Thursday, July 29, 2004

Hope Is On The Way

I'm driving down the road towards a Quizno's Subs, which I have never eaten before. Suddenly, I feel a rumble from the front passenger side and BOOM! My front tire blows out. I call some freinds, leave the car at the Quiz (as I call it) before I get an Italian and go home.

Ok, I know you want more. Gimmie a sec. This sub is good.

I'm back. Man, that's a good sub. That and a big cup of chewy ice hit the spot.

Anyway, I caught the Dem's convention. I thought it was pretty good in some places. Ok, only when Barak Obama spoke. I'm sorry. Kerry finally got the diamond out of his butt that started out a lump of coal tonight, but come on. Barak was straight bangin'. You know what? Don't let white polititians talk on stage anymore. Sorry y'all, but let's be honest people. Let's not have any more conventions. Just let Barak speak. If he was a Republican, Democratcs would be screwed. Let Barak speak. Then, throw on Al Sharpton on afterwards. That's right...I said it. Sure, he reminds me of my old man and I hate that bastard. But you gotta give it to Al on this one. This is what Black folks call "CHUCH". Not "Church". Y'all went to "church". Some Blacks even went to "church". I went to "CHUCH". This is the equvilent of the head deacon speaking about how things was, then the preacha givin' you a COME TO JESUS MEETING. I don't care who you are. Yes, Al went over his time. Yes, all the network pundits were mad he did that. But, ya know what? Until those two showed up, this could have been the most blandest convention. Now, the Dems realize that they are stuck with Kerry and Edwards and they HAVE to support him in November. But now, they just got the sermon they needed to get them thru it.

Oh, I almost forgot. This is post 199 in a series and two hundred is on the way. Let's pray I can do something cool for that one.

Wednesday, July 28, 2004

Update To The Last Frickin' Update

I'm not going to Six Flags again. As it turns out, the date I was supposed to go with has to work that day due the the fact that her replacement busted his leg and can't work. Please excuse me whilst I scream in anger.

DIE MONSTER, DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!!!!! I blame my ex wife on this, too.

Nonetheless, I shall be going to Six Flags. I don't care what it takes. I have tried for the longest just to get out of town for at least half a day for four years. It truly has been no luck whatsoever. I think you understand that when you wanna go, you wanna go. So, imagine if there's a hurdle EVERY FRICKIN' TIME YOU TRY TO LEAVE. All I want to do is just have some kind of fun. Please God, just let me go on vacation just this once. I just wanna ride a roller coaster, that's all.


Tuesday, July 27, 2004

I've Been Busy This Week...So Sue Me.

Here's what happened...

Worked at Wet WIllie's on Friday,

Dialyisis, then a pool party on Saturday,

House warming party at a freind's house on Sunday,


Did dialysis today and leaving in a few to see if I can get some help getting this fund done,

Going to Six Flags in Atlanta tomorrow tto blow off some steam.

So, how you doin'?

Update : Not going to Six Flags 'til Thursday.  But I am going. When I see that old dancing guy, I'll pimp slap him for you.

Thursday, July 22, 2004

Why Isn't This On Fox Kids?

Since we've been talking about toons for the most part this week, I think you should see this. You've heard about it, you've read about, now here it is. Bush and Kerry in This Land!!!

The Real Sam Johnson Show ON THE ROAD!

I'm writing to you now from a local bar here in Savannah called Notorious. It's filed with pretty people with money. I really hate the place. But, I am here for two reasons. One, to see if my wireless works (it does) and to talk to some folks about fund raising. While I'm here, I may as well tell you I'm working on something for next month, August 22 here in town as the first fundraiser. I'll have more details soon. If you can't make it, soon you'll beable to make a donation online, I hope. Just keep up with me and I should have things up soon. One the road in Savannah, I'm Sam Johnson...OUT!

Tuesday, July 20, 2004

More on THE LIST!

