Wednesday, December 24, 2003

My Gift To You

Hi There.

I know it seems a little impersonal doing this, but I am giving everyone a special card this year. If I had the money, as stated in the post below, I would have sent cards out, but couldn't. I do this with all the love affection I have for all of those who have supported me this year and for those who've actually kept up with The Real Show and The Pop Shop over the past few months and who've had to put up with the lateness. I hope this year was a special one for you and the next one gives you peace, joy and prosperity. May your days be merry and bright and may all your Christmases, Hanukkas, Kwanzas, Ramadan, and even Festivus, which I celebrated yesterday are...Well,pretty good. I love you all. Signed, Sam.

Now, here's your card.

Saturday, December 20, 2003

Merry Crimble To You...

Let me say first of all, I like the internet now that I have a cable modem. It gets me where I need to go with no hassle. However I had a problem with Comcast a few days ago when switching the name on the account from my landmonkey to mine. It turns out that they had given me the wrong address, so I was off the web for a few till I could get to them. Before that, I was supposed to be here to update folks on what was going on with me, but Blogger was down. Excuses,excuses.

Well, I'm ok now and posting. It just seems I never have the time anymore. Yes, you have every right to be upset with me for this. But with dialysis these days and its complications, it's not that easy for me as I'd like. I'm messing up on a lot of things personally and not really concentrating on my health like I should. I'm doing the best that I can however and that's all I can ask for the holidays.

Speaking of which, what are my plans? Just relax is all. I don't have the money for gifts, let alone stamps and cards. In other words, if you don't get anything from me, then read this post. I have a couple of parties that I'm going to, but other than that, I plan on just visiting a couple of friends that day and seeing about having a small dinner for X-Mas. Now for my friends who are out there, if you really want to get me a present this season, I suggest you say a little prayer for me that things are gonna get better. Sure it ain't fruitcake, but it works for me.

Thursday, December 04, 2003

New Post at the Pop Shop...

I think you should check it out. I have time this weekend, so I'll have some new post on both pages. Until then, stop by the shop.

Friday, November 28, 2003

Jive Turkey

Thankgiving is supposed tobe a day when folks get together and eat like the capitalist they're born to be. I, however, felt like a Cambodian.Everyone sat there and pigged out on what was a great looking bird, with all the sides. I couldn't chew one drop without feeling cramps in my stomach. SO, I did without. My appetite is coming back, but I stil feel pain. Probably, by the end of the weekend it should be over. If you have any leftovers, please feel free to stop them by the house. Thanks.

Thursday, November 27, 2003

IT'S A MIRACLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I do Belive there's a GOD. Otherwise, I don't think the Big Guy/Gal would have wanted me to stay home this turkey day. I'm off to get stuffed!!!!!!!

Wednesday, November 26, 2003

Gobble Gobble, Ya'll

Thanksgiving is almost a few hours aqay, and I may not be abler to celebrate this year. It seems after having emergency surgury on my arm to rid a blod clot, something else has popped up. I now have what I think os a stomach virus that has me down. I can't seem to kep anything down with out me getting sick, and having this the day before Tanksgiving is the WORST PUNISHMENT an Amercian could ever have. So, I'm now going to lay down for a moment and not get sick just so I can try and get some cranberry sauce tomorrow. Pray I get some white meat, please.

Saturday, November 22, 2003

Allegedly Smooth Criminal

I've got a little thing on the Pop Shop about Micheal Jackson. Hey, if it gets me on Google, then I'm made. This way, my fame will give me an excuse of why I don't post so much these days. I will say that Mike is head over heels in deep with this thing and it saddens me that this is what happens to a man who has it all. Maybe I should forget about wanting to be on Google after this.

Whether the man is guilty or not is to be seen in the next few weeks and it's not of us as the public to judge. Hopefully, this isn't a witchhunt, or as his brother Jermaine has said, " A lynching". It's up to the Santa Barbara Police to investigate this compleatly and honestly. We shall see. Until then, watch this and remember how good the guy was.

Sunday, November 09, 2003

Pronounced "Whose-its"

It's been a wild week. My car has been down for a bit after the clutch died from leaving my freinds Bob and Lynn's wedding on HALLOWEEN. Don't ask. I'm just happy that they're together. THe Big Show has been well recieved and I hope I can hold it over for awhile. It's even gotten a mention in our local weekly, Connect Savannah. But the biggest news is I have a cat. A kitten to be precice.

A few weeks ago, I got a phone call from the previously mentioned Bob. He and Lynn's cat (one of too damn many) had just given birth and needed room. His first full sentence to me after "Hi, Sam" was "Hey, I got a cat for you. His name is Whoozitz. Now, he has always known that I've always wanted a dog, and that I would always call him Whoozitz. Well, the mook beat me to it and made him a kitten. He brought him to me a few days later and the cat has been...well, interesting. As of now, he's twelve weeks old and full of energy. He's also full of claws and teeth, as my arms and fingers can show. The roomate has been cool with him and my landmonkey has no choice in the matter, as long as he doesn't eat the furniture. So, I finally have a pet. I just wish I had more bandages and cat nip to keep the old boy calm.

Tuesday, October 28, 2003

Catching Up

Well, I've got a few moments, so I thought I'd try and get a couple of things down on the blogs. I feel bad because I've wanted to get both working. No such luck. Who knows what will happen with Pop Shop, which is a damn shame to set it up and not get much in.

As for me personally, things are great. I'm working and getting bills caught up. I've decided it's also time to move from the house I'm in now and try to get a house of my own. Hell, I'm 37 and deserve it. I'm not sure if I can do it, but I'm going to try to afford it. As for my illness, I have the good and bad days and do my best to try and make it through. Dating wise, Yeah, me and Mo are still trying to make things work. It isn't easy. We talked about it today and I told her that I want to spend more time with her other than being in the bar and she understood it, as she wants the same too. Let's hope that happens soon. Other than that, I want to go to Universal Islands of Adventure before the year is out and am seeking donations to get me there. Hey, it's my Christmas wish.

Thursday, October 23, 2003

A Letter To My Mom


It's about 3:56 am as I'm writing this, as I'm just getting in from the Mercury Lounge after doing a show. Did you and Dad come by Wet Willie's over the weekend? I hope it was you, after the note I got.

I hope you don't mind that I'm writing this, as it's going to turn out to be nothing but another rant letter. The show turned out ok. But, as I got home it was another matter all together.

My landlady has been ok to me up until I started dialysis. I explained to her that things wouldn't be the same for a long time for me physically and that I'd have to cut back on working at Wet Willie's and the Comic Box. With three full days out of the week to go to therapy, I wouldn't be working much any my not be able to pay rent on time. Since then, she's been hounding me since June to make sure I get money to pay her.

Around the first week of October, Wet Willie's participated on Octoberfest on River Street, which meant the bar would be busy. Too busy to even need a DJ, so they asked me to take the weekend off. That meant I wasn't going to get paid for the time off, and I would be behind on my rent, which I pay biweekly. I explained to my landlady, but she try not to let it happen too much.

On Saturday, I had to go to the hospital after having both legs cramp, due to having too much fluid being taken off during dialysis. I was in complete pain as I sat in the E.R., when the phone rang. It was her, wanting to know about rent. I told her now was not the time to talk about it and that she should talk to me when I felt a bit better. I then hung up the phone and just wanted to cry, like now.

Tonight was the first night of my new show at Mercury Lounge. I know I don't need to work due to what's going on with me, but I have to try and keep up with my bills. I'm doing my best to try to have enough money to get a place of my own, but it's been hard with all that has happened to me as of recent. All the work I've done however has just been enough to pay her and try to eat and get my medicine. However, as soon as I came home just an hour before I started writing this, I see my landlady sitting on the couch waiting for her money. I told her that I had just gotten my check from Wet Willie's and that I needed to cash it. If she would let me go to bed and not bother me about it then, she would get her money in the morning. She just kept talking and saying I needed to pay her, because she has bills to pay. So, I just signed my entire check over to her and told her to leave me alone and go home.

The short of it is and I'm sorry if I'm just going on and on is I can't take any of this anymore. I'm tired of dealing with being sick, I'm tired of not being able to work like I should, and I'm tired of my landlady. The whole thing is driving me nuts. I'm not sure how much of this I can take. I'm tired of being alone. It feels like there's noone there whenever I come home, and that I'm just spitting in the wind. I'm going to try and see if I can try and move somewhere else, if anyone would be willing to take me in. Although, I doubt it, as I have a few friends, they would be willing to help. But, I'm going to try.

You know, it's funny. It's almost 21 years since I lost my own Mom to cancer. I'm glad I have someone to call Mom when it feels this bad. I just wish this was all over and I could make you both proud of me. After this, I don't know if I'll even be able to make it to the wedding, but I'll try my hardest. Please give my best to Dad and tell Bob I'll do what I can to be there. I love you all and thanks for letting me go on and on. like this. I had to talk before I started to cry and writing is the only way these days to do it. I've tried to cry with all that's happened to me over the past few months, but I can't. I know this is going to sound strange, but when I'm alone, I just stare into space and just wonder and ask God, " Why me and now?" Maybe I'm just too tired to fight to cry now.

Love you,


Wednesday, October 22, 2003

The BIg Show Is NOW!

The Big Show Is NOW!

