blood? Are you a raging monster afterward?

I got the news on june 7th, just days before my 37th birthday. I had known for about a year that it was coming. I had already been been fitted for the process in 2002 when my doctor had told me it was long in coming, so I should be prepared. They would monitor me to see how my kidney function was going and if it got worse, I was going in. So, I had a year to go thru the worry of it, just wondering like you how it would be. By the time I was told that it would now begin, I was ready to do it, emtionally.

I told my friends what was going on. I wouldn't

be around as much for a while, and if I was, I couldn't stay do to rest. Lots of folks were concerned and asking questions. I assured them that I would be fine. I would be a differnt person by the time it was all over, so I hope they would understand. One person, in particular, Holly Armbruster, told me she wanted to to be there to make sure that I would be ok.

I had met Holly at O'Connell's Irish Pub, which is right across from the Mercury Lounge. I don't visit other bars and was hesitant about going there, but I was invited to do a few songs with one of the bands playing that night. Holly worked there with her husband, Thomas as bartenders, and both did very good jobs, weather separate or together. Since then, we had become good friends and O'Connell's became the only other bar I would go to.

I didn't want Holly to go with me. I didn't want anyone to go. I didn't want anyone to sit there for four hours going thru having to wait on me do this. But, she told me that's what friends do for each other for support. I tried to talk her out of it, but she had made her mind up, and you couldn't argue.

That first day, she was there and I was a nervous ball, bouncing off the wall. She held my hand and though I didn't show it, my inner peace was releaved that someone was there for me. I didn't know how I would have gotten thru this.

I was hooked up while she sat outside. The needles were painful as they were inserted in my arm. After a while, I became lightheaded and wanted to pass out, but I wanted to see how it was done. Soon, Holly came in to see how I was doing. She sat there and talked to me while it was going on, even though I may have been slightly incoherernt. I talked to her for the whole time and I felt better as the time went on.

When it was done, I was unhooked and She and I went to our cars to go our seperate ways. She hugged me tight and told me " I did this because I am your friend and I love you. I didn't want you to be scared. I had just hoped that you would go thru the first one without a problem". I didn't. Since then, I now go with a smile on my face, knowing that I'm one step closer to perfect health.

I have thanked Holly on a personal level, but never on a public one. What a oerfect venue better than this to do it. Holly, I want to thank you for being there for me. I know I can be cocky about things. I can be stubborn and sarcastic, but that's just me. I foyu hadn't have gone with me, I don't know how I would have done it. I'm blessed that you did. You are an amzing woman and Thomas is a very lucky man to have you as his wife. I hope one day to blessed with someone like you as a partner. You were there for me on what could be the most important day of my life, at that point, so I will forever be in your debt. When this is all over, I owe you a big hug. I love you, darlin'. And I love all my friends.

And that's how I go thru it.


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