Sunday, October 31, 2004

Vote Or Die, Fool!

this is an audio post - click to play

Finally, the star of the show, Kanye West. He showed up on stage by himself while another rappper, Young Wun, showed up with his producer, Swizz Beats and a hypeman that looked like a Muppet on crack. Guess which act was better. More later! Posted by Hello

Here's the host of the whole shindig, Doug Banks, doin' a shimmy. Posted by Hello

Ok, here's the shots from the Doug Banks show on Friday. First up is a dance contest featuring a guy who danced like Micheal Jackson and actually had a crown of thorns on his head. The crowd started calling him "Dancing Jesus". He almost won the dang thing. Posted by Hello

Here I am meeting "American Idol" finalist now recording star Kimberly Locke at a meet and greet. I don't know who's more surprized to be there from the picture, her or me. Ok, me. Posted by Hello

Here's a family photo. Clockwise, there's Anthony, my brother Martin's wife Kim, their kids Alicia and Darien and then, Martin. I don't know whos boys those are in the background, but they aren't mine and I'm happy for it. Posted by Hello

It's Picture Time!

Here's Anthony and his wife Pam with my sister Patricia's son. If you remember seeing him before, you'll know that I've named him "Whoopisie Daisy". I still have forgotten that child's name. I am a horrible uncle. But then, I have over twenty nieces and nephews. I can't get them all right. Posted by Hello

Ahh, Halloween

Wow. I had a great Halloween Eve at the bar tonight. I could show you photos, but ummm...Well, they just ain't decent. Let's just say there were some very lovely women at the bar ans some stuff happened and the place was over capacity and the speakers blew and the ladies got naughty and I had more fun than I expected and we went over an hour and and and...

My Lord. What a night. Halloween is the best holiday ever. Next to Christmas, of course.

Saturday, October 30, 2004

this is an audio post - click to play

Friday, October 29, 2004

I'm tired...

Well, I'm beat. I didn't really get any sleep at the clinic today. I feel like I want to just pass out, but I can't. It's Friday. This means that I'll be gettting ready to head downtown to rock the stage. I can't wait. Hooo-hee...

I'll have the pics up from the Doug Banks show up later. I'm too damn tired.

this is an audio post - click to play

Early In Da Mornin'

It's about ten til five a.m. and I'n still up. Dang "Grudge". But, this is a good thing, kinda. Weas Host a syndicated morning show hosted by Doug Banks and he's in town to do his show live this morning, so if you have the show in your area, you might just hear me. Plus, he's bringing producer/rapper Kanye West with him for a special performance. If you've never heard Kanye, you are missing out on one of the best albums of the year. I'll have photos from the show later, so you can see what I mean. I may not be able to type any posts for the next couple of days, but look for audio updates on the blog coming up. TTFN!

Thursday, October 28, 2004

this is an audio post - click to play
this is an audio post - click to play

And while I'm thinking abut it...

I gotta thank all you folks for checking out those audioblogs. It really makes me feel closer to you guys by going somewhat ''live'' with this thing. Since I started this almost a week ago now though, it seems more folks are picking it up. Pandora, at her site was the first person I was with it, Then, just tonight I noticed that Mike Sterling and The Hulk,err, Kevin had set up accounts as well. Ladies and gentlemen, THE REAL SAM JOHNSON HAS STARTED A REVOULTION! Join us and together we can rule the galaxy! BWAAA-HAAA-HAAA! 'snort'...

Hollow Weenie

That Dang "Grudge" still has me awake, SOOOOO....

Ahh, Halloween, when a young man's fancy turns to scaring the living crap outta someone. Oh, and it's ok to check out chicks in skimpy costumes and not get a poke in the snoot.

Last year, I dressed as an washed up 80's rocker, mullet and all (pick one). It when well, but this time I'm going classy for Hallowween. This year, I will be The Phantom of The Nightclub. Cape, hip mask and all. I was going to be a superhero, but I want to meet women, so I thought I'd be sexy this year. If you think about it, Ron Pearlman played the Beast in Beauty and the Beast on TV for three years and got tons of woman jumping on his bandwagon. As soon as he took off the makeup, NOTHING. Not a thing. It's obvious he's gotta get latex slapped on for him to get any.