In just a few moments, I have to go take a shower and get dressed for the first Big Show at the Mercury Lounge. I've never done a program quite like this before, what with music, kareoke, live musicians, weird acts and more. I am frankly, scared crapless. I hope that the show goes well...not perfect, but well. If it does, then we can keep it going for another week. Everyone has told me I've done it before...on radio, televsion, even during the times I've done stand up. But never, never, has it been on this type of scope. The short of it is, I want this to work so I can get PAID. There, I said it. I need the money, and if this fails, I'm going to sit in the corner with a bucket of ice cream for the whole weekend. Well, wish me luck!!!!

Tuesday, October 21, 2003

OW, OW, OW...

I went to a seminar last week for kidney transplants. It went well, as it would gete me prepared for the financial out come of all of this. I found out that it would cost me over 100,000 dollars to get this done. Fortunatly, the organization that hosted the forum, The Georgia Transplant Foundation, would be able to help with financial aid and other things. At this point, any help would be good. The sad part of it is, I'll have to drive upstate on a few weeks to a physical to see of my body is up to the transplant. I'm telling you, this is costing me loads to get done. It's not like I'm gatting a face lift or anything, but who knew that it would cost me more money than I've made in, well, forever, to get a new body part? Anyone wanna pony up some bucks to make sure I still work on the two blogs now?

Thursday, October 16, 2003

Good News

Hi there. I've benn kind of busy this week, what with getting The Big Show started at The Mercury Lounge next week and getting back together with a woman who I won't name (heh-heh-heh). But, the best news is that I went to a transplant seminar on Wedensday, and will hopefully go to an evaluation soon in Augusta, Georgia to see about getting myself on the list to get a transplant. It's the first step in getting better and I hope it works out in the long run.

It interestig about blogs, I guess. When you feel like crap and want to talk, you have to post. But, things have been ok the past few days, and I really haven't anything to rant about. I'm very glad that I'm getting to see a silver lining for once. I hope all of you get the chance to see yours soon.

Sunday, October 12, 2003

A Change Has Come...

It's time for a milestone folks. I've been working on this thing for the past few months and had a great time working on my own web page. But, the past few weeks, I've been having problems with the way the post have been linked. I've been having major template issues that have been driving me nuts. I've even gone to Blogger with my problem, with no luck so far. So I have decided...I've created a new blog called Sam's Pop Shop, which will focus mainly on all media and other things of interest. while this page will look at more personal items. I'll reference each page if there's some of interest that might perk you up. I'll also add older posts from this page to the new one if you missed it the first time. I 've even made it easier to get to with the address . Next year, I plan to add photos, audio and more to really make the Pop Shop look good. So. for those of you waiting for more internet fun, then this is for you. Thanks for your patience.

One more thing before I set up the new page. Beginning October 22, I'm hosting a new show at The Mercury Lounge here in Savannah, Georgia called the Mercury Lounge Big Show. It's a sort of freaked out version of The Gong Show, if there was booze involved and American Idol, if Simon was the only judge. We're looking for all types of acts to be involved, good and bad. All I ask is that you show up between 10 pm and 1 am and bring your humilty. It's no cover and it's a cheap date if you do it right. Ok...I'm going to work. I'll see you at the other site and keep watching this one for more.

Wednesday, October 08, 2003

It's Blogger's Fault This Time

I haven't been able to post in awhile, due to some problems that Blogger was having. I've got a lot of things I have to talk about. The California Recall, some new sites, cartoons, and whatnot. But I don't have time today. Plus, I have some upcoming news on a new live show that I 'm working on. I'll have something for you on Thursday. See you then!

Thursday, October 02, 2003

Time Capsule

Once again, Dave Hewitt has sent me a letter. I haven't gotten ONE FRICKIN' letter from anyone else about the blog from anyone except Dave. Here I am, asking for suggestions, and no one says anything, EXCEPT DAVE. Shame...Shame on the lot of you. I'll bet Harry Knowles or Matt Drudge never go thru this.


I'm making a time capsule for my 18 month old son. Any suggestions on some

pop culture items to add? I've already bought the Batman issue you raved about, and I have a couple of football cards (Jeremy Shockey and David Carr).



So, then I said...

"Hi, Dave...

I think that's a great idea your doing for your son. I hope to have kids one day to do something like that. One thing I can suggest is maybe a picture of him and the family with messages that's only in the capsule and not seen until it's open. As for other items, how about a CD with music from the year he was born, a toy like maybe a G.I. Joe, and a book detailing the last century. I hear has a great line of books for young adults. Mind you , I don't know when the capsule will be open, but it will give him the sense of what came before him and what he should look for in the future. Good luck on getting it together. Let me know how it goes."

If you've got kids, you should try that out. And, if you have the time, SEND A BROTHER AN EMAIL TO LET HIM KNOW WHAT YOU THINK OF THE SITE. It's, or use the Squawkbox, if it's working. Thank you.

No Need To Rush

By the time most of you read this, Rush Limbaugh has returned to the radio, defending what he said on ESPN about Donovan McNabb. Limbaugh stated on the Sunday NFL Countdown, quote, "The media has been very desirous that a Black quarterback do well. "There is a little hope invested in McNabb and he got a lot of credit for the performance of this team that he didn't deserve."

Limbaugh on Wednesday night resigned from his gig at the sports network, feeling the pressure from the cable group and from others from not just the media, but the NAACP and even Democratic candidates for president.

I've listened to Rush's radio program. Actually, I don't have a choice sometimes. The guys at the Comic Box are Republican, while I am an Independent. There are things that Rush has said that I think make some since, but there are others that don't sit right with me. Plus, being from radio, you have to be entertaining and keep your listeners glued to you. This is why Limbaugh is so popular. Yes, the man is there to shock you with what he sees as the truth and folks follow him immensely. He does what he has to do to get rating. However, there are some things you just can't do, on radio and on TV. His statement on Donovan McNabb was, in my opinion, DUMB. it harks back to Al Campanis on Nightline saying that Blacks don't have the mental capacity to be general managers of baseball teams, or Jimmy The Greek saying that blacks are born to run because we are breeded that way. ESPN knew the controversy when they hired Limbaugh, but when they got him, they didn't think it would wind up like this.

There are still things you can't say in public without a firestorm of media behind you. And with the world even closer together now with the web, what you say or do can backfire on you. Limbaugh however still has his supporters on the radio, and will no doubt continue to have his listeners tune in. But now, he will have more enemies due to his actions.

Postscript 1: When Donovan McNabb heard about what Rush said, McNabb felt that it was done, and he wasn't going to take it personally. He did however feel badly for the other black players int he NFL and ones trying to get to the league. McNabb then got on Philadelphia Eagles field and won the game, thereby rebuking Rush's point

Postscript 2: Rush Limbaugh is now under a criminal investigation for illegal drugs, just three days after his statement. The media has been looking for things to get Limbaughand now they have two. No matter the man, how the media will respond this will be interesting to watch.

Wednesday, October 01, 2003

We Are But Men...ROCK!!!

Jack Black is starring in the new comedy, "School Of Rock", opening this week. But, You ordinary folks should know that Jack is a part of what could be The GREATEST ROCK BAND OF ALL TIME: Tenacious D. That's D. Da D. Deezy Fo' Sheazy. The Micky-Ficky D. Oh, You don't really know about Jack and his partner, Kyle Gass? What is wrong with you ? Are you listening to Creed or something? Look and fall in love with Jack and Kyle and see why, all over the world, Teancious D are loved by all of humanity and chicks. Chicks dig The D.

I need to get out more....

Ok...I think I'm on a geek roll here, what with going on about Tenacious D and Mr. Microphone, but I think I may have trumped myself with this one. I found the site for a very cool movie coming out in limited areas. Hopefully, it will be out on DVD soon. The film is called "The Lost Skeleton Of Cadavra". It was done in less than ten days with a budget less than what catering gets to serve lunch on a B-movie in Canada. The premise of the film is based on those fifties horror films with bad dialog. Think "Robot Monster" or " Plan 9 From Outer Space". But, this new film was meant to be funny.

Actual line from the film: "Betty, you know what this meant to science. This could mean actual advances in science." No joke.

It's filmed in Skeletorama, it had a battle between a monster straight out of Sid and Marty Croft, a Plastic Skeleton as the antagonist and I hear it has a cartoon in the front of it. As the tagline goes, " You will be STERILIZED with fear! It's another SCREAM GEM from the folks that gave you 'Zombies OF Mora Tau' and 'Lawrence Of Arabia'! " Are you gonna argue with that?

Tuesday, September 30, 2003

Darn You, Ronco!!!

Sure you know all about the Rotissery oven that's been selling all over the TV, but how many remember that Ron Popeil used to seel loads of products on TV? The Pocket Fisherman, the Bedazzeler, and of course, Mr. Microphone? Yes, I found it for you.

Sunday, September 28, 2003

This Terry's World, Fool...WOOOO!

One of the best TV commercial campaigns of the year was from Reebok with it's spokesperson, Terry Tate, Office Linebacker. I'm so glad that OSHA is still working after seeing these ads.

Saturday, September 27, 2003

Could Orson Wells Play Batman?

If I'm going to take time off from the blog for a few days I 'd better come back with something mind blowing....

