Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Kids Be Trippin'

My brother Martin has three kids and one on the way from his wife, Kim. I have no idea how he does it. Mind you we come from a big family and all. It's just amazing to see the guy you tormented when you were younger now responsible of children and not wanting to take out that repressed anger on them.

I overheard this while on the phone with him earlier, speaking to his son Darien...

Martin: What did I tell you about you trying to have the last word?

Darien: I'm just trying to tell you, Daddy...

Martin: Boy, you know that Play Station you got?

Darien: I don't have a Play Station.

Martin: You ever want to be around to get one?

I don't have kids. I do want one one day. When I do have one, I will be using that line.

My mom, rest her soul, was a master of the scary look. Me and Martin would shake in our Traxx sneakers if she ever shot us one. I'm telling you, the woman must have trained at Harvard on how to keep us in line. I think she might have gotten a B.A. from it. B.A. meaning "Beating Ass".

My favorite lines my mom always used was, "Keep it up and I will beat the Black off of you, child", and "I'll take you out and make another that looks just like you". Sara was not a woman to play with. To think that woman could hit you hard enough to take away your whole racial setup and leave you completly albino so no one would recognize you was scary. The fact that she could actually produce a clone of you, without the use of science was scarier.

I envy parents right now. I really do. Kids are a wonderful thing. They bring joy to the world and smiles to the grumpiest of faces. It's how you raise the little rugrats that's the important thing. I think Martin's doing a good job with his and I hope I'm as lucky one day with mine. I just hope they aren't smart asses like their old man. Otherwise, I have a sad feeling we'll be shooting wisecracks at each other all night until I yell out "Yo mama gotta wooden leg with a kickstand on it", and then it's on.

No comments: