Monday, October 29, 2007


I did not want to do this, but the man has given me no choice. Effective immediatly, I hereby retract my decision to support Stephen Colbert as President of the United States. On Sunday in a speech given in his home state of South Carolina, Colbert stated that "I promise, if elected, I will crush the state of Georgia". Also, "Our peaches are more numerous than Georgia's," he said. "They are more juiciful."

First of all, the city of Savannah has been a rival of Charleston for over 200 years. Of course, we look much better and our city smells better than theirs. By the way, I heard they got an STD from Charlotte, North Carolina, but you didn't hear it from me.

Second, whenever peaches are even mentioned in a conversation, it's always about Georgia peaches. Even Southern women are called Georgia peaches who aren't even from Georgia. You ever hear of a Southern woman called a South Carolina peach? No, because they are sour and filled with worms.

Stephen Colbert, pronounced COL-BURT from this day forward, you have upset me to the fullest with your acquations and lies about my fair state and challenge you to an old fashioned Southern Duel. You have not only besmirched my honor, but also the honor of the millions people who call the Fair and Beautiful state of Georgia home, by God. You have now recieved my Wag of the Finger and it is in the middle of my hand, sir.

In other words: It's on now, bee-yotch.

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