Mark Millar, one of comic's best writers, has found out that Orson Wells had a proposal for Batman back in 1946. Reading over the piece, I could see it,, with Wells who was a master at using the camera to trick the audience and to convey a perfect mood, to possibly blow away the theater with what could have been one of the greatest action dramas of all time. Wells had already gotten commitments from some of the greatest actors of the time to portray the villains, which if you thought the casting in the 1960's Batman show was perfect, and Tim Burton's casting of Nicholson and DeVito in his two Batfilms were on point, what till you see who Wells had as The Joker, Riddler, Two Face and Catwoman. Plus see who the studio wanted as Batman. Trust me...This will slap you in the face and own you for the entire day

Thursday, September 25, 2003


One of the regular customers of the Comic Box is a guy named Philip Schweier. Nice guy. He's a big pop culture fan like I am and has been doing a lot of writing for some web sites for a while, including a semi regular piece for Comic Book Bin. He's just written a piece for TV Party about the history of one of the coolest shows of the Seventies: Battlestar Galactica.

Now, as a fan of the show myself, I was interested to read this. I mean, Freakin' Dirk Benedick as Starbuck! Yes, he was a poor man's Han Solo, but he worked in the role. Plus, I had a Cylon Warrior action figure as a kid which I'd pit against my Big Jim and Spider-Man toys. Yes, I am a geek.

The Sci Fi Channel is bringing the show back with a new look and cast later this year. I don't really plan on watching it, as it won't be the same as the original. Just the same as when they changed Coke in the 80's. I did have the curiosity about New Coke then, and I may have feel the same for this new show. But I know it will never be the same.

Sunday, September 21, 2003

Does The Name Amos and Andy Ring A Bell?

As a continuance of my previous post to Blacks in 1950's era Television, I now present this piece on Amos and Andy. Say what you will about it, but in my personal opinion, it was one of the funniest shows that hit the radio airwaves. I never really saw the TV version with its All Black cast, including Black Film Maverick Spencer Williams, Jr as Andy, everything I've heard about the show was no worse than watching some of the programs they pass as Black entertainment on UPN. Mind you, both shows were created by White Americans to entertain, like most shows today. However, the radio version was done with a mostly White cast portraying the lead roles. Still, both shows were funny and by the he time the TV version came around, Blacks after World War Two were going through social changes and things needed to progress. Take a look.


These are things I was thinking about...

DEPRESSING: Your date to the Prom was your aunt...And she's mad cause you wouldn't put out

DEPRESSING: the only folks to talk to you are mutes.

DEPRESSING: You almost married J-Lo.

DEPRESSING: You hamster has just hung itself.

DEPRESSING: You accidently get featured in Hustler after the security camera gets a shot of you in the dressing room of K-Mart.

DEPRESSING: Your Aunt was really your Uncle...After an operation.

DEPRESSING, and sick: You find out that the lady next door to you has a crush on you....And she's only 87.

DEPRESSING: You win the 10 Million Dollar Lotterey...In Iraqi money.

DEPRESSING: Getting kicked out of the Fruit Of the Month Club.

DEPRESSING: You French Kiss your blind date good nigth...And she gets a boner.

DEPRESSING: You get helped across the street by the Boy Scouts...And you just turned 24.

So, quit yer whining!!!!

By the is Copywritten stuff...don't steal it.

Saturday, September 20, 2003

Be A Man, Ben!!!

I have been told by the Internet Assosiation of America that I have to post at least one Bennifer story, or have the blog yanked. It turns out that Ben has an estate here in Savannah and that he and J-Butt are going to have a summit to see if it's really worth it. I happen to think Jennifer is a very attractive woman. However, it ain't worht it, Ben. WALK AWAY!!!!! "Gigli" had nothing to do with it. RUN!!!! She's a diva!!! If I see Ben walking around downtown, mumbling to himself, he and I are going to have a long talk. Mind you, we are still TOOLS, Ben doesn't need that kind of crap. This is Ben Affleck of "Phantoms", for the love of God. You make the call by reading this .

Oh, Davey...

Hey, Kids! Remember Davey and Goliath? You know, the clay boy and his talking dog that always preached morality tales? Well, they're back. Check this out...

Thursday, September 18, 2003

Just Plain Wrong

My Pal, Bob Ruggerio, just sent me a link for what could be the worst gift of the year. A portrait of you with aging Wiccan, Stevie Nicks. Now, if you liked her then, you love it when someone paints a portrait of you taken from a bad picture someone took of you while you where in the bathroom while Ms. Nicks looks on. Too bad I couodn't think of any of her songs to wrap this piece of. Any ideas, guys? I'll even take a Fleetwood Mac song.

Wednesday, September 17, 2003

I'm Still A Tool

Ok...last night was the Rantings of an angry man. I had to delete some of last night's post. But, you understand, what would you have said if you were me? I mean, who goes out and buys mint and grape tomatoes unless oyu really care to put that in a meal for someone you really care about? If you're an ordinary guy like I am, then you probaly don't.

I wound up calling her twice today, and we talked for a while both times. She was apologetic and I understood. I won't go into details about he conversation, but things are ok now. So, yes...I'm a tool. When you like someone as much as I do, I guess you'll take the tool role and and just say to yourself, "That what happens in a new relationship. Sometimes, you take the good with the bad." And, for those of you who were shocked from my outbusrt, I apologize to you. But, I bet you've always wanted oyu let it out like that, didn't you?


I am going to rant right about now, because I've been used as a TOOL.

I was supposed to have a dinner date with Mo tonight. A surprize dinner that I made. Salmon with Mint and Grape Tomatoes, Cous Cous, and Green Beans, blanched in chicken broth. We talked about it on Saturday, and I told her I'll make sure Monday to see if things were cool for dinner. This was to be a thnks you dinner for being there when I needed her.

Well, due to me writing this, you know what happened. SHe never called. She never showed up.

Tuesday, September 16, 2003

Black & White TV in the Fifties

Well, after first writhing about television when I started this blog, I think I finally found something worth while, other than a puff piece for a bad show. It's an interesting piece on Blacks in entertainment from the 20's the 50's from TV Party, centering on the female actresses (and ACTOR) who portrayed a maid named Beulah and her many radio and television programs. A very wonderful commentary on race and it's impact.

Sunday, September 14, 2003

The Coolest Video Of The Year!

I've been looking for this story ever since I saw it on the Late Late Show With Craig Kilborn. Mind you, I liked the Star Wars Kid, but this is the one for the books. So, Bear + Trampoline = Funny Stuff

Saving For A Rainy Day

I got a letter from Dave Hewitt a few days ago. I'd wanted to put it up sooner, but I held on to it for a few days, waiting for the right time to use it here.

"Here's a site for you. My friend is a comic book (and starving) artist. He put together a comic of his pictures and called it 'Wang Dang Doodle'. "

Well, I checked the site out, and Dave's freind, Rich Dannys, is a great artist. The cover alone is wonderful and reminds me of the poster art for the burlesque shows of the 40's and 50's. Some of the other art in the book is wonderful as well. I'm not an artist, but I know what I like and this guy's pretty good. Thanks for the hookup, Dave. If there's any sites you want to pass along to other folks who read this site, email me at We love to hear from you.

Friday, September 12, 2003

Two Good Men Are Gone...

Music has lost the Original Man In Black, Johnny Cash. Meanwhile, John Ritter dies unexpectedly on the set of his new show of an undisclosed heart condition. Well, those just screwed up my day.

When Babies Attack

From CBS News, a two year old baby drove a car thru a hotel room and crashes it. Driving Instuctor Stevie Wonder admits, "The baby told me he was sober enough to learn". Coverage at 11.

Up, Up, And Awaaaaaay!

While I lived in Detroit as a teen, I watched my Uncle Donald work on his amateur magic tricks. He did parties all the time for kids and was pretty good. He showed me how to run a knitting needle into a balloon without puncturing it. Forget it..I'm not telling you. However, after seeing David Blaine make news again by attempting to stay in a box at 50 feet in the air, I figured I 'd ruin one of his secrets.

Have you always wanted to know how to float in air? I mean, just hover and scare the crap out of someone? Well kids, never fret...Uncle Sam is here with the trick. I'm going to be working on it, and hope I get it down soon. Wish me luck as I hope it gets me on Letterman.

Ok...At least, Jimmy Kimmel.

Alright...Good Day Live.

Geez...Not even a morning radio show?

Thursday, September 11, 2003

No More Bat Nipples!!!

It's Official. Christian Bale is the new Batman. News of this is like wild fire on the web. THis is as exciting aswhen porducers chose Pierce Brosnan as Bond. Read more about it here and excuse me while I go nuts. WHAAAA-HOOOO! They finally got a good one!!! Now, Find a Superman, Warner Brothers!!

In A New York Minute

You can see from the date of this post, it's the second anniversary of the terrorist attacks on America. There's not much you can say with out looking like a commentator, so I won't. Wounds are still as fresh in my mind as a few generations before me with Pearl Harbor. So, if you don't mind, I'll just let you do what you think is best to honor it. Make it worth while.

So Fresh, So Clean

I've been a fan of the rap duo Outkast for along time. Actually, member Big Boi was raised in Carver Village, here in Savannah. I don' think we ever crossed paths, however. But I have bought he and his partner, Andre 3000's music. Their last album, "Stankonia" was a breakthough hit for the pair, with songs crossing over not only from Urban stations to Top 40, but to Modern Rock and College Stations as well, with one of my favorite songs all time, "Bombs Over Baghdad". Why didn't Fox News use that in their coverage earlier this year? Anyway, Outkast will finally release a new double CD on 9/23, "Speakerboxxx/The Love Below". It's interesting as "Speakerboxxx" is Big Boi's solo CD, while " The Love Below" is Andre's. I've seen the first two videos from the set, "I Like The Way You Move" and "Hey Ya". Frankly, I think this is great to put out solo cuts like this, yet still work under the Outkast name. I kind of wish KISS had thought of this when they did solo albums in the 70's. Just watch the two clips, then I dare you to tell me this ain't the party CD's for the fall.

