Thursday, March 30, 2006
"Bill Brasky is the father of every kid in this town!"
"His poop is used as currency in Argentina."
"He did all the makeup on the Planet Of The Apes movie."
"He once inhaled a seagull."
"He drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls."
"Did I ever tell you about the time Brasky went hunting? Brasky decides he's going to hunt down all four of the Banana Splits. He stalks and kills every one of them with a machete. They all begged for their lives... except Fleagle."
"Did I ever tell you about the time he taught his son how to drive? He did it by entering him in the Indy 500. The kid wrecked and died. Brasky said it would've happened sometime."
"Did I ever tell you about the time Brasky took me out to go get a drink with him? We go off looking for a bar and we can't find one. Finally Brasky takes me to a vacant lot and says, 'Here we are.' We sat there for a year and a half — and sure enough, someone constructs a bar around us. The day they opened we ordered a shot, drank it, and then burned the place to the ground. Brasky yelled over the roar of the flames, 'Always leave things the way you found 'em!'"
"He once punched a hole in a cow just to see who was coming up the road."
TO BILL BRASKY! HE WAS A SONUVABITCH!
I just put that up here to cheer myself up. I hope I put a smile on your face, too. Remember, when life gets you down, be
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
"BALLS OF FURY".
Say that with me, now...
"BALLS OF FURY".
So, since the other guys have Sam Jackson punching pythons, who does "BoF" have to sling spheres around?He plays "Fang" in the film. I can't wait. Lordy...I think my head will explode now. Remember, I waasn't the first to talk about it, but just remember, but I got the jump on all the talk before the other guys. And, I'm not getting paid one dime.
Monday, March 27, 2006
Next week, I'm going in the studio to tape the very first Sam-a-rama podcast along with good friend Sam Diamond ( I thought the "Sam-a-rama" name would be perfect for it). It'll be a pilot show, as we'll be figuring out what works and what doesn't by, hopefully, the next show. But I can say it will be comedy-talk. Plus, I think I want to take letters from folks. So, here's what you do. Send me an email. Ask anything and we'll try and answer it the best we can. Your letter could be heard on the very first podcast. Just drop a line to Samjohnson@gmail.com before April 3rd. The podcast will be up and online the week after. So, send those letters in, kids!
Sunday, March 26, 2006
Oh, and before I go...I know I must have mentioned this waaaay back, but Billy Ingram at TV Party has a wonderful piece on the history of Amos and Andy. Now, why do I mention this again when I may have talked abou it before? Becuase it's an interesting story and A&A was a wonderful show that's no worse that what UPN runs these days. It's also interesting to note that there's now an off Broadway play that celebrates the radio and television show. I hope that one day we can get the stigma off and enjoy it for what it was. A very funny show.
Thursday, March 23, 2006
When I say "a while ago" by the way, I means that I haven't heard any crap in the past couple of weeks, so it's all clear.
As for the redneck, backwoods assmunch...This is a warning. This town is 55% black in a city of over 150, 000. I don't even want to get into how many Hispanics are here now, but I know that a lot of them live on the Southside of town. But, if were you, I'd split. Real quick, homey.
So, did you see the season premier of "South Park" on Wednesday night? I didn't, 'cause I don't have cable. But, I do have broadband and I found it on You Tube. I'm tellin' you, they are gonna crack down on that site really soon, so if you're looking for, say, any thing by E.L.O., you b etter get there now before somebody starts screaming "copywrite!" But, I digress...
I thought the episode was possibly the best that Matt Parker and Trey Stone was the best they've ever done in the ten years of the show. Even using the new Hollywood trick of using old voice tracks of Isaac Hayes from previous shows to still have Chef for one more show, edits and all. Of course, the kids realize that Chef sounds a little different and that all due to The Super Adventure Club. That fruity little club scrambled the man's brain, it seems.
I won't go into further details about the show. I'll let you watch it. But, I will say that Chef dies, and it ain't pretty. But, I will share with you the eulogy, which was quite touching and showed that no matter what, the boys still loved Chef. We all will, no matter what. "Some of us feel hurt and confused that he seemed to turn his back on us," says Kyle. "But we can't let the events of the last week take away our memories of how much Chef made us smile. ...
