Tuesday, January 20, 2009

A Change Has Finally Come

Tuesday is going to be a very big day. I am so psyched for it. Finally, I can have a sigh of relief. Finally, after so many years of struggling and fighting from generation to generation, I can truthfully say to the world that the pressure is finally off Blacks. That's right: No more Black Americans or African Americans. We are just Americans now. Some of you don't know how it feels to have that weight off our shoulders, but I can say that was like a forty pound harness for some of us.

I need to say at this point that I tried out that line at a get together with a social group called No Kidding earlier tonight. While the majority of the group, who were White and female laughed, there was one lone desenter who was a White male, who sat to my left and just happen to burst out right after the laughter, "Yeah, well what happens when Obama makes a mistake, huh? What happens when a white guy walks up to you and says, 'Well, you're Black. What about your President now?'"

The silence from the table could have filled the room. Of course, our boy just looked ridiculous when he tried to apologize by letting me know that he grew up around Blacks and that he always voted as a Democrat. I just looked at him from my left and looked at him like I was Whoopi on The View. There's always going to be one jackhole out there ready to try to ruin a good time. Not this time, you fat, loud balding ass.

Paul Mooney said once, "Everybody wants be Black, but ain't nobody wants to be Black". I'm sorry, but it is what it is. I mean, we cook great. We can dance up a storm. We do really well at some sports. We can look tough when we need to. I don't even want to get into the sex. But really, America. If we had any other choice, we'd be White because a lot of them are listed on The Forbes 500 List. From the way I see it, White guys have lots and lots of money. I'm not talking Oprah or Jay Z and Beyonce' or Denzel or Will Smith or even the new President money. I'm talking Bill Gates and Warren Buffet and T. Boone Pickens and even Paul McCartney money. See, Oprah is rich. Bill Gates is wealthy. Chris Rock once said in his act that if Bill Gates ever woke up with Oprah money, he's blow his head off.

What I'm saying is White people are loaded with money. Well for the first time ever, Black people are now on an even level with White people. We can be loaded now, too. In fact, for the first time ever, we can be anything we want to be. Finally. This is what Michelle Obama was trying to say before pundits tried to mow her down.

I called my Uncle Frank in Detroit on Sunday while watching the Inaugural Concert on HBO, which he was also seeing. I asked him did he ever think that he would be around to see such a moment like this in his lifetime. He answered," I''d never thought I'd make it to today and I'll pray for one more day to see tomorrow". I could have cried like a baby at that point when I heard that.

Tuesday is really going to be a great day for all America as a people. From this day forward, let's all be American, not a bunch of colors that are different from the crayon box. I mean really, White folks aren't even white. They're freaking pink. I'm not even Black I'm a nice shade of Bronze, if you think about it. It's kind of like George Hamilton and I could be related, sort of.

What I'm trying to say is now is the time so let's all work together as a group effort. The country's all screwed up and it's going to take all of us to fix it. I'm not saying let's hold hands in a really big circle and singing Kumbaya, though. As a Black person, we did it a few times in the Fifties and Sixties and I think we're all past that stage.


HouseT said...

I'm down with the message here. And as someone who has already fielded the "he's your president" line a few times (although I have to believe it was in jest), I can say that we still have a ways to go before we reach that "one country, one people" place.

But at least that place seems reachable from here. On the long highway, the "Miles until exit" signs are visible.

Anonymous said...

When you spend the morning in a room full of people of all shades, nationalities and genders--all crying with happiness--you know things are going to be better. I'll even take a "little better" over the recent past.