Sunday, October 14, 2007

The Human Target

On November of 2004, I wrote a post on this very site about how Target department stores are evil. You may read that post here. Since then, I have not been to a Target for anything. That's right...I fought the temptation for low prices and quality prices for years, for Target has everything you need. Need a new coffee maker, they got it. Need a good hat, they got it in your size. Only Satan could run a store like this, so to save me soul I never looked back and stayed away. Until now.

Last Thursday, The Dark Lord opened the doors to a brand new Target just five minutes away from my home on Victory Drive. Ironically, this was location for the town's first K-Mart until it was torn down two years ago. Since then, Home Depot, Staples and other stores made their way as agents of the Enemy to see his way through. During the grand opening, many Savannians sold their souls for a Red Card for even bigger discounts. Ol' Jack Scratch is a dark one, but at least he'll cut you a break or two on sneakers.

Before I walked into the store, I gave myself three Hail Marys and crossed myself over and over, but there was nothing I could do. It was like when the priest walked into the room in "the Excorcist, execpt without all the vomit and stuff. The looks on the shoppers faces reminded me of zombies on the verge with buggies in the hands. I knew that I had to stay stong, even if I saw a 72' flatscreen LCD TV for $799.00. Sure, I only had thirty bucks on me and I would have busted my debit card wide open, but c'mon! That was a bargin! Damn you, Satan!

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