Goodbye, Jerome Macelroy. Thanks for all the good lovin', salsbery steak and buttered noodles.
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Let me tell you there is nothing better than having a shaved head, especially this time of year. The breeze just goes over your head like a Corvette in a wind tunnel and let me tell you, that is a good feeling. Just a tip though for those who really want that Bruce Willis look. If you are gonna do it, make sure that you use a good razor (Gillette's Mach Three Turbo is my blade of choice. I haven't gotten to their Fusion blades yet, as I'm not certain I'm ready for five blades) aand a good shave gel. I like a good menthol gel as the cooling effect gives you the tingles and is almost as good as a slow back rub from Eva Longoria, or better, as I've never been rubbed by Ms. Longoria, dammit. Trust me on this, however. After that wind hits your head after a menthol skull shave, you will never look at life the same. I promise you this.I don't recomend most to do this, especially the women, unless they are really brave. Also, folks who have mishapen heads. There are some of you, and you know who you are that have heads of eggs. That's right. I have seen men who have bald heads who look like they have just stepped out of the Kroger dairy and produce section. I know that you may be proud of your dome, but let's face it. You look like Vincent Price on "Batman". Me, I'm proud of my perfectly symetrical head. Dang proud. If I were a super villan, I would be Skeletor. No...I would be a Luthor.
Love me, love my slick, smooth, bald head.
Monday, March 20, 2006
Here's a short film done by Matt Parker and Trey Stone before "South Park" hit it big. It was commissioned for Universal Studios when they were purchased by Seagram's Liquor. It has the feel of a fifties school film for hygene, but it's ripe with pointed laughs at the studio, with Steven Spielberg, Micheal J. Fox, Demi Moore, Sylvester Stallone and others along for the ride. It also has lots of cussin' and wine coolers in it, so carefull around the kids.
Saturday, March 18, 2006
SNAKES ON A PLANE. So simple, yet it says alot about the movie.
Well, finally we get to see some clips from the film, which could be huge. I can't wait to see Mace Shaft put a beatdown on a python. Maybe a Black Mamba. Why? Because there are snakes on a plane.
I can't wait to see "Monkeys On A Bus".
And once again, the above photo is not me.
Friday, March 17, 2006
It looks as though the battle between The "South Park" guys and the Scientologists is far from over. Wedesday night, Coomedy Central was to run the episode that made Isaac Hayes quit (which you can see here), but instead ran the "Chef's Salty Covered Balls" instead, saying it was a tribute to all the years Hayes gave to the show. Of course, according to Zapt2It, "That hasn't stopped rumors from flying that (Tom) Cruise, who takes a satirical beating in the episode, had something to do with its disappearance.
Matt Parker and Trey Stone, the show's creators just released a statement to press just hours ago that read, and I quote and this is for real here...
"So, Scientology, you may have won THIS battle, but the million-year war for earth has just begun! Temporarily anozinizing our episode will NOT stop us from keeping Thetans forever trapped in your pitiful man-bodies. Curses and drat! You have obstructed us for now, but your feeble bid to save humanity will fail! Hail Xenu!!! [Signed,] Trey Parker and Matt Stone, servants of the dark lord Xenu."
Oh, yeah...the first new "South Park" of 2006 should be a good one next Wednesday. I see a good fight comin' y'all.
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Who's tha man that won't be back for "South Park" this season?
I've watched the show since it started and when I found out that Hayes was the voice of Chef, I was hooked even more. I even bought the Chef Aid cd, which I know put alot of money in his pocket, even with all the controversy. So, to to find out that he's leaving due to the fact that the show makes fun of religion tells me one thing.
That man is a hypocrite.
