Monday, May 28, 2007
Sunday, May 27, 2007
This bit is an outtake from the continuing "Eunice" sketches that ran on the Burnett show that later became the sitcom "Mama's Family". In it, the family is playing a board game when Mickey Harper, played by Comway tells the story of a circus elephant that will have you rolling. You'll see Dick Van Dyke, who replaced Korman in the final season looking like he's about to pee his pants. The funniest line doesn't come from Tim, but from Vicki as Mama. This mis funny enough for kids, but when Vicki dropps the final line, you may want to lower the volume for a second. I dare you however not to laugh af this bit. If you don't, then you are a cold hearted bastard. Enjoy!
Friday, May 25, 2007
Here in my litte corner of the interweb, I decided to pay tribute by just screwing with the whole thing. First up is the one and only "Star Wars" kid, doing his thing. No remixes, no green screen adaptation, just the pure original.
Next, here's the short film "Troops", one of the very first tribute films to get appoval from the fans.
Continuing on, here's the first episode of "Chad Vader", who is Darth's younger brother. It's interesting that Chad works as a night manager of a grocery store, while Anakin keeps getting the Death Star blown up.
By the way, what happens when Darth has to call The Emporer to tell him The Death Star been blown to shreds? Here's what the guys at Robot Chicken thought.
Finally, here's the animated part of the dreaded "Star Wars Holiday Special". A couple of years ago, I posted the entire show here, but I couldn't do that to you this time, so instead I just got the best part for you, featuring the original cast and the first appearance of Boba Fett. Happy birthday, "Star Wars". You've helped to make geeks sexy now for thirty years. Be proud.
Thursday, May 24, 2007
I have to say that I'm pretty proud of it. I got it (free!) from a friend of mine who was interning at a local parlor nearly four years ago. I don't wear muscle shirts to show it off these days, but every once in a while, I'll roll up my sleeve and let it get some air. The reason I did it is because that symbol means so much to me: Honesty, bravery, and truth. If the tat you want means as much to you as mine to me then for all means go for it.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Monday, May 21, 2007
The company has partnered up with The Franklin Mint to print up around 40,000 quarters with the Surfer's likeness to be distributed across the country starting on the 22nd. The cool part of it is the quarter is legal tender once it goes into circulation, and if you have one you can enter into a contest for a chance to win a trip to the world premire of the movie. If you're a coin collector, then this should be right up your alley.
The other item deals with the upcomiong film, The Dark Knight, which is the sequel to Batman Begins. If you haven't heard by now, Heath Legder will play The Joker as the antagonist. For months since the announcement, folks wondered how Ledger will look as the deadly crime clown. If you go to one of the newly created sites for the movie, www.IBelieveinHarveyDenttoo.com , it looks as though the site has been hacked into. Once the picture changes, it will go from the hacked photo to what you are about to see here.
I was asked by another comic fan what I thought of the photo. I said that I thought it looked cool, as long as they don't revert back to previous incarnations of the character. I'm just happy that Christopher Nolan decided at the begining to stick to the basics and not give Batman nipples or camp. This is a Joker that gives nightmares and that's what moviegoers should get July 18th of next year. That and Katie Holmes being replaced. WIth all that said, I'm going to the store to prepare a spagetti meal and get ready for the season finale of "Heroes" tonight. I deserve it.
Sunday, May 20, 2007
Friday, May 18, 2007
"2 words.........HUBBA HUBBA!"
"check you out !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "
"Damn, lookin' pretty good. Makes me want to lick you."
"Make some Space I'm moving to Savannah! Sammito you look Right Dam Hot, careful someone is going to love kidnap you like That.... Hope we don't get too use to this.... Dashing new Style of yours Baby Besos From Guatemala! Caya "
That's right, clean a guy up and he can work miracles.