Ok, so I take it a few folks are upset with me saying that Scooby shouldn't be on the list. The way I did the list was look at my favorites and then the popularity of the show. Basiclly, Scoob should be in the top five. Now, if I had to schedule Saturday Mornings, it would be completely different from the list. Shows would run from 7am til 2pm (remember those days?) and would be chock full of classic fun. Here we go...

7am-Davey and Goliath

7:30-Mighty Mouse

8am-Bugs Bunny/Roadrunner Show (Uncut!)

9am-scooby doo (ahem)

9:30-The Jetsons

10am-The Wheel Of Superfriends. One week we show The Wonder Twins, the next week it's The Legion Of Doom. It's all too much.

10:30am- Space Ghost/Birdman Action Hour. Old school carrtoon violeence the way you love it. 

11am-Frankenstein Jr and The Impossibles . It was just plain old goofy fun. 

11:30am- Spiderman. The 60's version. Did whatever  spider could.

12pm-Underdog.The only time Wally Cox had Testicular Fortitude.

12:30pm-Rocky and Bullwinkle.  Yes, it's dated.  Yes, it's old. But, it's one of the funniest shows that ever hit television, live or animated.

1pm. The CBS Childrens Film Festival. You didn't expect Kukla, Fran and Ollie now, didja?

I had to redo the whole list over again when I couldn't get it to load earlier today, so I had to start over. But there you go. Now talk about it in the comments.

Monday, July 19, 2004


I had a busy weekend so I wasn't able to write. But I'm here now. I'll give only the top five as noone cares for a top six list of favorite cartoons. I'll give descriptions to certain shows to save time. Let the arguements begin.


5. (Tie) Scooby Doo, Where Are You? and The New Scooby Movies. The original. No frickin' Scrappy. And when he met Don Knotts, Comedy Gold.


4. Fat Albert. If you didn't like it, you were like school in the summertime. NO CLASS.


3. Space Ghost. Back when he was a bad ass with a monkey. If anything, this should go to all Hanna-Barbera action shows of the sixties, from Birdman to Young Sampson to the Impossibles down. The background music was jazzy enough that it should have been used in the Matrix.


2. The New Adventures of Superman. In 1966, CBS decided to bring superheroes to the small screen and it's flagship would be this show with the guy who started it all. Perfect for the fact that the show was voiced by actors who perfomed in the classic radio show.


1.The Bugs Bunny/Road Runner Show. The reason I and so many Americans are so screwed up today.


Ok...Now what's yours?

Friday, July 16, 2004

What is the best Saturday Morning Cartoon ever? OR The World's Biggest Fight Cloud

I found this on Fark today and it has to be the most debated thing I've seen in a long time. You know you have your own. Read this, then tell me what you got. I'll tell you mine tomorrow. (1039866) What is the best Saturday Morning Cartoon ever?

Howdy Ho!!!

Michael Moore is doomed. Matt Parker and Trey Stone, the guys who brung you "South Park" are finishing a movie to be released later this year called "Team America", about a anti terrorist group seeking WMDs and stopping Kim Jong Il. It's a an action comedy that plans on ripping apart liberal Hollywood. Knowing what Matt and Trey have done in the past, this ought to be one of the funniest films of the year, possibly "Anchorman" funny ( Which I've seen and haven't laughed like that before in theater in a loong time). Both Matt and Trey are registered Republicans, which may be a shock to a lot of you, so expect this film to take everything that Moore has done this summer and rip him a new one.


Oh, did I mention that "Team America" has an ALL PUPPET CAST? Yep, Moore's doomed. 


Thursday, July 15, 2004

It's My Life

I'm typing this from my new laptop in the living room. It's actually kind of cool to work wireless and go where you need to, within range of course, and go online. I'm pretty happy about it. As soon as I can netowrk my computers together, life will be good. 