I grew up listening to his stuff when I was a kid and still do. I remember my older sisters having his fold out cover for the "Black Moses" album on the wall in our living room. Issac was all decked out in gold chains and a robe for that cover in the seventies. So, when I saw him on the cartoon surrounded with all these jokes about Christianity, Juedeism and other relgions, I thought that at least the man can take a joke. But talk about Scientology, which is Hayes' belief, and the man get's upset. Even though the show was done months back, he up and quits now. It kinda makes it look like Comedy Central doesn't like Black people with Chappell leaving, but not this time. I mean, the man called himself "Black Moses". You'd think he could take a religious joke once in a while.
What makes it so bad for Isaac is the act that he raked in all this money from the show and now wants to condemn it. I don't want to put down any form of religion, but it feels like a powerful member of the church could have said, "You know those boys are making fun of us. It's time you left the show". Of course, Matt Stone, co-creator countered back as soon as Hayes publicly announced his departure saying,"In 10 years and over 150 episodes of 'South Park,' Isaac never had a problem with the show making fun of Christians, Muslims, Mormons and Jews. He got a sudden case of religious sensitivity when it was his religion featured on the show."
Anyway, here's the episode that made Hayes take the money and run. It doesn't convey the opinoin of myself or anyone else who posts here, so decide for yourself afterwardsd what you think of Scientology. As for "South Park", next week they return for their tenth season. I have a feeling that you'll hear about how Chef no longer feeds the kids at the school anymore and has moved on to other pastures.
Stay out of my way.
I'm kinda lucky this year. I'll be on the air that day while the parade is going on that morning, so I'll be far away from all the craziness, thank goodness. I should be very happy that we have such a celebration here in our little town, but now that I'm getting older, I've become jaded at the whole thing. Add to the fact that Katrina hit New Orleans and there was a small presence this year for Mardi Gras because of the hurricane, it could be a huge party this year. After all, Savannah's St. Pat's is the second biggest in the country, next to New York. Hotles are booked to capacity as far as I know. I really feel for my pal Ivan , who works for one of the local inn chains in town. It's not located in downtown Savannah where the parade is held, but I know he's got loads of folks settled in for the weekend and possibly has to deal with more craziness than aany other time this year.
As for my plans, I'll do the radio thing all weekend and go check out "V For Vendetta" for a lark. Oh, and wear my Green Lantern t-shirt. Maybe get a shepard's pie and watch the parade repeats on tv. That's about as much Irish I'll get for this holiday. I ain't fightin' that crowd this year.
Monday, March 13, 2006
The band is now making a comeback, but not the way you'd think. Disney Records now has Devo 2.0, a prefab group with kids doing the songs, with the approval of the orginal members. The scary thing is they don't sound too bad, even though they look cute and clean cut. It ironic that the subversion the lyrics talked about years ago would now be voiced by the youth of today. Which means to me that the Revolution will now be heard on Nickleodeon and spread like wildfire. I can't wait to see The Lil' Sex Pistols one day.
Me, I'll take the grown up version any day. Here's one of my favorite Devo 1.o tunes, "Beautiful World". It kinda sums of my feelings for the new kids. "It's a beautiful world for you...not me."
Sunday, March 12, 2006
I've had to do a few things, so postings have been light. But what else is new around here? Plus, I don't want to post stuff that everyone else has on their site. I'm sorry...I thought that the Live action Simpsons thing was great the fisrt time I saw it, but soon everyone and thier mom had it up on their site right afterwards. If I can't get it on here the day it comes out, then I'm not gonna worry about it. And, if you've seen it already on X's page and see it again here, it kinda makes the whole thing redundant in the long run. We here at Sam-a-rama, L.L.C. do our best to mkae sure you get fresh content. It may take a while, but it's always of the finest quality, A-1 and pure.
With that being said, coming up this week to the site we have my good friend Philip Schweier from the Comic Book Bin with a piece on how we met one of comic books greatest men and did not geek out. Also coming up, we'll talk about Devo, "manorexia", and of course, St. Patrick's Day here in Savannah. Plus all the ususal stuff that winds up here. No phone calls please, as the show is pre-recorded. But do leave your comments to the chef. Thanks!
Thursday, March 09, 2006
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
I was talking with Karen about her fasination with all things Star Wars, alhtough she says it's for her son Ethan. I know the deal. So, I told her about the Star Wars Holiday Special from 1978 which sahe had never heard of or seen. Until now, thanks to You Tube. Here's the synopsis I got from the page...