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
I got an email from him this morning with a big announcement (he does that when he has a big announcement, Tony does) that Tony will now be in the public eye as the "tour guide" for the biggest TV show of the summer "On The Lot" coming to Fox on Tuesday, May 22nd at 9 p.m. In case you haven't heard, it's a reality show where budding filmakers have a chance to go to Hollywood for their big shot of winning a development deal with Dreamwork Pictures. The show is star studded and judged by Carrie Fisher, Brett Ratner, Garry Marshall and Jon Avnet and is produced by Mark Burnett and STEVEN SPIELBERG! SPIELBERG! THE MAN IS WORKING FOR SPIELBERG! I KNOW SOMEONE WORKING FOR SPIELBERG! NO SIX DEGREES OF SEPERATION HERE! WOW!
In all seriousness here, I have to say congratulations to Tony for this big break. I know that he and his wife Donna have both worked hard in Hollywood and it's finally paying off. Thank you for your good friendship over the years, Tony. I know that many of the fellow bloggers in both of our blogrolls wish you the best of luck on this new venture and I hope that you let us in on all the stories behind the scenes. You're gonna make a great host. Folks, it looks as though a Child of Television finally gets the chance to play. Don't forget to watch him.
Monday, May 14, 2007
Sunday, May 13, 2007
My mother's name was Sara Elizabeth Gordon. She was born here in Savannah, Georgia on October 18th, 1932, the oldest girl of the Jackson family. She had tough life as she grew up, but found happiness in her first husband, Willliam Gordon and the children they had together. He had a cab company and she even drove on occasion, to make sure that their family would survive. That would not last, as William passed away from lupus in 1963. Soon, Sara would have to take of the family herself and that's what she did.
Sara would do her best to take of a brood of children: her own seven and three from William's first marrige, which meant that ten heads of kids needed to be clothed and fed. Soon, after awhile I and my brother Martin was born. But no matter what, Sara did what she had to do. She worked at the local restaurant, took up a nurse's assistance duty, and still had time to play the hell out of a piano at our church, all while putting up with bums trying to upset her role as THE BOSS. She didn't need a man to take of her. Her second husband, William Thompson, was over 65 years old when she met him, and although he said he could solve may problems, he also has many excuses. The marrige ended in 1980. Let's not even get into my father, who was loud and abusive and care for more women than he cared for Sara.
Sara-mo, as we nicknamed her, had one rule for making it though life. Do what you can 'til you get what you want. We lived by that rule forever. We never had anything new, except clothes. It was hand-me-down furniture, cars, whatever and we made the best of it until it wore out. We lived on a budget, but we were always fed and kept on the straight and narrow on her watch, doing her best to make sure that we repected everything and everyone that came our way, no matter what.
We lost Sara after a battle with cancer on October 25, 1982, just a week after her fiftieth birthday. When they held her funeral, the church was packed to the rafters to send her home. I never attened.
Years before, I talked to Mom about death and dying after a relative had passed on. I told her if I were to ever die to please don't go to my funeral, I thought that a parent should never see their child that way. Sara told me that she'd do it on the condition that I don't go to hers and I should remember her that way she was and cherish her memories. Two years later, I went to funeral home and saw what was the shell of former life for at least 10 seconds and walked away, holding on to our promise and keeping her alive in my thoughts and dreams.
The only photo I have of my mama is her driver's licence that I only spirited away from my brother Anthony, who along with the rest of the family, has dozens of pictures of her, after years of asking them to let me have at least something that I could remember by. It is now the most precious thing I have. I keep it in my wallet and look at it everyday to see that smile of hers. That woman was the anchor that kept held me down without going astray for sixteen years. Anyone else who would try to have me raised any other way would learn different. There was no one like Sara in my life since.If your mama's still here, or if she isn't, wish her a happy Mother's Day and tell her thank you for all she's done. You wouldn't be ther person you are today without her.
Miss you, Mama.
Friday, May 11, 2007
I'm glad she's going to jail. She probably won't spend the full forty-five days there, but while she's there I hope she learns her lesson. Yeah she's just a kid, but she's a spoiled rich kid who thinks she's above everything, including the law. Although she has come out on her little My Space page and said that she knows she's fully responsible, it's all spin. Anytime she can get her name out into the press, it's just a few more seconds on her fame clock. Even when she's mentioned here, it's just another Google hit for her.