Tuesday, September 09, 2003

Things to do when you get bored

After all the junk that went on last night, I was bored out of my skull, so i decided to go to the Late Show With David Letterman site just to see what's going on with Dave. I saw that they were looking for "Human Interest" guests. I figured, what the hell...I'm not Bruce Willis, but I could be on the show, so I sent his off...


Suppose I don't have a real talent.I'm just an ordinary guy with a webblog who goes to dialysis due to my failing kidney. I talk about it for the most part with some humor, relaying to folks what's going on with me. I don't have any tricks, I don't own a pet( although, I do want a dog), and I haven't dated Demi. If anything, it's just a shot to see if you think this has any real human interest. If you want to check out my blog, then take a look. Hey, at least I said I tried, huh?"

I got this today...

"You really should set your sights higher than that- I'm sure you've done SOMETHING interesting at some point in your life :)

Best of luck (and health) to you-


Eliana R. Salzhauer

Talent Coordinator

Late Show with David Letterman

1697 Broadway

New York, NY 10019"

What...I'm not interesting? I'm setting my goals higher all the time. Just because I can't fart out of my mouth, or have a dog who craps on cue still DOESN'T make me Uninteresting. Maybe I should have told her that I'm the only black man on the face of the Earth with no rythym and can't play basketball. I'll bet that would have gotten me to New York. No ill will against Dave, however. I don't think he's the mean one's his bookers.

Monday, September 08, 2003

Ok...I feel better.

But I still harbor EVIL thoughts against my landidiot. How can one woman not undterstand a frickin' thing I say? Is it all just broken English to this woman. Can she not understand that I am going thru a very terrible phase in my life and I'm doing what I can, while not trying to beg for help from anyone? What, like the money's just going to fly out of my ass? Hell, that maybe the way they do things everywhere, but this is the GOOD OL' USA, where you have to frickin' what till you get it! If you can't understand that, then bite ME!

Now that I got that crap off my chest, it's time to laugh. And, a man who I think I can agree with now is Joe Cartoon, who just happens to have the right way of getting thru this junk....MANTRA. Try it. I think you'll like it. By the way, I need to mention this has adult humor which is not suitable for kids over 13. Unless, your the type of parents who just don't really care. What knd of parents are you, anyways? Don't even get me started on the kids. Sheesh....

Crap, Crap, Crap

I am Seriously thinking of putting up Pay Pal on my blog. The reason would be for me to keep eating and to help pay the bills here. My landlady has been driving me nuts for rest, which I have been trying to keep up with. I pay 500 dollars a month on rest, but I only have 650 a month. I have to pay a premium for Medicare, which all this time I never thought I had to pay until I got the first bill. If I knew that getting sick when you're broke was this bad, I would have just gone to a homeless shelter, then jumped off a bridge. So, if anyone needs a a new butler, call me. I need the bucks THAT BADLY.

By the way...does anyone know how to deport a OLD-ASS GREEK LANDWENCH?

"Keep Me In Your Heart"

It's time for another celebrity obit. This time, Warren Zevon has passed away. Now honestly, not to make light of it, but if you knew the man's lyrics, you knew it was coming. The man has always dealt with death, in a comical way sometimes. Zevon knew it was coming and he faced it head on. In a documentary that's running on VH1, it showed him going back to smoking, which he quit, but returned to when he found out it was the reason for his demise. He figured if he's gonna have one vice left, then that's the one.

I found out about Zevon thru his cult hit, "Werewolves Of London", a darkly comic song about prissy monsters. I rediscovered the man in the late 80's with another song called, "Leave My Monkey Alone". I lost touch again, until three years ago, when he became a fill in for Paul Shaffer on The Late Show With David Letterman who I also found out, was a huge fan of Zevon. Sadly, Warren had his last public performance on the show last year, which he took the entire hour, a rarity. When sitting down with Dave, Zevon told the host he just wanted to eat a few more sandwiches before he left.

Thinking of that interview, in light of what's happening to me, it's given me a sort of good outlook on dying. Mind you, I don't want to die now. I think it would really piss me off if I did. But, I know that it's bound to happen at some point and if God, or one of his other identities call me up, then I guess I've got to go. Warren Zevon gave everyone the courage to at least fight the good fight to the very end, and just take what's given you when it's your time. I hope I get as cool as he did when it happens. I also hope he had a foot long salami, ham, capicola,pepperoni, Swiss, American, and Munster cheese sub with deli mustard, onions and dill pickles, because that's what I plan on having on my last day. Thanks, Warren.

You can read his obit here. If you want, you can read his song lyrics here.

Sunday, September 07, 2003


I haven't been working on the blog as of late. It's kind of been bad for be the past few days since I last posted. I wanted to put something down, but I just didn't want to make you sit there and go, "Awww, poor guy. why doesn't he just give up?" Believe me, the thought has crossed my mind. I've had hospital visits, a cranky Greek landlady who wants to know where's her money, a third job that hasn't paid me anything, Medicare that want money now before I CAN GET MEDICARE, a bad dating life, and a partridge in a pear tree.'s been good to me, so far.

I did have a Really Cool Thing happen at Wet Willie's tonight, however. If you follow along the adventures of World Wrestling Entertainment, you may have heard of Rob Van Dam, or as he is known, "The Whole F'n Show". He's a fantastic athlete and a great entertainer. His moves are some of the best in the business, as was shown here in Savannah as he wrestled in a steel cage match again the evil Kane.

Before I go on, let me just say that I LOVE Pro Wrestling. I even did an indy stint myself for a while. It hurt like hell for the most part, but the rest was sheer fun. And, yes...I know it's scripted. Many folks have their soap operas. I just look at this as a soap however where they slap themselves silly.

Anyway, Rob come thru the door with an entourage. I was talking to local TV newsman Mike Cilia (frickin' name dropper) noticed Van Dam walk in. Any word that were coming out of my mouth were gibberish as I saw R.V.D. Now, we've had O.J. and Jayson Williams come to Wet Willie's, but I think this time a violent sports celebrity who hasn't murdered anyone, but does beat up on guys come thru the door.

I got to talk to Rob about his time here, as he started out here before going up the ranks. We also talked about his comic book store, RVD'S 5 Star Comics, which just opened in California and is doing great business. As a fellow C.B.G (Comic Book Guy), we have to support each other the best way we can. He's a really smooth guy and I wish him the best of luck on the store, as well as in the ring.

As for me, it made me feel better after having a bad few days and got me back to writing again. I hope to get back to a regular schedule of posting. So, if you have to thank anyone thank for this, send Rob Van Dam an email.

Tuesday, August 26, 2003

Checking In...

Ok...I know I'm late. Just stop it?

It's been a tough day today. I had to go to the hospital to take care of left arm, due to the fact that the folks at the dialysis clinic couldn't hit the vien right because it's small. So I laid on the gurney in the surgery day room for a hour while they did their work. I, by the way was wide awke the whole time they did it, deadening the arm with Lydocane, running cathaters thru my skin, while watching the whole thing on a monitor.

Ok...I'll stop telling you about it. You're starting to look kinda queasy. Anyway, my arm is better, dialysis was ok today and I am pooped, I'm going to bed. Night!!

Sunday, August 24, 2003

SLAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMM! Let the boys be boys!!!

A few months back, I saw the great Smokey Robinson reading a poem on H.B.O's "Russel Simmon's Def Poetrty Jam". The poem was about how we as blacks nave gone though many names, culturally over the years. I thought the peice was great it was about the same of my own views, so I went to the H.B.O messege board to try and se if I could find a copy of it. I finally did and was very happy about it. Too bad I can't post it here, but that's another story.

So today, I checked my mail and found one from Poetri, who had also been on the show. POETRI WROTE TO ME? How's that happen?


This is not Smokey's poem, even though I know that you were looking for

it awhile back. My name is Poetri, and I am the cat that did the poem

about Krispy Kreme Donuts. I just got off of Broadway doing "Russell Simmons

Def Poetry Jam on Broadway". We won A TONY AWARD!!! YEAAAA!

Anyway, I am emailing you to let you know that my new website is

finally up.

Please go to it and sign my guestbook, so it will look like a lot of


like me...hahahaha.

PS. Our book is also out. Go to Borders or Barnes and Nobles and pick

up a

copy of "Russell Simmons Def Poetry Jam on Broadway...and more"

Keep it Natural"

A TONY AWARD WINNER!!! DAAAAANG! I think my head just got a lttle bigger today. Thanks again, Poetri. Y'all go get the book, NOW!!!

Friday, August 22, 2003

Let The Good Times Roll

Last night at Loggerhead's was great. We didn't have a huge crowd, but it was good for a start. Our guest bartender, Jennifer Quackenbush, did a wonderful job, the music was fine for the customers, as I was told, the staff did their job, and the Jagermiester girls just showed up.

