Saturday, December 30, 2006
The Sammy for Best Song That Got Played To Death, But Still Sounds Good Everytime You Hear It: "Crazy" by Gnarles Barkley. I found out about this song in February and knew that it would take a while for everyone to catch up to it. When it did, it became a monster hit. I'm glad for that and glad for Cee-lo and Danger Mouse.
The Sammy for Catch Phrase That's Now As Dead As Techno: "I'm Bringn' Sexy Back". I'll admit, I was part of the goofs that used it when the song was a hit. Justin has moved on, so should you if you're still using it. Speaking of Justin...
The Sammy For Funniest Moment I Had While Trying To Sleep On A Saturday Night: "**** In A Box". Saturday Night Live has it's best moments these days whenever they pull out one of their Digital Shorts, but when Timberlake hosted a few weeks ago, the show pulled off a great feat: The whole show was actually great from top to bottom, with the now classic short as the topping on the cake. I'll link to the censored version of the song, since the uncensored version is all over the place.
The Sammy For Favorite TV Show To Not To Call Me For ANYTHING Award (THREE WAY TIE): "Heroes" is a show that I have watched from the beginning and have been hooked for its style and the way super powers would be treated in the real world, while "Smallville" comes back after last year's slump and not only brings up Green Arrow, but the upcoming formation of the Justice League of America in January. The fanboy in me can't wait. As for funny, I gotta give it to "30 Rock". Tina Fey is a great straightman for all the craziness of the show and finally, we get to see Alec Baldwin become the comic genius he was destined to be.
The Sammy One Way Ticket To Hell Grant: Mel Gibson, Michael Richards, K-Fed and the person who told Britney to go commando.
The Sammy Award For Overkill: YOU winning the award for Person of The Year from Time Magazine. Shame on all of you for even accepting such a crappy awards and you know who you are. First, there wasn't any montages, Halle Berry wasn't there to present you and you couldn't even see yourself on the freakin' cover. You should all be ashamed of your greed.
The Sara Elizabeth Jackson Honorary Award to Those Gone and Not Forgotten: We lost some great folks this year. Don Knotts, Robert Altman, Joe Barbera, Ruth Brown, Shelly Winters and James Brown are just some of them. They will all be missed.
The Sammy Award For The REAL Person of The Year: YOU. After all, you keep coming back here to see what I'm scribling this time. Thanks for that and I'll see you in 2007. Cheers.
Friday, December 29, 2006
"How old is saddam? He must be getting on. We are all born to die, so executing someone really isn't a punishment now is it, cutting someone life a little shorter is not a punishment..that is why I say there are far worse things than death, coz once you are dead, it's all over...quick and painless...people like Saddam deserve worse than death. "
All I have to say it to that is SOMEBODY has to make up for me losing James Brown this week and it may as well be him. Now that is what we called in the Seventies "The Big Payback".
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
Monday, December 25, 2006
Sunday, December 24, 2006
It was Christmas Eve in Savannah once again. There wasn't any snow on the ground, but you could tell the holiday was here, from the smell of cookies being baked, the lights of the trees in the houses, and everyone shopping the stores to get presents for their loved ones. And Carl Wintergarten was doing just that at this moment. He had gone online this year to pick presents for all his friends. He got a subcription for the Fish of the Month Club for his parents. He bought a remote control muscle car for Sam. He bought cards for all of his friends. With all the things that he purchased, he forgot one person for Christmas: His puppy friend, Bippy.
Carl sat and sat for hours wondering what to get his friend. Bippy was definitly on his list of folks this year as every year, but somehow with all the things he had done for everyone, Carl simply forgot. He didn't mean to. It just happened.
Carl knew he had to do something, but what could he do? He couldn't just face Bippy on Christmas Day without a gift. It would be wrong of him, he thought. So, he ran to Sam while he was putting the last touches on the tree. "Sam, Sam! We have to go shopping NOW! I forgot to get a present for Bippy this year and I don't know what to get him! I can't go online and shop, 'cause it'll be too late!"