A few months back, I got a comment from a sixteen year old girl who was upset with me that I had written such terrible thing about Miss Hilton. " ... you should have at least enough respect and dignity to think of how what YOU say can effect others; stop spending all your time trying to hurt others to make yourselves feel better, and try using your time to better yourself and worry less about others." Well kid, I feel great because Paris is going behind bars and there is one less dangerous driver on the road in America. How about we just look at the situation like this...
Say someone you knew personally was killed by someone who was driving drunk who had their driver's licence taken away from them. Then seeing the perpetrator of the crime telling the court that they didn't realize that they couldn't drive once the licence was gone. You'd be upset, too. Becasue then you would realize that the driver was a danger to everyone, whether the other person was another driver, passenger, or pedestrian.
If this takes Pairs off the roads for a while so she can learn how not to be a fool, so be it. I really hope that she does learn her lesson behind bars. If she's going to be a role model for teen aged girls,teach them to face up to responsibilty and grow up. I've lost way too many friends and family to folks on the roads driving without caring about the other guy. If Miss Hilton should ever come down that road and God forbids it does happen, please don't come back to me angry.
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
Seven minutes of mayhem: That's all Chuck Jones needed to get you to laugh. No plot, no talk, just plain action. If any Hollywood director could tell a story like that, they'd make millions (hear that, Michael Bay?). These days, you need to have marketing and research and focus groups to tell you if it worls or not. Chuck sat in Termite Terrace in the Warner Brothers lot and just did it.
So, as a salute to what was one of the best animated short series ever made, if niotthe best, I found this on You Tube. It's a "greatest hits" (pun intended) to some of the best scenes between The Road Runner and Wile E. Coyote, Super Genius (how many times did you used to say that in the school yard when you had a plan?) all done to the theme song from the anime series, Cowboy Bebop. The song by the way is called "Tank!" by the way and it wails! Dig it, man!
Monday, May 07, 2007
I'm going to say a few things that are gonna piss many of you women off. It has to be said now because at this point, I'm just angry about it and frustrated. So, here we go...
You women want the truth. The real truth? None of you are my type.
I'm serious here.
You see, I have a lot of women as my friend here on My Space. There's a reason for that. BECAUSE I AM A SINGLE MAN. If you haven't figured it out by now, that is the main reason why I even signed on to this monstrosity. However, since I decided to become part of this place, I can truthfully say that I haven't found what I'm looking for. Lord knows I've tried as hard as I can, but without luck. To quote you ladies when you're in this perdiciment, why are all the good ones either married or gay?
I've gone out with a few of women in my friends list, but that's less than a handfull. Because of dialysis and now college, I don't have the time or energy to just go out and hit the singles scene. "See Sam, if you get off your ass and go look instead of trying online, it would be easier." It would be, but I did the bar thing when I was a club dj. I'm too old and too tired for that right now. I thought that meeting women here could work out fine. NO, IT HASN'T.
What I am about to say now will probably lose me a few people from the friends list, but it has to be said, since the frustration of it all is driving me nuts here. I won't use names, but if they know who they are, please understand how I feel right now...
One was a very nice mom of three, but sadly I really don't think she was that interested in me. I thought she was great, but there wasn't any conection there...
There's the ex-Marine who I strated to talk to, but she saw it as only friends. IT ALWAYS WINDS UP AS ME BEING JUST FRIENDS WITH WOMEN! You know what my problem is, is that I frickin' listen too much. You women always complain that we don't listen and when we do, it just drops us down from Macho Guy to Big Brother just like that. I am a Man, for God's sake. Have you ever thougth that I may like you for your butt? If I were an asshole, would you like me even more like all the other guys that treat you like shit, then run to me crying and asking me why are guys the way they are? By the way, there are A LOT of women on that list. Thank God I'm not naming names right now...
