Sunday, January 14, 2007

School Daze

The day is getting closer and closer now. I can feel the hairs on the back of my neck standing up. I am a nervous wreck as of this moment, although you can't see it. But read between the lines here, people. I start school in less than four days and I am as freaked out as John Kruck at a Ludacris concert.

To paraphrase the "Superchicken" theme song, I knew the tests was dangerous when I took it. I'm glad I did, because I now know I'm still as smart as I once was, and maybe smarter thanks to wise old age. I guess I'm just nervous due to the fact that whatever happens from the first day on, it will change my life incredebly. I just hope that however it all turns out, I'll have a secure future after graduation.

Speaking of graduating, did I ever tell you of my last time striding the boards? Of course not. It's 1984 and I'm finally done with twelve years of public education. I was living with my father and his family at the time and I was glad I got this far along in manhood. The old man could care less. He drove me and the rest of the family to graduation as slow as he could, getting me there as late as possible. The jackhole never really taught me how to drive when I was a teen, thinking that I was a flight risk and I would run off and tell everyone what a jerk he was. Nonetheless, he got us there by the skin of my teeth and I had to fish my way onto the stage to get my diploma. If it wasn't for my school principle seeing me, I would have had my paper mailed to me thanks to Dad.

Anyway, after the Pomp and Circumstances, names where called and finally I got up to get my due after thay called mine. When I walked across the stage to get my diploma, I looked out in the audience to see if anyone was applauding for me. I could see my brothers Martin and Eric, my step mother, and my three kid sisters clapping. However, the old man had a look on his face that said, "Great. Now I gotta pay for college for the bastard. Who does he think he is?" Kinda takes the wind coming thru your gown, doesn't it?

On the way out of the auditorium, the family gave me big hugs and congratulated me for all my hard work, all save the old man. He was quiet until he drove the entire famliy to K-Mart, where he claimed he had to get some car stuff then we'll be going home, so no b.s. in the store. I figured he would have taken us out to celebrate that his first (real) son was his first to finish school, but instead we wound up going back to the house where I was told by him that it was my turn to do the dishes and make sure to fill the dishwasher properly.

I hate to talk about my past and anything that has to do with my father. But I look at those days now and try to make something better out of it. Especially now with me headed back to college. Because when I walk the stage in two years, that muscleheaed old goat won't be around to ruin my day. 'Cause I'm gonna have a real future, for the very first time. If I can just get rid of the butterflies.

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