Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Thursday is Singles Awareness Day

I was on the phone with my friend Annie and I asked her how she would spend Valentine's Day. SHe told me that after six years with her husband Chris, she wasn't expecting anything. Sometimes, she'l get a gift aat the last minute and then it's nold flowers or bad candy. Even worse, he might forget what day it was. That's what makes me hate Valentine's Day. You expect a great gift, or an least some acknolegement from your sweetie that day. Then, the MAN forces commericals on you that amkes oyu have to go out and buy your loved one a gift that costs way too much and when you get it, they toss it in the corner! They never got you jack squat! This is why I am glad to be single. So tomorrow, I am celebrating my singularity. Hence, I say we have Singles Awareness Day.

Did you know that there are loads of single folks out there? Maybe you're one of them. Don't you hate it when your couple friends start getting all mushy in front of you on Valentine's, even though you know that later in the night they will fight like cats and dogs because someone forgot to put the cap on the toothpaste? Oh yeah, I love the single live. Because if I weren't I would be paying for somebody's crap right now.

Call me angry, call me tired, call me a bitter, sad loney man. But at least I won't forget to pick up a Valentine's gift at the last minute and wind up going to the QUickie Mart and get one of those plastic ballon bouquets at 11:58 pm.Celebrate Singles Awareness Day Thursday. Grope a Single person today. Oh and for Annie and all the other spouses who may get screwed over tomorrow, I welcome you all with open arms. But that's it. I don't climb out of windows anymore.

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