So, today I feel blah. I have to get some folks together and work on ideas for fund raisers. It feels anticlimatic now since I told everyone what was going on with me. Now, I gotta sit down with everyone and start from scratch telling everyone that NOW I'm on the list. I hope I can come up with good ideas this time around. I also hope I can make some money from this for a transplant. Just watch. I'm gonna wind up with a dunking booth. Wait...I know alot folks who don't like me anyway. There's a grand right there. 

Wednesday, July 14, 2004

You Wouldn't Like Me When I'm Angry

This was my mood last night after trying to work on my computer last night. I traded in the dvd player for a Compaq Presario 700 laptop plus 200 bucks Tuesday. I was told to get ethernet cable to network and to have internet service, even though I have a wireless router in the house. You know what? It didn't work. HULK SMASH!!!!!!!!! Hulk fix today so me can keep up with world. Hulk need Blackberry next. ANd why they don't make Hulk 2, huh? Hulk know reason why... Posted by Hello

Monday, July 12, 2004


Well, it's time for a SUPERMAN POST. It's a good one. If you haven't heard, video music director McG **coughhackcoughcough**

Man Of Steel movie. I wonder what he would have done with the character. Hmmmm...

The Gallery of Super-Dudes

I Hate Mondays

I know I'm writing this late (It's 11:13PM as I write this. The post will say different. Blogger Lies!) Anyway, I have a have a stress test early in the morning. I usually have one once a year, but this one is for THE LIST, as it will now be called. You want the truth, I hate stress tests. They put you on a treadmill with wires all over you while you run your butt off till you can't do it anymore. I'm not saying don't do it, but they should make it fun, y'know? Like letting you wear headphones. But that's too simple. No. They should do it THE SAM JOHNSON WAY.

You know this is gonna be f'd up.

Try this. You know that old joke about the guy who loses wieght by chasing a naked girl around the room everyday, then to really lose it they throw a gorilla in the room for fifty bucks more? Do that on a treadmill.

OR, you could try the Scooby Doo method of having a scary ghost/alien/vampire/Harlem Globetrotters chasing you, while you run in one spot for twenty minutes. I would do my Shaggy for this one, but I don't have Audio Blogger...YET.

I think the one that would work for me is have my ex-wife show up and let her whine about how much she would have done Prince if she hadn't married me. I'm runnin' like Rodney King from an L.A. beatdown. Now that's a stress test.

By the way, I promised I'd never write about my ex-wofe here. Baby, welcome to Hollywood.

Anyway, I still have one more task to go. I've got the colonoscopy in three weeks. This will not be pretty. Maybe I'll have a guest poster on that day. Any takers?

On a sad note, Isabel Sanford has passed. I know you all heard about it all day, but I had to mention it since it was part of my growing up and knowing that Black America was, well, Movin' On Up. Bless you, Weezie

Sunday, July 11, 2004

Can Y'all Do Me A Solid?

Can I borrow $186,200.91? PLEEEEASE?

Thursday, July 08, 2004


I think I have been approved for a kidney transplant.

I talked to a woman today from the Medical College Of Georgia who told me that matching funds would be available for me. In other words, If I raise one dollar, they will match it, up to ten thousand. I explained to her that I didn't want to raise any money until I knew that I would be on the list and it wouldn't be a waste of anyone's time or dollars. The woman said that if I have been approved for matrching funds, then I must have been certified by doctors to be on the list.

You know, I just want to jump around and yell "hurrah", but it feels so anticlimatic right now. I don't know why. Maybe it's because I feel like hell after dialysis today. Maybe it's because I have a Russian woman who has been e-mailing me for a while after seeing this page, saying she wants to meet me, when it could be a scam. Maybe because the guys are mad at me for taking the bills out of the house and giving them to my social worker so she can make sure I get my Medicade, while the water gets cut off because noone knew how much it was {I paid the bill in full}. I don't know.

