Monday, December 15, 2008

"No sir, I don't like it!"

Everybody else has a list around now, so why not me? And then, it's always the Top Ten Ice Creme flavors or The Ten Best Hamburgers in Europe, just stupid crap. Screw them. This list is the things I thought that sucked 2008. To paraphrase Mel Brooks, "Let them all go to Hell, except Dave Letterman's Top Ten". Trust me, folks. This really is the only year end list that matters.

-I'm glad that I finally got the President in office I wanted. The fact that I had to wade through 18 months to get to that point sucks. FIX IT.

-"Clean Coal" makes as much sense as a contestant on "Rock Of Love with Brett Michaels".

-Elliot Spitzer blows and Rod Blagojevitch spits in the face of politics. F'em.

-"My Own Worst Enemy"? More like "My Own Worst Career Move". Co-starring Val Kilmer.

-Looking for some "30 Rock" backlashing? Fine. Tina Fey refuses to do anymore Sara Palin jokes. 'Cause I'll bet there's a lot to mine out there in Alaska.

-For that matter, I talked to someone a few days ago and I actually agreed with them that Sara Palin was actually a great Vice Presidential candidate. Yet, she's completly lousy at naming kids. Trig? TRACK? WTF?

-That goes to Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson new kid, Lyp Sink.

-Going in front of Congress for a loan after flying in on corporate jets is like O.J. going to beat up and kidnapping a guy. Really stupid because somebody's gonna say something about it.

-"The fundamentals of America's economy is strong." Really? Just when did McCain go from being a fun uncle to my crotchety old grandpa?

-Just WHO OR WHAT the Hell is Lady Gaga and why does anyone think that she can friggin' sing? Did I just turn into McCain?

-Hi, Mike Myers? This is your talent. I miss you.

-I really didn't mind the price of gas going up to 4.00 a gallon. The fact that I didn't even get breakfast in the morning and had to do The Walk Of Shame in front of everybody pissed me off, though. Pig.

-It took this long for anyone to officially say that America is now in a recession? Hell, I could have told you when I payed my bills at the beginning of the year.

-I truly was surprised that one one jumped out of windows while the stock market dropped all those times. I got nothing there. I was just really surprised, that's all.

-And finally, I really did think "The Dark Knight" sucked. Because Heath Ledger isn't around anymore to see it.  Nor will we ever see George Carlin, Forrest J.Ackerman, Michael Turner, Bettie Page, Levi Stubbs, Van Johnson, Paul Newman, Don LaFontaine or Jennifer Hudson's mother, brother and nephew again. Abe Vigoda, however takes a licking, but keeps on ticking.

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