Saturday, January 01, 2005

The Single Guy's Recipe For Making Oatmeal Cookies

Recipe courtesy Paula Deen of Paula's Home Cooking

1/2 cup (1 stick) butter, softened; 1/2 cup vegetable shortening; 1 1/2 cups packed light brown sugar; 2 eggs 1/2 cup buttermilk; 1 3/4 cups all-purpose flour; 1 teaspoon baking soda; 1/2 teaspoon salt; 1 teaspoon baking powder; 1 teaspoon ground ginger; 1 teaspoon freshly ground nutmeg; 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon; 1/4 teaspoon ground cloves; 1/2 teaspoon ground allspice; 2 1/2 cups quick-cooking oatmeal; 1 cup raisins; 1 1/2 cups chopped walnuts; 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract.

First, get a craving for oatmeal cookies. Tell yourself you can make these, then go online for recipe. Go to store and buy items and other stuff you don't need, like Doritos and root beer. Lug stuff up a flight of stairs and drop them on kitchen counter. Drop self on couch and turn on television to watch "Power Rangers". Then, fall asleep. Wake up two hours later and walk in kitchen. Say to yourself you can make these cookies. Stare at ingredients. Call up a woman. Tell her your making cookies and ask her if she wants to come over and help. Listen to excuse. Tell her they're OATMEAL COOKIES. Listen to her hang up. Grab Doritos and root beer, go back to couch and turn on "Napoleon Dynamite" DVD. Maybe make cookies one day. Yum.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I can almost taste them. You should be very proud.