That leads me to something. Have you ever gone to a bar and they had a liquor/beer promotion? Usually, they had models/hot babes post the name of the drink on their clevage, hoping it'll sell more. Not to really slam the Jagermiester girls, but they just looked tired, just plain beat. A bit like how a person is after you've had a few shots of Jager. Now, that's how to sell a booze. Can you imagine any other distillery and their spokesmodels? I can just see one now for Jamison Irish Whiskey, one of my favorites when I drank. Just think of a slurring, drunk woman from Cork County, sitting at a bar with her Jamison sash on, just waiting for the Jagermiester to show up, ready for a cat fight. Guess who wins in that battle of the hooch.

Thursday, August 21, 2003

It's a Kinda Thursday?

I know...I haven't posted in a few days. I have a good excuse. I 'll finally start at Loggerhead's tonite, so to get ready, I had to make special CD's, which ment lots of ripping and burning. I usually start when I get home around seven, look for tracks that could work, then get them ready for the CD. That took a while, but I got it done. I think I have 15 CD's ready for the them.

Anyway, we won't be doijg the turtle races tonite, cause we don't have the turtles. I hope we can get them in in a week or two. But, I will be there every Thursday night. We hope to have loads of fun out there and bring in lots of customers. So, if you're ever in the area, I sugest you do come on down and check out the south in the summer.

Monday, August 18, 2003

It's A Kinda Monday

It's almost 3:30 p.m. est as I write this. It's already been a long day.

I had a date over the weekend with Mo. She showed up wearing a red dress that had me floored and the rest of the Mercury Lounge drooling. I think I had a cheshire grin on my face becasue of that for the rest of Sunday. Which is why I hard a hard time sleeping that night.

So, here it is...MONDAY. I have a meeting for my Medicare at 8:30am and did not want to get up. I just wanted to bask in the glow that I am seeing a VERY HAWT WOMAN WHO ACTUALLY WOULD PUT ON A RED DRESS AROUND ME. Reality sank in once I woke up, right at seven a.m., even though I set the alarm at 7:15. I wound up getting a phone call that turned out to be a wrong number after I looked at the caller ID. I never answered it. Somehow, I think it was a call from God, telling me, "Everything's cool, baby. You got the great girl, dialysis is fine, and you still have a roof over your head. I got this. Let me do the driving, man."

So, I got cleaned, dressed and hit the road. I got a good breakfast in along the way, one I haven't had in a long time. Afterward, I got to the Ga. Department of Health see about getting my Medicare and food stamps. For the record, I hate doing this. The person I talked to looked like she was tired and I felt like I didn't need to be there. It was like I was taking up her time. But, it was done after an hour and I was SO glad to leave.

When I get home, I see the handymen still working on Milton's room. It's loud. The banging of the hammers, the screaming of the guy who got something dropped on his foot. Aren't they supposed to wear steel toed shoes? I just wanted take a nap, and they ain't helping. Soon, Milton comes knocking on my door, to bug me about making the landlady pay for a professional carpet cleaning. I then reminded his that's there a home shampooer in ther closet and to use it and be quiet. Whether that works out, we'll see.

So, here we are NOW. It's Monday here in The Comic Box. All is quiet and I've only sold $10.50 today. I know you're driving, God, but could take Mo and me to the Bahamas for a few days?

Sunday, August 17, 2003

Are You Ready To Rock?

One of best freinds is a dude named Bob Ruggerio. We met about 10 years ago when I was just sstarting my television show, Underground Savannah. More on the show later. He's an accomplished writer who has edited local weeklies here in Savannah and the Houston, Texas area. He's now doing freelance work for a few papers and does a damn good job. Just like helping to start a feud with metal rocker Ronnie James Dio and everyone's favorite dad, Ozzy Ozbourne. God, would I love to se that fight. Next to Bob talking to Cesar Romero and Tommy Chong, this has to be my favorite stoty he's written to date. Oh, and Bob, if your reading this, Little Rickey Givens says, "Hi, Mo Fo".

Inside joke, folks. I'll tell you later

Saturday, August 16, 2003

Fair and Balanced, Part Two

In my last post, you may have noticed I put a link on the words "Fair and Balanced" . The reason for that was a Weblog protest to Fox news for suing satirist Al Franken for usinfg the tag line on the cover of his new book. As a big fan of Al, I had to jump in , as well as other fans of free speech. Other blogs jumped on the wagon Friday, hopfully making a big noise. It was all started by Neal Pollack, who has a great blog himself. He like myself and Al are both Fair and Balanced when it comes to our blogs. We hope that you are, too.

Friday, August 15, 2003

Where Were You When The Lights Went Out '03

To anyone in the Northeastern United States and Canada, my heart goes out to you. I was watching MSNBC after dialysis and saw footage of folks walking thru Manhattan like it was a giant mall. It does take things like this to bring man kind closer, even though it's a tragic thing to happen. I just wanted to wish the folks there good luck and we'll send a prayer.

The Real Sam Johnson Show...FAIR AND BALANCED.

Wednesday, August 13, 2003

The Mark of Streeter

I met Mark Streeter working in The Comic Box over the last year. He's a cool customer. He comes in every Wednesday when the new books arrive to see if there's anything worthhwhile, just walking around slowly to see the prints on the wall, contemplaiting a purchase. Just a very good customer. He's also the Savannah Morning News' politcal cartoonist, who's been given many awards for his work and hailed by many as a very funny guy. His drawings are thoughtful and whimsical at the same time, while trying to explain the events of the day with a wink, a smile and lots of ink.

Honestly, I only know of the man thru the store. We've never really hung out, although I did invite him to my Big Birthday Bash in June. He didn't make it, but he sent his regards. I did buy his compilation of drawings a couple of months ago and had him to sign it for me as I was a big supporter of his work. I even have a print of his drawing of the passing of Jack Lemmon. Jack had just entered Heaven and waiting for him, in a recliner was his old pal, Walter Mattheu. Mark wrote Jack saying, "Oscar! The Landlord called me up here because you were making a helluva mess of the place!" Considering "The Odd Couple" is one of my favorite films, the print is a treasure to me.

I look at Mark as one of my favorite artist, as well as a good customer. Plus, any man in my oppinion, who puts Clark Kent in the "thank yous" section of your first book, is an all right kinda guy. Check out his work here.
Getting Caught Up...

OK, there's alot to talk about here, so let's do it. I haven't really posted anything worth while, and I kinda owe it to the readers to do so. That's what writers try to do.

Last night, I was in a bad mood. My landlady is a sweet liitle Greek woman, but is ruthless when it comes down to money. Nonetheless, she rented out a room in the house I'm living in (I'm renting out half the place, if you must know) to a psycho named Milton. I had to deal with him once before. He had lived in the house last year for a month and a half, spouting things like he had been a psychic and he knew who was killer behind the missing children case in Atlanta 21 years ago. But, no one listened to him, even though, in his mind he was right. He stated he lost his amazing powers due to drugs and drink and was forced to live an ordinary life.

You can imagine what I said he could do with his "ordinary life" and would happen to him if he EVER uttered a vowel around me.

Needless to say, he left afterward and I was glad. He was moving in with his girlfriend, or whomever. I didn't care.

Then, the freak moved back in. Talk about pissed. Ben, my real roomie, hates it too. But, this time, we're trying to train the monkey to jump the hoops. I'm not sure it can be done. Really, I don't care. I just want peace and quiet.

So, while Milton the Monster was moving in, I was headed out. I called up a friend and told her I wanted MEAT. I didn't care where it came from. I just need to eat MEAT. RARE MEAT. We met up at what I now consider the Wal-Mart of restaurants: Golden Corral.

Let me give you the set up of the place, if there's not one near you. Sure, there are loads of places you can go to for a buffett. America loves a good buffett these days. This is why we're so fat and lazy. Buffetts make good little senators. But the Golden Corral is different. No...they have STEAK on the buffett. Slabs of MEAT that's cooked in front of you on a GAS GRILL (!), then sliced. You have the choice of rare, medium, or well. As in, "I may as Well eat it. It's on the menu. How Rare is it to to get alot steak and a plate of spagetti for 8.95?"

So, I rallied up to the counter and the cook gave me a slice of the MEAT. THe cool thing about it was, if I wanted I could go back and get more steak! Joy! I could hear my heart screaming to me. "Oh, God, yes! Clog me , please. This could never happen again! Be the Man you always wanted to be and eat steat to my content! All you need is some dancing girls, and you are made for life, mister!"

I sat down with my food and launched all my anger and all my frustration of the day into the steak. Then, the flavor hit me. Actually there was know flavor at all. Just the realization that ANYONE who puts steak on a buffett is just plain eeeevvvviiiillll. I couldn't even finish it. My appetite was gone and my taste buds ran like Saddam for the hills. Thank God for the guy who created A-1. If it wasn't for that, it would have been like eating raw concrete. I used it on everything. The steak, the mac and cheese, the bread, my iced tea, the table...

This is America, however. We have to eat. We love bargains. If we have to have it, we'll suffer and go eat at a buffett and eat food just like Mom used to make when she was angry at Dad and put a Swanson's frozen dinner in the oven and we'll pay for it, 380 degrees in the long run. We just don't care. ALL the food I can eat? HECK YEAH! We don't care that it sucks. It's all you can eat! Get outta my way, Gramps! Put some jets on the walker and let me thru to the fried chicken or I'm running you down, old man!