In any rate, thanks to all of you for your prayers and support so far. It's been a long ass haul to get to this point of the journey, but the road gets tougher from here. All I ask is that you stick with me on this one, please. I promise to keep making you laugh once in a while {which, so far this week has been 0-6}, but let me warn you now. Things may get serious at the drop of a hat, so don't freak out. Keep your eyes out for the transplant fund in the next few weeks as we try to get things rolling. And once again,

thank you, especially the following...

Dave at Better Living Thru Blogging;

Tiffany at Blown Fuse (Don't let the office get to you, girl);

Monkey at The Monkey Cage ( Go, Monkey, Go!);

Mark at News From Me ( buy The DNAgents trade paperback from your local comics store. If not, buy Groo};

My freinds Bob Ruggerio, Jeff and Tina McDermott, Ronnie (Akira) Faust, My Bullet Headed, Fity Cent rapping, Got-More-Kids-Than-Me Lovin' kid brother Martin;

And, to Dave Hewitt, who stuck with me the whole way through this blog without even knowing who the Hell I was, why I take so long doing this, and if I'll ever get the girl. Who knows, Dave...You'll just have to hang around and find out. Thanks everyone. I owe you all a grape-lemon Slushie when this is all over.

Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam,Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam

Here's some great news. Mike Nichols and Eric Idol have teamed up to bring "Monty Python and The Holy Grail" to Broadway, with David Hyde Pierce, Hank Azaria, and Tim Curry as King Arthur. It's interesting that Nichols is directing this, what with his directing skills. What most folks don't know is that he was half of a fantastic comedy duo with Elaine May in the fifties and early sixies. It's nice to see Mike go back to his roots. I can't wait to see this one.

HERE IT IS!!!!!!!

Ladies and Gentlemen, this is the news I was telling you about yesterday and am happy to share with you now. I have just purchased this lovely Magnavox portable DVD player you see before you. It has a 7" LCD wide screen which is good for watching films in Cinemascope. The sound isn't too bad. I bought a farily cheap set of headphones to go with it, but the sound was fine from them. None the less, I'm happy to have made the purchase since I can now go to dialysis and not have to hear ANY judge shows, soap operas or anything from the Discovery Channel. Yes, this was the news I was talking about yesterday. It's nothing really earth shattering, but I wasn't sure I'd be able to get it. I am happy, though. At last, I get enjoy something out of all this crap called my life. Even if it's just a DVD player.I told you I was a simple guy. Posted by Hello

Wednesday, July 07, 2004

Strange Things Are Happening

I want to tell you guys some good news. Great news. But, I can't. Not just yet. It has nothing to do with a transplant, but it is something I have been wanting for a very long time. The only reason I can't say anything yet is I don't want to jinx it. It's so hard for me right now, but I've got to keep my big yap shut. I can say that today is the first day of the rest of my life as I set up the transplant fund, which I think will happen with Wacovia. The Old Pop Shop will change soon to a Tally Board as we they to get to our goal. As always, please keep watching this page for further updates. For the other thing, if this works out, you may never hear the end of it. That's all I gotta say about that.

Oh, yeah...And, I'm goin' to DragonCon. WHOO HOO!!!!!!!

Monday, July 05, 2004

Michael Moore and Me

My blog idol, Mark Evanier pointed out on his site that Michael Moore has a blog now. I checked it out and got ticked. How dare another celebrity try to make themselves hip by getting a blog. They never update them and they never have readers post comments because they now that someone will say they suck. So, in the tradition of Mr. Moore, I wrote him a letter.


I saw your movie. You delivered on that. However, let's talk about your blog.

"Hey, my first blog entry! Welcome fellow bloggers and blog readers! Blog doggers and blog loggers." If I wanted to be patronized, I'd watch Romper Room.