Here's the big one: Some of you women have waaaaaay too much drama for me to deal with. I went out with someone recently who literally was in tears after I asked her one simple question: "Tell me about yourself". What happened then was akin to a flood of tears as she told me how tough her life was a that moment for two hours straight. My God, I just wanted to know more about her and I got a Lifetime movie of the week that could have starred Valeri Bertinelli. What made it worse was that it all happened in public and folks were staring at me like I just broke up with her. I don't even want to get into the fact that she told me about her ex-boyfriend who's still her "buddy", if you get that. I never felt so mortified in all my life.
Here's the deal: this is the kind of woman that I'm looking for. I know it's asking for much, but I deserve what's only best for me. Yes, I've heard the crap that the perfect person doesn't exsist, but if she did this is what I'd look for out of her...
Physically, she has to be at between 4'10" and 5'10. As for weight, she can't be bigger than me. Sorry, I like a little meat on the bone, but not a slab.
As for brains, if she's smart, fantastic. Not too smart, though. I don't mean Gracie Allen/Chissy Snow dumb at all. I mean, if she knows quotes from "Monty Pathon and The Meaning of Life", she can tell me who was in The Rat Pack and can laugh at a stupid joke then turn around and tell one works well.
Attitude wise, I don't want a 'round the way girl. There, I said it. If you are a hood chick, Black or White, good for you, but it's just not my type. I don't like tough chicks. I like a woman to be a woman. If they know martial arts or like to watch a good boxing match, I'm cool with that, but I like old fashioned women. I know that sounds stereotypical of a guy to say, but that's just me. In other words, if you could have auditioned on Flavor of Love and then got kicked off and gone on to Flavor of Love's Charm School, then I am not the man you need to be with.
By the way, if you have drama, I mean MAJOR DRAMA, fix it before you go out with ANYBODY. No one wants to go out with someone so screwed up. I go to dialysis three days a week. That is PROBLEM and a health problem, at that. If you are still dealing with ex boyfriend who you are still having sex with even while he's gone off and married another woman, or you have an ex who still wants posession of you and you break up with him ever other week even after he treats you like crap, but you still love him for treating you like crap over the years, then you have Oscar award winning drama that outshines any role Meryl Streep or Helen Mirren could play. I can't fix you if you can't fix you. I can be there, but I can't solve this Rubick's Cube. And yes, I WILL LISTEN when you need me to. But when it gets to the point of just becoming absoloutly frickin' ridiculous, then you should really think about why you're life is so screwed up before you get anyone else's life screwed up.
So here's how it should break down: She's gotta have Hallie's sexiness when she had short hair, Tina Fey's brain and her glasses (that's a lot right there), and Amy Winehouse's singing voice. She must have own life togthether before we've met, as I'm doing my best to make sure that I get mine straight and I don't have time to fix your ex problems. Kids are fine, as long as you don't expect me to become instant dad. They respect me and I'll respect them. Most of all, I want a woman I can sit back with on the couch while she's wearing button down shirt and knee socks, watching Turner Classic Movies and joking about how cheesy the dialogue from "The Ten Commandments" were. How great a chili dog can be. How much fun it is just to go to the bar and see how goofy some of the folks there are. Just a good time and great conversation. That's all I want. Like I said, I know I'm being picky. But dammit, that's all I want in life at this point. Why is it so hard for me to get that? Why is trying someone to make me happy so goddammed hard?
Sunday, May 06, 2007
Me: Hey guys, I know you're having fun out here and all, but watch it with that ball, alright? You might break something.
Kid 1: Naaaaw, that wasn't the ball. Thas was stupid throwing dirt around.
(I look at my window and there's dirt on the screen and big clump of dirt on the ground.)
Me (outraged at Kid 2:) What the hell are you, a frickin' moron? I can see you throwing the ball around, but dirt? Geez kid, how old are you?
Kid 2 (sheepishly): Twelve.