Sam looked at Carl and told him to take a deep breath and calm down. "Carl, I hate to say this but it's sort of last minute now. It's Christmas Eve and the stores are gonna close soon. There may be nothing left in the stores at this point."
Carl said, "There just has to be something out there. Please Sam. Take me to the Mall and let me get something for Bippy." So, off in the car they went, through bad traffic. Through driving for what seemed hours to find a parking space. Trudging through crowds and crowds of other last minute shoppers to finally get to the front door of the Mall, only to hear over the loudspeakers, "The Mall will be closing in thirty minutes."
Sam looked tired, but Carl had an idea. "I got it! We'll split up! You go take one end of the Mall and I'll take the other. That way, we can both find something Bippy would like!" Before Sam could stop Carl, he had already scampered off into the crowd to the point where he couldn't be seen. Carl is, after all, very small. Carl ran and ran to each store window looking to see if there was something that Bippy would like, but unsure if it would be perfect. Sam meanwhile was looking around and asking folks if they had seen a penguin running around, which gave him very strange looks from people. Soon a voice came over the mall loudspeakers that said, "The Mall will be closing in fifteen minutes. Merry Christmas!" Sam knew he had to find Carl and get that present quick.
Finally, Carl found himself in front of the pet store where he saw in the window the perfect gift: A Neverending Chewbone. His eyes opened wide and he said, "Perfect!" as he started to walk in. But just as he did, a security guard walked up to him and said, "What are you doing in here? We don't allow unacompanied minors here in the Mall, especially unacompanied minor penguins!" Carl got scared and ran as quickly as he could to get away from the guard, but the man was on his tailfeathers. Carl dipped and ducked as much as he could through the crowd looking for Sam, but he couldn't see him. He knew he had to get away, so he ran into a children's clothing store. There, he saw a jumpsuit and a hat on a rack. He grabbed it without anyone looking, through the clothes on, jumped in the store window and stood as still as he could be. However, it wasn't a help as the guard ran by, stopped and noticed a penguin wearing kid's clothes. The guard grabbed Carl, who saw squawking and screaming for Sam to show up and off they went to the guard's office.
When they got there, the guard sat Carl down and told him that he didn't want to bring him here, but it was for his own good. Minors shouldn't be alone in malls, especially young penguins. They could get hurt or lost or ever worse. Carl started to cry and said he only came here to find last minute present for his friend Bippy and that he didn't mean to cause trouble. The guard asked Carl if he came with someone and the penguin told him who. The security guard got on the loudspeaker and said, "Will the owner of a very small penguin please come to Mall Customer Service, please?"
Sam heard the announcement and quickly ran to the office to find the guard and Carl sitting there and talking. "Thank goodnes I found you, Carl", said Sam. "I was looking everywhere for you!" The guard told Sam that Carl was fine, but that he shouldn't be alone in the Mall. Both Carl and Sam apologized for any trouble. Then Carl said, "Sam, we can still go get Bippy a present now, right?" Both Sam and the guard looked sadly, as the guard said the mall was now closing up for Christmas and that it was too late. Not a word was said in the car from Carl. He sat there as they drove home. When they got there, Sam made some hot cocoa for he and Carl, but the penguin wasn't feeling up to it. He felt as though he let his friend Bippy down. So, he hugged Sam goodnight and went off to his room where he went off to bed.
The next day was Christmas and all the presents were under the tree. Sam called Carl downstairs and the little bird came down slowly dressed in his pajamas. Sam said, "Carl, I've got a present under the tree for you, but I also have a surprize behind me." Carl wondered what that would be when all of a sudden who would step from behind Sam's back was his puppy friend, Bippy.