"As one who blogs EVERYDAY, I like to keep folks updated on what's going on like you. I'm a fellow democrat myself, but the blog is something I take seriously. If you plan on doing this, then don't take the typical celeb route by just posting when you feel like it. Get to it AT LEAST every other day. Also, a real blog has a spot where readers can add comments. If you want this to be a blog instead of just some plain old diary, then get your webmaster to put it there. If you are the honorable man you say you are, then you'll do this. I'm not doing this for democrats OR republicans. I'm doing this for bloggers everywhere who believe in what they do. You've said it before to Bush, we say it to you. Do the right thing, Mike. Thanks.

Sam Johnson"

And, THAT'S my Un-review of "Fahrenheit 9/11".

UPDATE Ok...Here's what happened. I had this post set up to launch sometime this morning. However, It must have gotten screwed up along the way and Posted three times. For those of you who saw it earlier, I apologize.

But, at least you know I'm consistant.

I Want Patton Oswalt's Gig

Hi, gang. I hope you had a great Fourth Of July. Mine was ok, I guess. Went to a cookout surrounded by folks I don't know. Got hit on by married women. Almost used my Pimp Hand on a couple of rednecks. Wow, it was swell. 'Ahem'.

Anyway, it's back to normal. I've decided I want a new job. I want to be one of the panelist on VH1's Best Week Ever. I know I could pull that gig off with a breeze. So, I'm putting some posts on their blog so they can notice me. I got great puchlines, I'm hip and and better looking than Chuck Nice. I've got a few comments there but check out this and this. You just watch, boy. I'm gonna be a smart ass soon!

Spider-Man 2.5

Ok, I'm not gonna joke with this one. It's an Official Spidey spin off. DONE WITH LEGO'S. And, It's great.

Sunday, July 04, 2004

Happy Fourth Of July!

This is why I Love America. The dvd's of the first season will be out soon and I can't wait. Thanks to RetroCrush for the pic. Hubba-Hubba... Posted by Hello

Saturday, July 03, 2004

I Need A Reminder

Hey, I got a few things to do this weekend. Will one of guys remind me to give my Un-review of "Farenheiht 9/11"? You've heard about the movie enough. I just wanna tell you about WHAT HAPPENED going to see is it, like I did with Spider-Man 2, and I wanna step out and enjoy my weekend. Thanks. You're a good kid.

What You See Is What You Get, Sugah!

I 'm having a big flashback for Saturday night. Thank God I have no life. Espn Classic ran Ali/Frazier III from 1975. I won't blow it for you if you ain't seen it. Then, the Starz Western Channel is running "More Wild, Wild West" with Robert Conrad and Ross Martin as the real James and Artemis. When it comes to those guys, Emimem was right about Will Smith. And all weekend long, TV Land is running a 48 hour marathon of The Flip Wilson Show. I grew up watching the show, since it featured prominent Black performers of the time. Right now, I'm watching an episode with Stevie Wonder. It's interesting to note that NBC has a good record of showcasing Blacks in their own shows early on, from Nat King Cole's program in 1956 to Bill Cosby in "I Spy" in 1964, to Dianne Carrol as "Julia" in 1969. Ironically, Flip's show was produced by Bob Henry, who also produced Cole's Fifteen minute program. Here's a piece from TV Party about Flip, Rev. Leroy, and of course, Geraldine. Have a great Fourth, y'all!

Friday, July 02, 2004

Marlon Brando Dies at Age 80

I just found this online. I'll give you more as we find out.

Update: According to the AP, Brando's attorney stated that the actor passed away at an L.A. hospital. The cause of death is being withheld for now. Marlon Brando was 80 years old.

KPHO Phoenix - Marlon Brando Dies at Age 80

Update @ 6:43pm est.: Ain't It Cool News has a proper tribute to Brando.

Fill in the caption on this one. I'll start off.

"Alright, I had ONE weapon of mass destrution. So what?"

"Can we take a break here? I gotta pee-pee."

"I told you Spider-Man 2 would be number one at the box office!"

"So, I'm sitting in the spider hole, and there's these guys dropping water balloons over my head. Who does that, really?"


And I'm spent.

 Posted by Hello