If you have a hankering, go. I'm not really trying to put the place down, honest. It's just that when they say all you can eat in the ads, it can only mean bad things. Just make sure they have an Iced Milk machine with a bar that has all the toppings. Now, those ain't half bad.

Virus Alert

Someone sent me the virus that's going around online. If you ever get an Email from'T OPEN IT!!! it has a virus that could attach to your harddrive and warp it, especially if you have Windows 2000 or XP. Remember, Scan your mail first if it's an adress you don't be safe. If you do upen it, Microsoft has a patch already made to take care of it. Good luck!

Monday, August 11, 2003


I got paperwork back today from the Social Security Administation about my status on help. I will recieve Medicade, but won't get disability, due to the fact I make over 800 dollars U.S. a month. I won't go into how much money I do make a month with you, but let's say I take from one to give to another in order to make it. I'm thinking of just doing the one night at Wet Willlie's in order to do this. It could possibly get me more money a month than I'd be making at both jobs, which would be good, since I need a new car. The downside is having to tell my landlady this and asking her if she can handle me paying lees for the next three months. If she can do that, all will be well. Knowing her however, she'll go crying and begging that she needs money now and the morgage on the house is killing her. I just want a place to stay and be comfortable, no matter what happens, and I happen to like this house. Why does everything in life has to be a catch 22? Darn you, Joseph Heller.

Sunday, August 10, 2003

Brain Freeze...

I havn't posted in a couple of days, mostly because I coudln't think of anything to put down. I think I was thinking too hard about the political stuff. So, if your wondering what it's like trying to put one of this things together, try this on for size. It's a bear, y'all.

Friday, August 08, 2003

Uncle Duke Lives...

All of a sudden, it looks as though the blog has gotten political. Don't get's just me trying to broaden my surroundings. Hopefully some of you will understand. You don't have to follow any of this stuff, but it makes for great water cooler talk.

So I was checking out Ain't It Cool and it does have an interview with Hunter S. Thompson, who wrote "Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas". If you've never read the man's books, then you're in for a treat. If you have, then it's the same thing. It's a wild ride. You be the judge on the man.
Goin' Back To Cali

In our continuing, yet skewed look at the California Gubnatorial recall, we now have an up to date list on the folks running. It looks as though Mr. Drummond's adopted child is in the race as an independent, while Larry Flynt is also in for the Democrats. All the more why Arnold could win this one. He could wind up being the new face for the Republicans. Their version of a Clinton. He's done pot, he's been a womanizer, he's even done nudity. But he admits it. Well at least he's honest.

But, with guys like Gary Coleman, Flynt, and even a character named Trek Thunder Kelly eyeing the spot, Schwarzenegger could walk away cleanly and take the spot. The guy has the recognition, he has the clout, and the Republicans need this for a sort of overhaul to take the heat off of guys like Cheney, who for my opinion, looks and acts like the perfect conservative.You know....the old, balding, rich, white guy. I don't live in L.A. or anywhere else for that matter in California, but if I was, I'd get ready for some major changes come October.

Thursday, August 07, 2003

Total Recall

It's official. Arnie is going to run for govenor of California. Meanwhile, so is Ariana Huffington, her husband, Gary Coleman and lots of others. The next few weeks in Cali will be interesting to watch. We'll keep an eye on it for you as it progresses.

You know, with this recall, anyone can run. My vote is for Ralphie May of Last Comic Standing for California Govenor. Hey, he came in second to Dat Phan. Give him a chance!

Wednesday, August 06, 2003

Dat won! Dat won!

Ok...the date was fantastic, Mo's a great kisser and Dat Phan won in Last Comic Standing!!!!

I knew this was a good night!!!!!!!

Tuesday, August 05, 2003

Dat's the Man!!

I've got a few minutes before I step out with Mo. I took a quick shower to freshen up and feel awake. The greek place is only a few minutes away, I'll get there on time. As soon as I get out of the door, though I gotta watch Last Comic Standing. It's one of the better summer rality shows on. I don't have time to go though deatils of it all, becasue it's the final episode tonite on NBC. Comedy Central also reruns the shpow on Saturday nights as well. If they run it as much as they run old eps of BattleBots, then you'll never miss it. My pick to win of the group is Dat Phan. He's a zen master of comedy and he's never really done a regular set, like the other comics. The others are fantastic as well. Check it out and I'll get back to you after the date. Maybe you'll let me know who won.
If It's Tuesday...

then it must be dialysis day. I went in and weighed myself on the electronic scale and found out that I had gained 12 pounds since Saturday's session. How the heck did that happen? When going thru this, you have to keep an eye out on how much you drink, as your kidneys won't let them filter properly and your just plain stuck with it until you return to the machine.

There were more complications as well. My skin is very tough, making me a sort of Superman, something which is kinda cool in a geeked out way. But because of that, they can't seem to get the 16 gauge needle into the vein to pull the blood and return it. By the time it was done, it took at least 4 plugs to the arm before they could start. I felt like a pin cushion by the time they were done. I thought my arm would look like Popeye's when it was over. So, after four and a half hours of this, it was over and I was pooped. I got home and imediatly plopped down on the bed to rest. One more problem, however. I've got a date with Monette tonite! I hope to God I don't fall asleep in the middle of the suvlaki at the greek restaurant.

Monday, August 04, 2003

Yesterdya USA Update

As I was sitting down to peruse the web for a bit, I decided to tune in Yesterday USA and the Bill Bragg Show to see how things were going. I recieved a leter from him today after I sent him a letter a few weeks ago, letting him know that I thought his station was my favorite and that I posted it here. His letter. As I listened, I just happened to hear him mention my name and the Real Show! Jus tto let you know, Y-USA is heard around the world online, so I just got a big boost. Thanks, Bill! Man, do I want to do a show for those guys. I'm working on the old time radio show collection as much as I can. If I can ever get my DJ setup like I want, I may return to the airwaves doing the thing I love best...having fun.

By the way, here's what Bill wrote:

"Sam,Sorry I am so long in getting back to you! I just read your kind posting, and you really made my day. I tried to print the posting to read it on the air, but was unable to do so.

You are a good friend!

Bill Bragg"

Man, that was like getting a letter from Santa Claus for me. Cool!

Everybody, Everybody...

I hope you guys had a great weekend. Mine was cool. Loggerhead's is about go to for Thursday night. By the way, it's on #1 old Tybee Rd. here in Savannah if you ever decide to come on down. Check Mapquest for directions. We're planning on a fun time with the stuff we thought up, just to make you happy. The food is great, the service is excellent, and I am just a shill for the place. Come on down and see for yourself. Tell them I sent you.

Now time for a link.If you're a fan of good flash animation, then check out Homestar Runner. I was told about this place for quite a while and didn't get the chance to see it for a bit. I was glad I got to it. The flash is nice and clean, but the writing is superb. The cast is lead by Homestar, who is a winner of all sports, but not the smartest marshmallow in the bag. Of course, every hero needs an archrival and his name is Strongbad. He and his brother, Strongmad, and sidekick, The Cheat thrive of making H.R.'s world a living heck with mass confusion and hilarity. It's one of the best things on the web today, and alot better than even larger studio sites. Now, go on... check it out. If you're not satisfied, I'll personally buy you a milkshake. Really.

Sunday, August 03, 2003

Sir Mixalot would be proud...

I got a quick link here, or "huurr", as the kids say these days. It's the perfect site for those of you who like or have a little more junk in the trunk than usual. I saw it and got a great laugh from it and I hope you do too. I give!

And, whatever you do, if you are single, don't take the site seriously, M'kay?

Saturday, August 02, 2003

Screech Spade

I have the entire weekend off, so I figured that I am going to enjoy myself by going out and having fun tonite. Yes, Sam is STEPPING OUT!

So, because of that, I may not post tomorrow. I'll leave you with this instead. I came about this post a few weeks ago and have been waiting to pass this along. This is probably the greatest home made full length movie based on a Saturday moring kids show ever. I give to you Saved By The Bell Mysteries! Enjoy!

Friday, August 01, 2003

The Governator?

Arnie is planing to announce whether or not he's run for Califorina Govenor on The Tonight Show this Wednesday. Letterman had a good point in his Top Ten List earlier this week when his number one reason why Arnold wouldn't run is the fact that he didn't want to take a 29 million dollar cut in pay. Here's the gist of the ongoing saga of Cali here.


Real Show Salute!

I've gotten my first real Email from a reader! I am, like, so stoked about! I only thought it was just pals and family reading up on me. But the FIRST Real Show Salute goes to Dave Hewitt, who has been reading for a month now! Dave, thanks for taking the time to check us out. You can pick up your free supply of Turtle Wax at the door. Our ushers here will bring it to you.

If you have any cool links you want to share, email me at You'll get a mention and salute if I use it here. Thanks, everyone!

I'm going to keep "Secrat Origins" as sort of a semi-regular feature of the blog. I'll get it from time to time, pending what mood I'm in. It started out to be a link to a very cool music site, The 360 Project, which has musical oddites galore, from William Shatner's golden tones to Calypso singer and dancer Louis Farrakan. Yes, that one. However, I started to talk more about family instead.

Speaking of which, I got an email from one of my sisters, Linda, who saw the piece and had some corrections:

"I see (in) your family story, you have Anthony older than me but it's the other way around, and what happened to the other siblings, Betty, Rosetta and Wyman who was also there until conflict sat in with your father, but mama raised all of us. The only one wasn't in the house with us was my half sister Shelia, who was my daddy's child, but we were also raised around her. Oh, and your mama spelled her name SARAH..."