Plot Outline: Chewie and Han Solo are trying to get home to Chewie's family, so they can celebrate Lifeday, a holiday that is celebrated on Chewbacca's home planet Kashyyyk. Chewie and Han Solo are trying to get to the planet where Chewie's family is waiting for him, but the empire is out searching for the rebels, giving everyone a hard time. While we are waiting we get a look at the everyday life of a wookie family. We meet all the familiar characters from Star Wars and we are introduced to Bobba Fett during a small cartoon. We also pay a visit to the Cantina and meet all the monsters again.
Obviously, this guy was a biig an of this. And, was very drunk when he wrote this, cause it needs a warning: "This thing stinks like Bantha breath".
I warn you now...This makes "Phantom Menace" look like "Crash". It is that cheesy. Which makes it that good, in my opinion. This is the full special, which Harvey Korman in drag, Carrie Fisher stoned, Jefferson Starship doing bad seventies rock, a commercial for action figures and Bea Arthur. If you love bad tv and "Star Wars", this is for you. And for Karen.
What I would do to watch this on the Satellite Of Love.
Monday, March 06, 2006
I brought up on the air today Three 6 Mafia's win and everyone who called in was surprized, as they didn't even watch the show. Viewership was down 10% from last year, so that explains that. So, to get one final reaction, I contacted our man in Hollywood, Mark Evanier via email..
Sunday, March 05, 2006
I do have to give it up to Stewart. He looked like just there to do the show and go back to New York. He didin't looked bored, but he was there to move the show along, as he did with the Grammys before. Nothing special, but very important at the same time. He had some great one liners (“Bjork couldn’t be here tonight, she was trying on her Oscar dress and was shot by Dick Cheney.” ), but nothing to displease anyone. Here's hoping he gets to come back and host again soon.
As for the winners...It's hard to believe "Brokeback Mountain" got their back broken by "Crash" for Best Picture. With all the hype of the film and Ang Lee winning for best director, you would havbe thought that it would have walked away with the big one. However, Paul Haggis walked away with the win, so congrats to him and his crew. I still haven't seen any of the movies nominated, but perhaps now I will.
One more thing about Three 6 Mafia. Now, for those not in the now, they're from Atlanta which is growing more and more for its brand of rap music, which is called "crunk". Now, after watching the choreography during their perfomance, Gil Cates probably killed ATL hip hop for everybody now, as it sucked. Plus, since I just found out that I'll be on the air for E-93 tomorrow afternoon, somebody will be calling me wanting to hear "Hard Out Here For a Pimp", just to get the moves down they saw on the show, ruining rap for everyone. I just know it.
To paraphrase Jon Stewart, it's not so hard out here for a pimp anymore after this.
Okay, I'm gonna get the jump on this before everyone else does. Although this just ran last Satuday night on SNL, it's already hit the web ala "Lazy Sunday", thanks to You Tube. Just the site of seeing Natalie Portman doing hardcore rap is funny. However, her flow's pretty good. And honestly, she may the first white woman in hip hop with game. Go, Padme! Go Padme, Go!
I just wanted to thank everyone for their letters and cards. It's good to know you have folks out there who care enough about you, no matter what. So, hope you enjoy the Oscars tonight. I'll watch as well and try to have some kind of opinion about it on Monday. I'll talk to you then.
Friday, March 03, 2006
Dick Cheney for Best Guest Shot
Anna Nicole Smith for Best Interpretation of being as dumb as a rock
G.W. Bush For Best Alfred E. Newman Impression
Bodie Miller for Best Reason Why Not To Bet On The Winter Olympics
and Barry Bonds for Best Actress. Enjoy the show!
Thursday, March 02, 2006
I also have to thank Randy for something very special as well...
Now I have something to take my mind off of the pain. This photo, to me, is the equal of Bonds hitting one out of the park. On Balco, of course. I wish I had both arms working now, as a picture says a thousand words, and I got a million of 'em now.