Sunday, March 29, 2009

Do Not Golytly Into The Night

NOTE: The following deals with the medical procedure known as colonoscopy, which is no joke. If you are over fifty and haven't had yours done, then see your doctor soon and set up an appointment. If I have to go through this now, then the rest of you had better get off your collective arses and do it, too. Hey, The Fonz got kids to read. I'm just doing my part.

So the one thing that I'm glad to have as I've mentioned before is time. On Friday, I was able to DJ a wedding reception before I did karaoke. Now I should say that I did the reception at the bar, to which I'd never done before. I also need to add that it was an open bar and bride and groom invited everyone that they knew to the party, giving the word to folks on Tuesday evening of that week, only one day that the groom was released from a stay at the Graybar Lodge for a DUI then got the great idea to get married. Of course the third layer of this wedding cake is that this is his third marriage. I think we call see with a huge spotlight and neon signs pointing out the obvious just how the whole thing turned out.

The cool deal is I got paid, so I'm not complaining. We also have a pool going to see how long relationship is gonna go down. I got six months and seventeen days.  I may as well use some of this guy's money to make more dough off of him.

Now today, after a wonderful day yesterday, including meeting up with my sister Terri, her mom and my two nephews A.J. and Randy, I'm having a a semi-Lazy Sunday. The "semi" meaning that I wil be busy today prepping for a "medical proceedure" on Monday. That's right, people: It's time for the Bi-Annual "Spring Cleaning" Event.

I've just bulldogged my first cold glass of Golytly, which is used to help facilitate the "proceedure" tomorrow for the doctor to do his thing. This will have been the third time that I've gone thru this and for the record, it truly blows. But you have to do what you need to do to get healthy. The part that stinks is that yuo have to guzzle down an entire gallon of crappy liquid and plan your day around going to the loo every few minutes. Thank Jeebus I live alone, otherwise I would have thrown everyone out of the apartment with threats of chaos and mayhem and other foul stuff. Really foul.

I should be okay as the doctor I have has done the same with me for over the past few years. I would guess that makes me faithful to the one man who has seen me at my most upfront and personal, so to speak. I've trusted Dr. Hathaway this far and he's taken care of my needs. I could go on and on with this scenario, but let's not really go there. Let's not get into any fan ficiton here. Although, he did give me flowers at my last follow up.

Kidding.

Well, I need to leave. I have to continue to drink every ten minutes until it's all gone. I cut it with Tang as I always do so I can at least feel as though I get something worthwhile out of the deal. Just remember that whatever happens that I love you all and I shall think of everyone emmensly as I take this trip into darkness. At least I think I changed the lights in the bathroom. I better check to see if the TV reaches into the water closet as well.

Friday, March 27, 2009

It Just Doesn't Matter

Now that I can sit for a good spell to do things important to me, such as breathe, I can now find out what's going on out there in the world. So far I'm gone to all the news sites t o check the day's headlines. We really did elect a Black president, USA Today says!. Wow, I am that far out of the loop.

"Octomom" has fourteen kids? Welcome to my family, America. By the way, the woman's lips look like she was in a disco and got into a fight with Denny Terrio. Yeah, I said it. That's not lipo, that like somebody shoved five piece cotton bedset inside of them.

 I don't think the headlines are what I want see at the moment. None of it matters to me at this point. I'm nmow glad that I can sit for a moment and now plan on how to spend my Sping Break before going back to class.  Looking at apartment right now, A good Swiffer of the flor sounds good. I have the Wet Jet so that way I don't have to sweep and mop. It's kind of like kiling two birds with one stone or just burning your house down so you don't have to clean it. Which I can't do here really because the place has four other families in it and it's made of brick.

The next thing to be done is get together some decent manuscripts for the book After the confidence of my wiritng courses I can sit down now and nitpick over what goes in, what gets edited and what stays out. For that matter, this post won't be going in and that's the truth. I need to get my sea legs back so for the next couple of days this place won't be pretty.

Skeaking of sea legs, I started out at the gym on Wednesday, just a few hours before the Big Test. What I thought would be just be meeting my trainer, Jess and a simple evaluation  of what I need to be working on turned into a full blown mini-workout. I stepped on an elliptical machine for the first time in five years and wound up giving Jess a ten minute rep, going backwards while in street clothes. Just for the record, you all will hear Jess name constantly here at the blog for near future. Although the gym and Jess' help is free thatnks to a health charity, it doesn't mean that I will not be cursing her name high above becasue my calves and thighs burn like a mother father. Oh yeah, I better look good and tone when it's done. "Feel the burn" of deez nuts.

