The Real Sam Johnson Show

Dear Miley Cyrus...

2009-04-09T21:38:00.001-05:00

Welcome to Savannah, Georgia. Let me introduce myself. My name is Sam Johnson, a lifelong citizen here in what we call The Coastal Empire. We're pretty happy here in our little city and think it's wonderful here. We welcome all who come here with iopen arms and hope they have a wonderful time as they visit. All of that being said, let me cut to the point of this welcome.You and your Hollywood

How To Make Any Website Better (including this one)

2009-04-05T12:46:00.000-05:00

Just add bacon. Yep, like this, or this or this. Remember the two things Uncle Sam has taught you in life: Bacon goes with everything and monkeys are funny. I wonder if they go good with bacon? Maybe not.

"99 and a half won't do..."

2009-04-05T12:23:00.000-05:00

A couple of years ago, the Savannah Morning News printed they thought should be the 99 rules for living in Savannah. Now, while I thought that it was right on the button and written well by the late Gene Downs, I also felt that somethings were missing and so I came up with some addendums for the list right afterward. This morning, I had breakfast with a friend of mine named Kellyn at Cleary's on

Some Like It Hot

2009-04-01T19:16:00.000-05:00

Here's something I'll bet you never thought about: Is the way you like yuour chili the way yuo live your life? No, this is not an April Fool's Joke.I may go off on a rant about some crackpot ideas, but this one is a good one. I promise. I was talking to a friend on the phone yesterday when I told her that I was planning on making a bowl of ol' Texas Red the way I like it. So I made mention that

Do Not Golytly Into The Night

2009-03-29T13:01:00.000-05:00

NOTE: The following deals with the medical procedure known as colonoscopy, which is no joke. If you are over fifty and haven't had yours done, then see your doctor soon and set up an appointment. If I have to go through this now, then the rest of you had better get off your collective arses and do it, too. Hey, The Fonz got kids to read. I'm just doing my part. So the one thing that I'm glad to

It Just Doesn't Matter

2009-03-27T09:52:00.000-05:00

Now that I can sit for a good spell to do things important to me, such as breathe, I can now find out what's going on out there in the world. So far I'm gone to all the news sites t o check the day's headlines. We really did elect a Black president, USA Today says!. Wow, I am that far out of the loop. "Octomom" has fourteen kids? Welcome to my family, America. By the way, the woman's lips look

In Our Last Episode...

2009-03-25T23:04:00.000-05:00

Our hero, who would be me, had just parted ways with the only true love of his life, Radio, after she turned her back on him. Now with a new found freedom he hasn't felt since shaving his head with menthol shaving cream, he then embarked on a new adventure: Finishing a critial essay for his final writing class and completing his Winter quarter of his Sophomore year in college. Well, they're all

I Am A Quitter

2009-03-20T14:14:00.000-05:00

I'm sitting here in one of the classrooms here at South University today posting this with the laptop I use for my karaoke gig. It's nice to just sit back in the peace and quiet and write for me. I'm not surrounded at home by distractions like, say a television. Alhthough, now I will have more time to sit back in my busted recliner and catch up with the daily adventures of Victor Newman. Is that

THIS JUST IN....

2009-03-18T22:44:00.001-05:00

As of twnety five years of the greatset time in my life I am no longer in radio. This means that I HAVE QUIT. To paraphrase myself "I really do have time and space now". But this time it is worth it. As soon as I can get to a better PC you will hear my story. Just let me finish this college quarter this week.

Super Villain Bailout

2009-03-11T15:54:00.000-05:00

Finals are looming and there's way too much crap going on for me to mention here. Don't believe me, then read last Monday's post (HouseT had the same thought at the same time and posted his version later. He has to be a Skrull. I just know it...). So, I'm gonna post this Funny Or Die clip featuring Mad Men's Jon Hamm as Lex Luthor looking for his own Government bailout. I don't really watch Mad

Well, did you watch "Watchmen"?

2009-03-08T18:50:00.000-05:00

I did. I thought it was just like the book. Thank God I don't have working kidneys so I could see almost all three hours of it.

Wasn't life easy when you were fourteen?

2009-03-08T18:41:00.000-05:00

Do you know why this guy is looking to the side? Because although he thinks things are gonna be too cool for high school now, what he don't know is that things are gonna get screwy quicker than he thinks when he gets older. Look out there, bub. People are jackholes, coffee is actually good, go to New York before they talk you out of it and don't let the bullcrap and your old man get to you. Oh, I

My Secret Life

2009-03-02T18:04:00.001-05:00

When you write something like a blog that can be read by MILLIONS (that's Wally Millions, my shoe cobbler), folks expect you to talk about the things that happen in your day to day world, from the time you wake up to the time you head off to sleep. It you are that kind of blogger who talks about the mundane or you're the one who craves mundane lives then bless you, my child. I can't deal with

Fifty Reason Why I Joined A Gym

2009-02-27T17:07:00.000-05:00

I had to walk to work on Monday, thanks to the car having problems. It was only ten minutes away, but it was enough to get me worn out and ragged as all get out, not to mention I had a backpack on with class books inside. If I had to walk on a regular basis, like as a mailman, I wouldn't move less than three feet. I'm "chubby", I'm "big boned", I'm "husky". I AM FAT. And I am done with it. On

An open letter to Thomas "HouseT" Houston....

2009-02-24T16:08:00.000-05:00

HA! Guess what I just got? The new Lonley Island CD! "Incredibad" is the shiznit! Dude, it's sick! You need to piock this up! Daaaaamn! Hit a brotha up for "Watchmen". Because I know you are goin'...

Post Oscars Blah Blah

2009-02-23T12:49:00.001-05:00

Yeah, I watched it. I watched it more than I watched any of the Best Picture nominees. In fact, I don't want to hear about Slumdog Millionaire again until it comes to HBO. It may be a great movie and all, with the dancing and the music at the end, but I am over it. Really. Empassioned speech from the guy who won for sound editing, yes wonderful. But I have no need to rush out now that it's won

I'd Like To Thank The Academy....

2009-02-22T18:36:00.000-05:00

I'm at home today and I'm writing this. Can you believe it? Neither can I. I got a hold of a free signal, fired up the old laptop, threw in a new keyboard and boom goes the dynamite. I also can't believe that I am at home right now, really. My feet hurt, I'm worn out from the week and did I mention that I was tired as Hell? No, I guess I didn't. My bad At least I can sit down in the recliner and

Today Was The Bestest Day Ever

2009-02-20T12:16:00.000-05:00

Don't you wish this was everyday?

One Ain't Gonna Stop One Show

2009-02-18T19:53:00.000-05:00

Introducing a new label here which I call "Hot Mess". 'Cause this one is definitely one. Yesterday, I posted a You Tube clip about President Obama that I don't think anyone would find offensive, but there is a difference today. This morning , The New York Post published the cartoon above featuring a dead chimpanzee and two policemen hovering over it, with one saying, "They'll have to find

Obama's Elf

2009-02-17T22:52:00.000-05:00

I got my busted up old laptop to kind of sort of work this evening, which makes me feel good. Too bad I can't think too much funny tonight. I did find this little piece and I can officially say that we have found our first Barack Obama joke EVER. The problem is, you'll be sick of it in a week and remember,I supported the man since 2004 so I don't want to hear any of you telling me that this is

Real Love

2009-02-16T12:02:00.001-05:00