Me: Twelve years old and you're throwing dirt like you're four years old?! What are you, some kind of idiot? What kind of twelve years old throws dirt? Are you that freakin' dumb? Did your parents just raise you to be that dumb or do you not even care anymore? Go home! Just go home and go throw dirt at your mama's window and see what get then, you doofus!
I really don't think anyone had ever talked to Kid 2 the way I went off on him that day. Now, I know what most of you may be thinking here. "My God, he just went off on that kid like he was Alec Baldwin or something." Yes. Yes I did. But he wasn't my kid. if it was my kid, I'd have grounded him for being so dumb at the age of twelve to throw dirt at windows. Only for a couple of days. Besides, I'm starting to get crotchety now as I get older and starting to feel myself becoming Old Man Johnson now. Somebody's gotta straighten out these young punks now before they get out of hand it, so it may as well be me.
I'm so glad that I don't have a daughter at a dating age right now. Boys would never even get to the screen door close enough.
By the way, today I gave away some books I picked up on Free Comic Book Day to two of the boys who were there during the verbal thrashing I gave out yesterday to prove I am a good guy. They never even thanked me for 'em. Little bastards.
Friday, May 04, 2007
Suddenly, the floodgates open and everyone starts crying for the rest of the film. To paraphrase Tom Hanks in "A League Of Their Own", there's no crying in superhero movies. Batman never cried. The Thing never cired. Wolverine came close, but didn't because he's Wolverine and he is the best that there is. I know that they want to show that comic book charaters have reral emotions, but dang near everone starts crying in the second half of the movie. Peter cries, MJ cries, Harry Osborn cries, Aunt May cries. Even the freakin' villians cry. For the love of God, I know that The Sandman has an emotional connection to his daughter, so I understand that. He's a bad guy with a heart. But Venom? Eddie Brock is a out and out ass. Did he have to cry to make up for the fact that he is a class A jackhole?
I did like Spider-Man 3, don't get me wrong. I recommend this film. I loved the action scenes and seeing a man swing across the New York skyline is still thrilling. However, with all the weepyness, I felt turned off for a bit. I wanted the great story of the first two films, but I didn't feel it this time.You know, that Yo Factor Randy Jackson keeps talking about. I know that the Sam Rami and writer Alvin Sargent worked hard to make this the best film of the trilogy, but this time around it slipped just a bit. Tobey Maguire once again does a good job in his usual dual role, but this time it turns into a sort of quad role as we see a darker side to Spidey and Peter. In this film's Pete's Life montage, we see him strutting dowen the street, giving the Issac from The Love Boat move to all the ladies on the avenue, all to the beat of funk like he was Tony Manero. As for MJ, Kirsten Dunst seems tired of playing dress up as her character, although a vital point in the Spidey mythos, just comes off as weak as her singing voice this time.
As for the baddies, Thomas Haden Chruch is great as Sandman. He's a bad guy who just wants to take care of his sick child and he'll do anything to make sure she gets the help she needs, so you feel a bit of sympathy for the guy. The same can't be said for Topher Grace as Eddie Brock/Venom. THis is the guy you want to see get his butt kicked. He's rotten to the core and once he gains power, you want him put down faster. But you think about how cool he looks in that black goo. Then there's James Franco as Harry, who is conflicted on whether he should be friends with Pete of just destoy Peter's life or just be friends.
The only person who doesn't cry in the film is J.K. Simmons as J. Jonah Jameson, who still gives off the wonderfully funny bluster from the first two movies. If he had seen any of the main characters weeping the way they did in the last half of the film, he'd have looked at them and grufly said, "Pussies, all of you! Walk it off and get your crap together now!" I could have used that near the end.
Thursday, May 03, 2007
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
Mind you, this is just the suit itself. The design was based off the comics of course, and was done by Stan "I'm marry him if he was a woman, because the kids would look cool as hell" Winston. Once I see Robert Downey, Jr. wearing it, that will be the day they carry me out of the theater screaming like I just saw the Beatles on Sullivan. I need to go lie down now. All of this, plus reliving Peter versus Sylar on "Heroes' Monday night has just drained me.