Tuesday, April 01, 2008


I know what your thinking. It's April Fool's Day and I've done something crazy here online to freak you all out. Well, I don't. Nope. Because it's a dialysis day, I have to take it easy. That does mean that I don't get to have a little fun.

Today was just another ordinary day in the clinic. I sat on the machine for four and a half hours and was nearly drained from it, as usual. However, I noticed something diferent in the bay next to me. One of the patients who sits next to me regularly had just gotten a used, yet still good Rascal scooter. You've seen those things on TV or in the malls. Old folks puttering around on those things getting from here to there without help. They don't even need a car to get around. Man, if we all had those just think about how much we could save on gas! As I kept looking at it, I began to grow an air of mirth around me. I knew I was because I could feel the air pressure drop around me. I knew then once I got off the machine what I was going to do and as soon as I had finished my long run, I did it.

I got up from my chair, walked over to the Rascal and looked at it's new owner. "Dorothy", I said. "I am going to steal your scooter for just a few moments, if you don't mind."

"Go, right ahead", Dororthy returned smiling in all her old age.

I got into the seat, which was very comfortable. I then looked at the right arm of the seat and saw the power button. I touched it and very quickly, the chair came to life. I then grabbed the joystick, pulled back and before you knew it I was off like greased lighting. Soon, I was whipping around the clinic floor like a senior Speed Racer. I drove along doing my best Patrick Stewart impersonation and the nurses and technicians all laughed while the old folks just stared at me like I was a young punk invading their turf. I didn't care one flip. Those fogies would not deny me my pleasure!

Sadly, it was all over as Dorothy had to go home. I hated to give up the Rascal. In fact, I knew if I had to fight her for it, I could win. Still, I had enjoyed myself for once during dialysis and I deserve it. I could still feel the wind as it blew over my bald head as I took a corner with two wheels. Ahhhh, bliss.

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