Let's now tally this up...

After careful counting, we know stand at 11, including me, circa 1966, not counting Sheila. But, if we were to take into account that my father was, in nicer terms, a bed hopper and look at later years, you would find my whole baby brother and last of SARAH's children, Martin, who was born in 1971. His story coming up later. Dad also sired two boys in New York who I have only seen pictures of, Eric and Abe. Eric, I belived worked for HBO HQ at one point. Dad was also the birth parents of girls Debora, Terri, and Adrian, all here in Savannah. Finally, in his Last Two (!) marriges, he had a son from one wife, Eric (again), and two girls from his last wife, Catherine, the only woman whom I call step mother, Erica and Catherine, who saw nicknamed Cherry. Let us not forget Catherine Sr.'s daughter who was adopted by my dad, Damitta. I will not those who have come to my father's store and claimed to be a child of his, because, frankly, there were way too many of those freaks that I stopped keeping count and this has given me a splitting headache.

In all, 21 FREAKIN' BROTHERS AND SISTER!!!!!!! Holy Walton's Creek, Batman!

Do you see NOW why I'm so quirky?

Thursday, July 31, 2003

Secret Origins

Part 1

I've always been a fan of the quirky. I wish I could tell you how it all got started, but I know it all started as a child. I just had an inquisitive nature that my older siblings thought and still think of as, not natural. Ok, not Dahmer natural, but just plain weird. I was born a middle half child in an already established family whose father had died. I showed up, I believe, just three years after his death. If I'm wrong on this, I know I will be corrected very quickly.

For the most part, it was all of us in the house, and I was treated as the Golden Child by my dad, Eric. If I could, I would write an entire blog based on his adventures and stories. Most of them, being stories, as in fabrications, as I found out when I found out when I was older. However, my mom, Sara put up with them, for the most part. But, she never put up with his crap, either. She was the pure definition of a Strong Woman. She raised a house full of kids by herself when her first husband, William had passed and did a wonderful job of making sure we had a hot meal and clothes on our backs. And, there was alot of backs to be covered. In order of age, circa 1966, was Shirley, Anthony, Linda, Gail, Patricia,Jackie,and Gwendolyn, who we called "Peanut", as she was the baby of the family, or so they thought. Little did they know that the biggest nut of the of the family was about to be born on June 14.

Sara met Eric in 1964. the family had just moved to Montgomery and 41st street, just next to Anne Bryant, who would soon be my future grandmother. Her son, Eric had just returned from NYC, where he made a living. Now, as a kid, he told me he was a New York cop, and had fasinating tales of his time on the force.

Now, I must stop here and ask you to ponder this. I, as well as other kids, idolized my father. He was probalby the greatest man who ever walked the face of the Earth, next to Jesus, Superman, and Ali. His adventures had me glued to the seat, telling me of shootouts, arrests, fights and more. He was everything I wanted as a father. What a man!

Now as I got older I found out that the whole thing was a lie. It kept me entertained and quiet as a kid. I got duped. There are times now were I wis I could have traded him in for Ali. At least I would be a better fight to match my big mouth.

Anyways, the short of it was Dad sees Mom, Mom sees Dad, Dad scmoozes his way into Mom's heart, Mom digs him and falls into his web, kids think Dad's a louse, but he comes around anyway, Mom finds out she is having a baby and Voila! Samuel Marquieth Johnson is born.

It's been a wild ride ever since...



Wednesday, July 30, 2003

Today, I was a geek. A fanboy. A nerd.

I think I need a loooooogn shower because of it.

It's new comic book day in the Comic Box, where everyWednesday, we and other stores around the world get their new books shipped from the distributor. It was kind of a light week. The only major book to come out that was worth while coming out today is Batman, written by Jeph Loeb and drawn by Jim Lee, two of the best in their field. Since they've been working of the book, almost a year ago, they took the book which was in a slump and shot it to the nmber one selling comic on the charts with a year long storyline called "Hush". In it,batman has been tormented by some of his worst enemies, all launched by a new villan, Hush. His secret as been a mystery the whole time, and there were several suspects. I had been following the book since it had come out, and was enjoyed with the story, thinking all along I knew who Hush would be. Man, was I wrong.

The latest issue was realeased only to comic stores, with newsstands getting the book two weeks later, so for all of you who ARE following the story...

NO SPOILERS. I'll let you get the shock of your life yourself.

I read the book in the store and yelled like a wounded hound dog. I couldn't believe what I had seen. I told every customer that came in, if they havent read the book before, then you better pick it up NOW, 'cause this thing is gonna sell out. I just freaked out over the thing. I promised I would never get that way over a comic book ever again. It's everything I stood against in a comic fan. The total weirdness of it all. As it goes, I basicly had a geek version of the Holy Ghost come over me.

Like I said, I woun't spoil it. It'll be in a collected edition before the year is out. When it does, check it out. It's one of the best mysteries I've read in a long time.


Tuesday, July 29, 2003

One more thing about Bob Hope. I'm starting a grassroots campaign to get DC comics to reprint some of Hope's old comic stories. With the self loathing fanboys out there, I know they won't like what I had to say when I put up the post, but it had to be done. I'm that way in the store and I guess I'm that way online to. Someone has ot slap 'em back to reality. Let's pray they don't find me at Dragon Con this year. Check it out.

Speaking of Dragcon Con...Ronnie, if you're reading this, can you hook a brother up for that weekend? Call me...

This is a sort of third hand story, but it's just too good to pass up, so I hope all involved won't send a hit after me. Mark Evanier of got an Email from a reader about . Funky address, I know. But for this, it's worth it.

As we all have heard, spam mail is getting quite out of hand, especially with con artist out there doing their best, sending out bogus claims. Well, our man at Monkey Spit has decided to do something about it. It's detailed, so keep reading, cause it's worth it. Here's part one and here's part two. Enjoy!

A correction. I mistakenly gave the age of George Burns at the time of his death at 101, when he was acttually 100. Really, the man played God. He could have been anyage he wanted to be after playing that role. It kind of reminded me of an old slam. To paraphrase, Burns was so old, his Social Security number was 3.

Meanwhile, back to Bob Hope, he had an extensive collection. His Joke File, which he updated almost everyday for the freshest joke, held 7 million, which was kept in two safes. He made a large donation to the Library of Congress of personal items and effects he gathered over his many years. Take a look at it here.


Monday, July 28, 2003


I just got the word that we just lost Ol' Ski Nose.

As much as folks these days would think, Bob Hope was just the guy who was there supporting the troops in "Nam and showing off ht AP All Star Colligates. But He was more than that. He was what Comedy and Humanitarianism was all about. I wish to God I had a personal story to tell about Bob. I was a Fan just like anyone else, but anyone who haas studied comedy picked up their timing from someone who was The Master. Not Cosby, not Pryor, not Carlin, Bruce, Berle, or Benny. It all starts with Hope. And, Hope is something we can always use in life.

My roomie Ben, had stated that Bob was only 100 years old, so it was going to happen. It's too bad it did. You just wish he could be here a bit longer just to have him around. Interesting, though. We lose Bob at 100 and George Burns at 101. Now that's the real Last Comic Standing.

For those of you who really want to know about Bob's great life, read here and learn about the man who could be the Greatest American of the 20th Century. And, I promise... no cliches to end a blog about Bob. You should know it. Just hum it to yourself for a reminder.
Busy weekend, folks. I was kinda tied up with work and dialysis for the most of it. Plus, I just came in from Loggerheads getting everything worked out for The Big Show, coming Thursday nights. I thinks it's going to work out well, what with Turtle Races, Trivia, music other than Buffett, and more. Wish me luck it holds out.

Just a thought. It's 1am and your driving along home and there's not many cars out on the road. Have you ever caught yourself turning a corner where there's another car waiting there, and you drive even slower, looking in the other person's car, while they're looking at you?

You know you've done it.

Thursday, July 24, 2003

It's a sad day here in the Johnson Hacienda. Mr. and Mrs. James Brown are getting a divorce. Sad really, but they announced their split in the pages of Daily Variety. I know it was probably meant well, but come on. Plus, the photo in the ad was taken at Disneyworld. Looking at the photo, I can see why the wedding was off. I've heard many stories about Goofy and his prowness with the women. The stories about the Goofman, according to Hollywood legend, make him the most quietly celebrated lover, rivaling only Warren Beatty, Errol Flynn, Speedy Alka Seltzer and Colin Farrell. I can't reveal some of the things I was told, as I promised Bob Hope, who was his long time golfing partner, to his death, which I hope will never happen. Needless to say, Goofy will continue to ruin marriges like the Browns and break in new stars, as he did Jennifer Garner, as long as there is Hollywood.

Y'all know I wasn't kidding about most of this, right?
So, did I ever tell you how I started the dialysys thing?

Alot of folks ask me how is it? is it painful? do they take alot of blood from you? Is it your blood? Are you a raging monster afterward?

I got the news on june 7th, just days before my 37th birthday. I had known for about a year that it was coming. I had already been been fitted for the process in 2002 when my doctor had told me it was long in coming, so I should be prepared. They would monitor me to see how my kidney function was going and if it got worse, I was going in. So, I had a year to go thru the worry of it, just wondering like you how it would be. By the time I was told that it would now begin, I was ready to do it, emtionally.