"Pandora said I could come over and spend Christmas with you guys", said the puppy who handed a box to Carl. Carl then began to cry. "I forgot to get you anything this year, Bippy. I went to the Mall at the last minute and got in trouble and I never got you a gift. I'm sorry, Bippy", said Carl. "That's okay," said the puppy. "The best present you gave me this year is just being my friend. That's all I ask for. Will you still be my friend next year, Carl?" The penguin hugged his friend and said they can be friends for ever and ever, no matter what.
Sam then looked under the tree and said and said, "Carl, you must have forgotten that you did get a gift for Bippy. There's something right here with his name on it." They both looked at Sam and went to the tree and saw that under it was a package that said on it, "Merry Christmas from Carl and Sam". Bippy went to open it and there it was: A Neverending Chewbone! Carl looked surprized as Bippy hugged him and said "I always wanted one of these! It's wonderful! Thank you, Carl!" The penguin smiled as he was happy that his best friend got what he wanted. Carl got what he wanted, too. An autographed photo of Burgess Meridith and a DVD of "March of the Penguins". But he just couldn't figure out how Bippy's present got under the tree. Maybe it was Santa, but however it got there he was happy either way. Because he got to share his friendship for the holidays, which is the best present anyone can give.
And as he put away the ink pen before Bippy and Carl could see it, Sam wished Carl, Bippy and YOU a very Merry Christmas.
Friday, December 22, 2006
Thursday, December 21, 2006
Blew your mind with this video, didn't I?
Sunday, December 17, 2006
Needless to say, this is rated TV PG, so kick the kids out.
Friday, December 15, 2006
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Monday, December 11, 2006
A Kenner Easy Show and a Kenner Give-A-Show Projector. I had both of these as a kid and had loads of fun with them and would have evem more fun with them as an adult. Who needs DVDs when you can watch cool old film strips? Oh, and it must have all the strips.
3 (It's my meme. The above counts as one big thing to me, okay?).
A muscle car with an unlimted gas card and free matinence from Pep Boys for life.
4. That elusive kidney so I don't have to go to dialysis anymore and have that vacation that I've always wanted.
So, If I have to pass this meme along, I'd want to hear from everyone on what the X-mas Genie, I'd love to hear from all the readers on what they'd want. But to anyone specific out there, it has to be Pandora, David, Ivan, Swan Shadow, Brent, Tom, Homer, Mike and since he's never really experienced a meme before, First Reader Dave Hewitt. Everybody has their big Christmas wish. What's yours?
Sunday, December 10, 2006
The music now is different. It's still club based, but rap and r&b are the dance norm these days, with pop mixed in. The thing is, it's all been remixed like crazy. Here's another eighties staple: Do you remember those 12' inch singles of the hottest songs, and how they were remixed? Well, somebody out there still loves the eighties and he's dragging Gwen Stefani to the local bar. The name brand of the sound is called Ultimix. Truthfully, I like some of them, but in small doses. To hear the same beat over and over and over again would drive me crazy in the clubs. So, when I did a gig at a bar, I'd mix the beats up a bit and have a steady flow, starting off at 90 b.p.m. and working my way up for thirty to forty minutes and starting over again to give the crowd a breather. Every DJ's have a different groove, but the same objective. I just work a certain way that works for me and the crowd and I'll stick with it. However, doing it until three in the morning after all the noise, smoke and booze every weekend was too much for me to deal with as I got older, plus bar politics from who I think were some of the most ridiculous managment I had ever worked with made me just want to quit. If you know me offline, you know who I'm talking about. Not the first place, the other joint.
