Sunday, March 29, 2009

Do Not Golytly Into The Night

NOTE: The following deals with the medical procedure known as colonoscopy, which is no joke. If you are over fifty and haven't had yours done, then see your doctor soon and set up an appointment. If I have to go through this now, then the rest of you had better get off your collective arses and do it, too. Hey, The Fonz got kids to read. I'm just doing my part.

So the one thing that I'm glad to have as I've mentioned before is time. On Friday, I was able to DJ a wedding reception before I did karaoke. Now I should say that I did the reception at the bar, to which I'd never done before. I also need to add that it was an open bar and bride and groom invited everyone that they knew to the party, giving the word to folks on Tuesday evening of that week, only one day that the groom was released from a stay at the Graybar Lodge for a DUI then got the great idea to get married. Of course the third layer of this wedding cake is that this is his third marriage. I think we call see with a huge spotlight and neon signs pointing out the obvious just how the whole thing turned out.

The cool deal is I got paid, so I'm not complaining. We also have a pool going to see how long relationship is gonna go down. I got six months and seventeen days.  I may as well use some of this guy's money to make more dough off of him.

Now today, after a wonderful day yesterday, including meeting up with my sister Terri, her mom and my two nephews A.J. and Randy, I'm having a a semi-Lazy Sunday. The "semi" meaning that I wil be busy today prepping for a "medical proceedure" on Monday. That's right, people: It's time for the Bi-Annual "Spring Cleaning" Event.

I've just bulldogged my first cold glass of Golytly, which is used to help facilitate the "proceedure" tomorrow for the doctor to do his thing. This will have been the third time that I've gone thru this and for the record, it truly blows. But you have to do what you need to do to get healthy. The part that stinks is that yuo have to guzzle down an entire gallon of crappy liquid and plan your day around going to the loo every few minutes. Thank Jeebus I live alone, otherwise I would have thrown everyone out of the apartment with threats of chaos and mayhem and other foul stuff. Really foul.

I should be okay as the doctor I have has done the same with me for over the past few years. I would guess that makes me faithful to the one man who has seen me at my most upfront and personal, so to speak. I've trusted Dr. Hathaway this far and he's taken care of my needs. I could go on and on with this scenario, but let's not really go there. Let's not get into any fan ficiton here. Although, he did give me flowers at my last follow up.

Kidding.

Well, I need to leave. I have to continue to drink every ten minutes until it's all gone. I cut it with Tang as I always do so I can at least feel as though I get something worthwhile out of the deal. Just remember that whatever happens that I love you all and I shall think of everyone emmensly as I take this trip into darkness. At least I think I changed the lights in the bathroom. I better check to see if the TV reaches into the water closet as well.

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