Tuesday, January 18, 2005

In Da Newz

I'm Sam Johnson and here's some stuff I found online...

A sixty-six year old Romanian woman gave birth to a bouncing baby girl on Sunday.The mother was artificially inseminated with sperm by an anonymous donor who didn't want to know he was doing it with an old lady.

I'm sorry. It's bad finding out your Uncle Bert is making it now with Viagra, but now Great-aunt Tilly has given birth tom your new, what? Cousin? Aunt? It's all too freaky. Maybe we should talk to Letterman about this.

A Las Vegas weatherman was fired over the weekend after making racial slurs towards Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. during his forcast.

This is true: The guy had only been there for three months, but they should have seen it coming. "I tell ya, there's gonna be more moisture here in Vegas than a bunch of sweaty Italians fighting a lotta Mexicans over who gets that used Cadillac."

The Mayor of Prauge, Czech Republic is upset, when disguising himself as a tourist and hailing a taxi in his town, was charged thirty-four dollars by the cabbie for a two mile trip.

The Mayor was also upset for being charged three hundred dollars for a "happy ending" at the local massage parlor he was dropped off at.

A naked man was arrested after breaking in a school full of student and demanding them to hear his demo tape.

Justin Guarini was held until released in to Ryan Seacrest's custody. Clay Aiken had no comment.

Back to Romania again, a couple has named their new infant son Yahoo after meeting over the internet.

The parents are happy Yahoo will join his brother, Smoking Gun and sister, Jenna Jamison Online.

That's it for Da Newz. I'm Sam Johnson. You stay classy, San Diego.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I wondered what Justin Guarini had been up to lately.