Monday, November 17, 2008

Never Again

I'm not going to talk about how I had to do karaoke over the weekend at another bar other than the one I do on Saturday nights and how horrible it was. I won't talk about how the bartender I dealt with on Friday night was old and drunk and had no teeth. I won't talk about how the equipment didn't work that night for me. I won't talk about the guy who looked like Jim Dangle from Reno 911 and sounded like the guy from Family Guy ("Oh, heyyyyyy!") and how the bar shut down at 1:30 because the bar was empty.

I won't talk about on Saturday about how it got worse. I won't go into detail about the fat cow who said I looked like Al Roker, then sent me a note that said she had a gun and that I should play Pink "or else" and then how I jumped in the mike and told the bovine that I all I got is time and space. Or the new bartender who looked great from the back until you got up close and how she looked like Carol Alt if she had a serious meth problem , then dragged down a South Carolina highway. Or how she wanted to sing "Leather and Lace" by Stevie Nicks and "Turn The Page" by Bob Segar over and over again. Not even how I had to deal with the fact that a deaf man wanted to sing "Friends In Low Places" by Garth Brooks and I mean really sing like Peter Boyle in Young Frankenstein.

UPDATE I can't even finish this post, it was so freakin' horrible. There's a lot more where that came from, I swear. There was a jackass named Monte who almost got douche of the year that I can't even write about for fear of tracking him down and taking away his oxygen privliges. I just feel mentally violated and will never do karaoke at King's Inn ever again and that is the truth as written.

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