I told my friends what was going on. I wouldn't

be around as much for a while, and if I was, I couldn't stay do to rest. Lots of folks were concerned and asking questions. I assured them that I would be fine. I would be a differnt person by the time it was all over, so I hope they would understand. One person, in particular, Holly Armbruster, told me she wanted to to be there to make sure that I would be ok.

I had met Holly at O'Connell's Irish Pub, which is right across from the Mercury Lounge. I don't visit other bars and was hesitant about going there, but I was invited to do a few songs with one of the bands playing that night. Holly worked there with her husband, Thomas as bartenders, and both did very good jobs, weather separate or together. Since then, we had become good friends and O'Connell's became the only other bar I would go to.

I didn't want Holly to go with me. I didn't want anyone to go. I didn't want anyone to sit there for four hours going thru having to wait on me do this. But, she told me that's what friends do for each other for support. I tried to talk her out of it, but she had made her mind up, and you couldn't argue.

That first day, she was there and I was a nervous ball, bouncing off the wall. She held my hand and though I didn't show it, my inner peace was releaved that someone was there for me. I didn't know how I would have gotten thru this.

I was hooked up while she sat outside. The needles were painful as they were inserted in my arm. After a while, I became lightheaded and wanted to pass out, but I wanted to see how it was done. Soon, Holly came in to see how I was doing. She sat there and talked to me while it was going on, even though I may have been slightly incoherernt. I talked to her for the whole time and I felt better as the time went on.

When it was done, I was unhooked and She and I went to our cars to go our seperate ways. She hugged me tight and told me " I did this because I am your friend and I love you. I didn't want you to be scared. I had just hoped that you would go thru the first one without a problem". I didn't. Since then, I now go with a smile on my face, knowing that I'm one step closer to perfect health.

I have thanked Holly on a personal level, but never on a public one. What a oerfect venue better than this to do it. Holly, I want to thank you for being there for me. I know I can be cocky about things. I can be stubborn and sarcastic, but that's just me. I foyu hadn't have gone with me, I don't know how I would have done it. I'm blessed that you did. You are an amzing woman and Thomas is a very lucky man to have you as his wife. I hope one day to blessed with someone like you as a partner. You were there for me on what could be the most important day of my life, at that point, so I will forever be in your debt. When this is all over, I owe you a big hug. I love you, darlin'. And I love all my friends.

And that's how I go thru it.


Tuesday, July 22, 2003

I'm not going to stay on for long, so I'll make this quick.

Had a great day today. Got the house cleaned, or at least, neat. Ben, my roomie, was shocked. He thougth I was sick or something. I left the house later that night to listen to a freind about their problem because, as I have been told, I have a a good shoulder to cry on. I went downtown afterward to the Mercury Lounge to get a cranberry. Saw my old pal Eion(pronounced "Owen" in his native Ireland), powho wnats me to do a DJ gigs for his bar/restaurant, Loggerheads. I'll give you more details as they occur on that. As for my freind who I left the hopuse for at 1 am: I did that, cause that's what friends do. They support one another no matter what.

Monday, July 21, 2003

Whilst I am at it, I have been wanting to put this online for a bit. If you've heard the online urban legend of the Star Wars, I now give you the opportunity to laugh your head off.

Theclip has bounced around the web for quite awhile. once the remix was done, you couldn't quite top it. That was, until the Greatest Super Hero/ Talk Show Host took business into his own hands.

Hi...I'm ENJOYING my Monday off. I feel so relaxed right now. No work, no fan boys, no doctors, nothing. I could do this everyday if money wasn't involved.

I just saw the funniest thing in the world, at least for today. I just found out that High School proms are now the Junior Player's Ball. I just went in Jheri Curls, but this is too much. Have a look.


Sunday, July 20, 2003

Well, I went to the store today and told them I'm taking a day off. Fred was fine withthat. I know have two days to relax. It's like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. it's the first time since I've had Dialysis that I'm had the chance to rest like I want. I'll rest, of course, as soon as I clean up the house.

Today is lazy day. It's the only day I have to relax and unwind after the week. It sucks that I only have the one day, but I usually try to take advantage of it. I was supposed to go out later, but things didn't work out. Thank goodness. I didn't get home til 4:30 this morning after Willie's. So today, I'm gonna check out a few sites and do some posting. We'll see how it goes.


Saturday, July 19, 2003

Good news...the modem's back to normal after calling Comcast tech, so we're back to normal. I just came home from downtown. Long night. At Wet Willie's, I got hit on. By a troll. With a tounge ring. Don't get me wrong. On the right person, at the right time, it's a good thing. Not on what I saw tonight.

She waved liked she knew me. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, I never saw it before in my life. She showed up with her husband and their freinds. But, she just kept coming over to the booth, just yakking away. I SWEAR TO GOD, I don't know who the heck she is. She told me she got her tounge ring just a couple of days ago, licking it at me over and over and over, telling me she got it because she's going thru a mid life crisis. Her son told her that she was ancient.

I asked her how old she was. She told me in a bad drawl, "32".

ON MY ONLY WORKING KIDNEY, I never talked to her, touched her, walked in her direction, looked her way, or asked her which way to the bathroom. I have NO RECOLECTION WHATSOEVER BECAUSE I DON"T GO UNDER BRIDGES.

I have really got to find a new job.


Friday, July 18, 2003

It's another Friday here in the store today. Watching the fanboys walk thru and get geeky when they see the stuff. Kinda funny, sometimes. I also got word that we'll be filming a new televison ad on Tuesday, and I'll be doing the voice over for the ad! Hey, we have to sound professional so normal folks will come in and shop.

My modem's still on the fritz, so I've been holding off on doing anything. Sorry about that. I've missed out on doing things they way I said I would. Here's hoping that I should have things back to the norm by the end of the weekend. Cheers!

Wednesday, July 16, 2003

If you've been checking things out here, you've noticed that there's really no space marker beween the entries. So, I'm now making it easier to read the posts. Although you can check each post by date, some days will have more than others. Hopefully, this will make it easier for you to read and enjoy. By the way, email me if you can and let me know what you think so far of the blog at I do want to hear what you think.

Salsa singer Celia Cruz has passed. One of her last appearences was a commercial for Dr. Pepper. Ironicly, Jam Master Jay of Run-DMC had also taped a commercial for the company before his untimely passing. I'm not making light it, but it just catches me as coincidence. No matter. Both were brilliant. Here's the story on Celia and bless her.

Yesterday USA

Hi. Sorry I wasn't on for the past couple of days. My modem was knocked out for some screwy reason and I can't access the blog or anything else for that matter without it. Talk about a bad coulple of days. You can't really live without high speed if it's gone. Those of you who remember the days of 28.8 know exactly what I'm talking about. When you got somethings fast, you cherished it. Then, things got quicker and you had to get a 56. Soon, it was time stop the stuttering and false loading and really boot up. The Comic Box still runs under 28.8 because the owners of the property never expected the internet in '86, so they let it go. I don't think they plan on outfitting the plaza with wiring, because they are, in my own interpretation, too dang cheap. So, I have to suffer at work. I can't even listen to my favorite staion online, Yesterday USA .

While I'm at it, I'm going to start putting up more of my recommendations for great pop culture links I can pass it along to you. Y-USA is a site for fans of classic radio drama, comedy and music from the first 50 years of the 20th century. It's on 24 hours a day, run only by listener support. It's been one of my favorite sites for years and the big reason I got a cable modem. It's founder, Bill Bragg has one of the nicest, freindliest voices I've heard on the air and each of the hosts of the various shows have a wonderful personality. The shows itself are just fantasic to listen to since this is pure drama. Each of these makes you use your imagination of what Jack Benny's reactions may be, or just how ominous is the Shadow when he does appear, if you can find him. It's a sheer pleasure everyday to come home after a hard day's work or whatever to tune in. Give it a shot once, especially if you have kids. I know you'll enjoy it as much as I do.

Monday, July 14, 2003

My day went from a good mood to crap. Thank the stars it got better. I decided to check out a chat room, which I haven't done since 1996 (!) and see if I could still hold down the fort.

Boy, do I have alot to learn.

I downloaded ICQ and went to 30somethings. It was kinda cool checking it out. Nice folks in there. I met a woman in Illinois with the name Nurse_32. See seemed like a nice person and we had a good chat. It made me feel better about things instead of being pent up in the house on a Sunday.

Sunday, July 13, 2003

I figured I'd write this because I'm feeling good about life after hearing the news. My best freind Jeff was let go of the radio conglomerate he ran production for two months ago due to a guy who told them he could do the job faster and better. For a while, he and his wife Tina (my best female freind) were going thru a bit of a crunch. Jeff knows the biz and does a damn good job, but without it, life isn't easy. Believe me, I know. As it turns out, the guy they replaced him with did a lousy job and had billing so screwed up , they called Jeff back! He's now working again fulltime and is probably picking up where he left off. I'm putting this down for two reasons. That everyone deserves a second chance, if not to prove to themselves, but to others that sometimes the newest isn't the best. The other reason is to publicly congratulate the two best freinds I've ever had. I love them both and they deserve the best.

Saturday, July 12, 2003

Hi, kids. Been kind of busy with work and everything else. I'll try and get back soon. Until then, ponder the fate of Jerry Springer in goverment. I'm telling you, we're one step closer to having Ricki as trash collector. Oh, wait. I forgot. Have you seen the guests she has?