Otherwise at this point, nothing else matters. I'm ready to face the day and get going in an all new mode: Me mode. I'm happy as I've ever been and feel as relaxed and energized to kick out the jams. It's time to step out of my apartment and face the day with the biggest smile I've had in a long time.

Then again, I think I better shave and put some pants on before I leave. I look like shite right now. Yeesh.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

In Our Last Episode...

Our hero, who would be me, had just parted ways with the only true love of his life, Radio, after she turned her back on him. Now with a new found freedom he hasn't felt since shaving his head with menthol shaving cream, he then embarked on a new adventure: Finishing a critial essay for his final writing class and completing his Winter quarter of his Sophomore year in college.

Well, they're all done as of today. I got to school two hours early to finish up any pargraphs I had to straighten out after two previous draft, including updating references. Aftwerwards, I then took my Compostition III final, in which I had two essays to write, long hand. In the e\n\d, I was tired, hungry and needed a Slushie. Yet, I stood my ground and the task was done. I had completed my Winter quarter.

I will tell you this little tidbit that will make you smile. I got to see my final grade for Comp III on Monday and for the record, if there was a letter higher than an A, I would have walked Hell and high water to get to that point if it meant I had to give it all up to graduate. And, I'd do it all over again.

Now excuse me. I need rest as I have a blog to catch up with.

Friday, March 20, 2009

I Am A Quitter

I'm sitting here in one of the classrooms here at South University today posting this with the laptop I use for my karaoke gig. It's nice to just sit back in the peace and quiet and write for me. I'm not surrounded at home by distractions like, say a television. Alhthough, now I will have more time to sit back in my busted recliner and catch up with the daily adventures of Victor Newman. Is that guy even still on the soaps?

At effectively 6:15 P.M. on Wednesday, March 18th, I gave electronic key and the finger to (and let's give it up for) the management at Cumulus Radio. It turns out that after so many years of learning how to maintain a steady workplace, some people didn't stick around for the class about how to communicate with employees. They decided to go to the snack bar for free donuts. Others decided to just eat all the donuts and screw the classes all together.

When you're faced with an economy where unenployment is at an all time low, there can be be some worry at the workplace when a person wonders if his or her job is in jeopardy. Will they be able to take care of their loved ones properly or could they lose it all and face the dark, cold world with nothing but the shirts on their backs and only their pride. Some seem not to care if it's the other guy who loses, so long as they can pay their bills and live the life that they're used to. This, to me feels to be the consperiacy theory that I came up with for the person or persons involved with me quitting.

Then again, what the Hell do I care? I'M FREE! NO MORE RADIO! WHEE!!!

Look, it's been twenty-five years of this. Of the groupies, the free swag, the parties, shaking hands with slimey record reps, getting the shaft from co-workers.

Noticed how it all went from good to bad over time.

I really did have a blast doing the thing I loved so much. I know folks who tried to set out to do the one thing they love only to see them putting it on the shelf so they can handle the bastards out in the real world, which is sush a shame. I got blessed by the age of sixteen to get out of my old man's evil shadow and take the microphone and I never looked back. I went from music format to music format over time and learned how to be the best broadcaster out there, working late nights, weekends, whatever. I went from meeting my college sweetheart to getting gypped into marrying her into finding out she was leaving me. From near death and back, I stuck to radio. And I wouldn't change one damn thing.

I met some incredible people along the way. Good, bad, and just plain ass. It changed the way that I will ever see life. Good times, people. Now, the party's over. Good night, Irene. Turn off the Ramones and power down the tower. It's time to end our broadcast.

As for what will I do now that I'm unemployed? Well, I have a paper that's due to Dr. Stanton in my Composition III class. I have a final to study for Torts and Reforms. I have an appointment to see my trainer at the gym next week for my Cardio so I can lose the weight so I can do a transplant soon. I have a life to live.

I also have a blog to keep up with and friends to hug. Those two things are the ones that I can finally look forward to in these new times.

Goodbye, you dark cloud of a radio company. I wish you success in the future, but I don't think you truly have "magic" I thought you once did back in the day.

Pray that I never get a phone call for what radio station I listen to. XM, just in case you wondered.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

THIS JUST IN....