Back to Doubles now. I started playing songs, but nothing too dance-ish(think Rob Thomas and Maroon 5) at nine p.m. as folks started coming in from a Christmas party being heald next door. Immediatly, folks were asking when was the music gonna start. I wanted to punch them in their ears and remind them that I WAS PLAYING MUSIC, but what was on now wasn't the stuff they wanted to hear. So, I looked straight at them and told them to stick around for a bit. However, after telling them that, most of them just looked blank and asked what music was I gonna play. I would then shoot back, "Y'know, I just got this groovy record from The Statler Brothers. Why don't I just throw that one on and let's see who boogies". After saying that, the person would looked surprized, sit back down and wait. Yes, I'm a jackhole at this point, but if someone fueled by alcohol is gonna ask you a dumb question, you have every right to shut them down. And when you are a club dj, you are gonna get dummies on vokda and Red Bull showing up. I'm not saying that's you, but they are out there.
By ten p.m., the music gets faster and the crowd gets bigger. By eleven, more music and the dancefloor is packed like a woman in a heels too small for her feet, but she likes 'em anyway. The bar is busy, the folks are having a good time and I'm going into my zone, mixing one tune into another, going from "Promisous" from Nelly Fertado to "Sexyback" by Justin Timberlake to "Don't Stop 'til You Get Enough" by Michael Jackson and then some while friends who saw on My Space that I was back for just one night came down to show some love. All the while, keeping an eye on the crowd to sense their mood and how they were dancing.
Now, the following isn't p.c., but I'm gonna say it anyways because it needs to be said. When it comes to dancing, race and sex is important to a club dj. We'll break it down from first to worst...
Black Men and Women: That's all that needs to be said. When Black women hit the floor, so do Black men. It don't matter how old they are. They have the rythym to get their groove on. Before I continue on, I can say that being Black, so don't start with that Jimmy the Greek crap at me, please. I'm not Gregory Hines, but I can keep up if I wanted. I prefer old school soul, personally.
White Women: Okay, now this is interesting. I've seen White chicks dance with Black men, White men and other White chicks. All of them very freakalisious, as the Fergie song goes. I don't know what it is but it's always White chicks between the age of twenty-one and thirty getting their freak on by any means nessesary after a Jaggerbomb and it's a sight. It's like watching a Britney Spears video with them.
Gay Men: More the Gay White Male than the Gay Black Male. I don't know what it is, but I have seen more Gay white men act like strong Black women on the dance floor than even the strong Black women. Plus, they really love the music. Sometimes, they were my best customers, God bless them.
Straight White Males: To quote Eddie Murphy, what do y'all dance to: the words or the beat? This has to be the saddest thing in the world to watch a straight White guy attempt to dance. Either he's trying to hard or he's just there to make his girlfriend/wife/possible booty call feel good. Truthfully, there were some White guys out there on the floor who tried their darnest to keep up, but they just couldn't, bless their souls. They were out there doing The Monkey and The Twist to 50 Cent. Did you know that the dance that the charater Carlton on "The Fresh Prince of Bell Air" is called The White Boy? Watch the show next time and know there's a reason why they call it "The White Boy" when you see 'em dance. Oh, and don't bring up Travolta. He has money and a teacher.
My night ended around 2:45am when I gave last call and told everyone to home. Folks danced, booze flowed and everyone was happy, telling me I did a good job after not spinning for over a year. That made me feel great and I had a wonderful time, but I was spent focusing all my energy into the mix for nearly six hours. Plus, I had to be at work at the station in three hours that morning and that's where we are now. My feet hurt from standing alot, my head throbs still from 125b.p.m. and I slept on the studio floor after leaving the club for fear of going home to my own bed and getting too comfortable to get up for work. I'm grumpy and I'm forty, I know that. But if you were there at Doubles last night, I'll bet I made you dance your ass off. 'Cause I still got it.
UPDATE If you've never seen Carlton do the dance, here it is in all it's glory. I wasn't trying to be a jerk about it, but believe me. If you just went to a bar or club and just sit back with a Coke and just people watch like I do, you'd see some pretty hilarous stuff and thank your lucky stars that you aren't out there with those crazies.
Friday, December 08, 2006
For those of you who remember them properly, here's the original version of The Heat Miser's song...
And here's the original Snow Miser's version.
