Wednesday, August 23, 2006

The Johnson Report

Dear Stephen Colbert,

I understand that you are looking for a Black friend. Well sir, let me throw my hat in the ring for your cameraderie. The way I see it, we can both benefit from all of this. You will be able to use my racial standing in arguments on why you were out late ( "But dear, I was out with my Black friend. You know how they like to hang out") and gaining a possible Ghetto Pass, while I will use you as a credit reference and a possible crack at Jessica Biel. With your white money and my Black smoothness, we can take the world by storm like Ben Vereen and Jeff Goldblum in "Tenspeed and Brownshoe". Drop me a line and let's hook up at a Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles to work out the details.

Your new Black Friend (until you say something stupid),

Sam Johnson

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