As of twnety five years of the greatset time in my life I am no longer in radio. This means that I HAVE QUIT. To paraphrase myself "I really do have time and space now". But this time it is worth it.

As soon as I can get to a better PC you will hear my story. Just let me finish this college quarter this week.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Super Villain Bailout

Finals are looming and there's way too much crap going on for me to mention here. Don't believe me, then read last Monday's post (HouseT had the same thought at the same time and posted his version later. He has to be a Skrull. I just know it...). So, I'm gonna post this Funny Or Die clip featuring Mad Men's Jon Hamm as Lex Luthor looking for his own Government bailout. I don't really watch Mad Men, but I have seen Hamm on SNL and 30 Rock and thought he was a great comic actor. But in a bad bald cap, he still funny but not Lex. Maybe he'd be a better Man of Steel instead. Hmmmm...

Sunday, March 08, 2009

Well, did you watch "Watchmen"?

I did. I thought it was just like the book. Thank God I don't have working kidneys so I could see almost all three hours of it.

Wasn't life easy when you were fourteen?

Do you know why this guy is looking to the side? Because although he thinks things are gonna be too cool for high school now, what he don't know is that things are gonna get screwy quicker than he thinks when he gets older. Look out there, bub. People are jackholes, coffee is actually good, go to New York before they talk you out of it and don't let the bullcrap and your old man get to you. Oh, I almost forgot: DON'T MARRY YOUR COLLEGE SWEETHEART. SHE CHEATS ON YOU WITH A GUY NAMED HENRY ONE YEAR AFTER YOU MEET HER.

Monday, March 02, 2009

My Secret Life

When you write something like a blog that can be read by MILLIONS (that's Wally Millions, my shoe cobbler), folks expect you to talk about the things that happen in your day to day world, from the time you wake up to the time you head off to sleep. It you are that kind of blogger who talks about the mundane or you're the one who craves mundane lives then bless you, my child. I can't deal with that stuff. I want to hear more about the more juicy stuff. People don't pick up the National Enquirer to hear about how Lindsey Lohan ate a peanut butter sandwich or the day that Jessica Simpson shopped at the pharmacy. Actually, people do and those people are nuts, so let's forget that example.

Folks who have come to read the RSJS over time have known for me to be an open book. I've talked about everything from my childhood to my horrible dating life to my kidney failure to my joy of a good slushie. I truly have nothing to hide from. I do my taxes, I've never abused drugs, and once a year I drop something in the bucket for the Salvation Army. I stay as honest and as true to this site as much as I can and I think that there are folks who can appreciate that.

There are there things however in my life that I don't wish to talk about. Yes, I have my little "skeletons" laying in a deep, dark grave that I never talk about here or publicly because I don't wish to bring them up. Trust me, everyone has some kind of bad or strange thing that they don't wish to bring up at all. Eddie Murphy said it best in his stand up flick, Raw: Sometimes, a bone could fly out of your mouth.

Then again, there's the good things that I don't talk about here as well. It's not as if I should bring those up, but sometimes I feel as though I've done my good deed for the day and there's no need to bring it up. All I can say is that I'm a nice guy, I'm kind to dogs and I guess I'm the most optimistic, sometimes most naieve (to a fault) person I know. Karma knows me better than Earl Hickey, or at least I hope she does.

Lastly, there's the problem of time, as in trying to find the time to post something important. Last Friday, I had the opportunity to be a part of South University's Black History Month celebration by doing a reading of Bill Cosby's classic "Chocolate Cake" bit from Bill Cosby: Himself. Most would scratch their heads in wonder why anyone would even take the chance of doing a comedy bit for Black History Month,l but I thought it would lighten things just a bit. The folks who were there thought it was perfect and laughed all the way through. I really would have mentioned it here earlier, but the constraint of life held me back from bringing it up. Also, I'd forgotten to bring it up because I was busy doing something else. To Dr. H., I'm sorry I didn't say it sooner and I'll try not to do that again if I'm ever doing a public event.

The thing about secrets is you can keep them to yourself until the day you die or if it's just too much to keep to yourself, you can share them people you trust. I've been writing now for over five years, so I guess that I must be comfortable enough to put my world out there for everyone to see. Let's just keep today's entry between us pals and if you tell anyone I said so, I'll throttle you.

Today's post is dedicated to Mr. Paul Harvey, the greatest radio newsman ever. Good Day!