You wanna know who's on the naughty list? NBC if they screw this up.
Thursday, December 07, 2006
Don't worry...I didn't get a whooping, either.
Monday, December 04, 2006
Sunday, December 03, 2006
I fisrt discovered Limoncello watching Mario Batali on Food Network giving a tour of a liqueur plant in Italy making the stuff and I was fasinated, being a fan of lemon slushies, of course. Then one day after being invited to my friends Jeff and Tina's for dinner, I was offered a glass of the drink they had picked up from their visit to Tuscany. After one sip, I was hooked on the stuff. If you've had it before, you know what I'm talking about. However, buying a bottle can be expensive since it's mosty imported. However, leave it to little ol' me to find a recipe on how to make your own, courtesy of What's Cooking America. Yes it's a summer drink, but it also goes great in hot teas during winter.
2 (750 ml) 100-proof vodka**
4 cups sugar 5 cups water
* Choose thick-skinned lemons because they are easier to zest.
** Use 100-proof vodka, which has less flavor than a lower proof one. Also the high alcohol level will ensure that the limoncello will not turn to ice in the freezer.
Wash the lemons with a vegetable brush and hot water to remove any reside of pesticides or wax; pat the lemons dry.
Carefully zest the lemons with a zester or vegetable peeler so there is no white pith on the peel. NOTE: Use only the outer part of the rind. The pith, the white part underneath the rind, is too bitter and would spoil your limoncello. Check out my web page on How to Zest.
Step One: In a large glass jar (1-gallon jar), add one bottle of vodka; add the lemon zest as it is zested. Cover the jar and let sit at room temperature for at least (10) ten days and up to (40) days in a cool dark place. The longer it rests, the better the taste will be. (There is no need to stir - all you have to do is wait.) As the limoncello sits, the vodka slowly take on the flavor and rich yellow color of the lemon zest.
Step Two: In a large saucepan, combine the sugar and water; cook until thickened, approximately 5 to 7 minutes. Let the syrup cool before adding it to the Limoncello mixture. Add to the Limoncello mixture from Step One. Add the additional bottle of vodka. Allow to rest for another 10 to 40 days.
Step Three: After the rest period, strain and bottle: discarding the lemon zest. Keep in the freezer until ready to serve.
EIGHTY DAYS? Damn. Well if I start now, it'll be near March when it's done. If I keep it in the freezer for at least two months and resist temptation, it's perfect for the summertime. Oh, and don't expect too many recipes for anything from me. This was a once in a while deal, and I've been busy and needed to fill.
Here's the big event I was talking about Friday, From My Space:
DJ SAM JOHNSON'S RETURN!
When:Dec 10 2006 10:00pm
Where::Doubles in the Holiday Inn Midtown7100 Abercorn
Savannah, GA 31406US View Map
Doubles Nightclub is wrapping up 2006 with the hottest DJs in the Coastal Empire... And Saturday December 9th, Doubles welcomes DJ SAM JOHNSON to the booth!! Those who have partied Downtown in Savannah know Sam Johnson as the ingredient that MADE hot spots such as the Bar Bar and Wet Willies!!
Doubles has just signed the agreement and secured the services of DJ Sam Johnson for SATURDAY, DECEMEMBER 9th!! IT'S OFFICIAL!!!
Great drink specials, plenty of parking and NO COVER!! Doubles Nightclub located at the corner of Abercorn & Eisenhower inside the Holiday Inn!! The HOTTEST Dance Club on the Southside of Savannah!!
Okay, I didn't write the above, but it is true. If you're down this way, stop on if for a bit and shake your bum for awhile. I'll be happy to see ya.
Friday, December 01, 2006
I've been really busy this week with something special I'll tell you about on Sunday. Until I get back, watch the heralded reunion of Richard Simmons and Dave Letterman. Six years in the making for this special moment. I'll leave the jokes to you. Make 'em good...