I remember years ago ago as a kid in the 70's, walking from house to house in those bad costumes mom got from K-mart. I never got to be a superhero or a character like Yogi Bear. Nope, we were broke. I got the cheap ones. Like the Devil, with a face mask that had no nose holes. Or the time she forgot to get me a costume and I had to do with her makeup that year and beace the most f-ed up ghoul you ever laughed at. The only good part was getting the candy Man, the last time I trick or treated, which was 1977 ( I was 11 and Mom thought I was getting to old to put on a costume to get candy. YOU ARE NEVER TOO OLD TO ASK FOR CANDY, MOM!), I cleaned up. I wound up with what must have been THREE POUNDS of sweets that night. If I was going to get too old to go out trick or treating, I was going to go with a sugar rush. The only bad part of that night was some old broad gave us PECANS she had gotten from her front tree and shut the door before we could raise a stink. Well, she got her pecans back alright. IN SPADES.

I wish I could still go trick or treating. I don't have any kids, so it wouldn't really work as well. But could you imaging an adult coming up to your house by themselves asking for candy? "Look lady. The kids, there down the street and all and, uhhh, I thought I'd just go on ahead and ask before they got here. Whatja got in the bowl there? Oh, are those Ju Ju Bee's? I like those. Gimmie some of those there, but not the black ones. They stick to my teeth alot. Oh, and have you got them circus peanuts? Nobody around here got those this time around."

So I know you gotta have your trick or treat memories. Let's hear 'em. Cadies, costumes, the works...

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

The Grude against Uppity People

this is an audio post - click to play

It's Official!

Well, good news. I got the call from the guys at WEAS and I'm back on the air this Saturday from 4-pm. It'll be interesting, since I'll have to do the club thing later that night, so we'll see how many folks will follow m e from the station to the club.

On separate note, I'm not sure how many of you saw "Team America: World Police" yet. Yesterday was my second time. From the looks of the box office take, not alot of folks are going. But, I will say you're in for a treat. It's one of the funniest movies I've seen all year. If you're expecting this to be a Pro Kerry/Pro Bush Movie, forget it. This is a Pro America Movie and the hell with the rest of the world. After watching for a few minutes, you almost forget it's all done with puppets until something reminds you that they all have stings. The controversial sex scene will definitly do that. Yes, it IS dirty, no dirtier that you playing with naked Barbie making it with G.I. Joe. Ken was never that macho. When this does come to DVD, expect it to be a cult hit. Even the music is worthwhile. I promise, you will laugh.

Ok, I gotta run. I'm off to the see "The Grudge" with friends. I'll have an audio post later about last night's benifit for The Savannah Film Festival and why I hate stuck up shoe gazers. Talk to you soon!

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

Monday, October 25, 2004

Oh, Montana!

I've noticed something as of recent. I have the entire state of Montana reading this blog.

If you check out the first audiopost, there are no more than SIX Montanians or Montaninites or or however they call themselves (Please, this isn't an insult. I just don't know what to call a person living in Montana) leaving a post. It's kinda cool, really. I mean, knowing that there're loads of folks out there checking you out. But, a STATE?

So, would I ever move to Montana? Well, I would like to visit there one day, before winter kicks in. There's lots of wonderful land out there and I'd love to get a horse and ride some it. But, gimmie my hometown of Savannah, Ga. It's just like me: Not too big and kinda loud but good lookin' nonetheless. Maybe one day, I'll be able to take that trip and my friends there in Montana will welcome me there. They're more than welcome to stop by my place and I'll be happy to go to The Lady & Son's Restaraunt with them anytime.

A Big Thanks!

Thanks to everyone who left comments about the audioblogs. Yes, they will continue and I hope to at least post those at least twice a week. Special thanks go to Dave Hewitt who called me. The sad part is I got his nuber and wanted to talk to him off the air, but I wound up losing the number. I really would like to talk to you soon, Dave. You've been here the longest, I think. So I want to hear your opinions.

Other than that, I've found a great new site. I think it's supposed to be funny. Hell, it better be funny since I came up with it. But, have you ever wondered what some celebs do with their free time? I figured one of these guys would try to look hip and get a blog of their own. Somehow, I think would look this.

And Now, Bed...

this is an audio post - click to play

Sunday, October 24, 2004

Saturday, October 23, 2004

I'm Nervous

It's one more day until The Real Sam Johnson Show on WEAS FM Sunday from 4-8 pm. I haven't done radio in four years, which means I'm starting from scratch. It's not a talk show, but I'll talk phone calls and play requests from time to time. No Lou Rawls, but still good music. I just hope I don't come across as a fuddy duddy who doesn't know what he's talking about.

Like I said, it's not a talk show, so it won't be like the show here, but I will be as funny and topical as I can, while trying to hold on to the core audience. So, if for some reason that you do tune in and it sounds like Bernie Mac, that'll be me. I'll be taping the show and see later if I can post some audio files on the page soon for you guys. Look out, FCC. I've come back to piss you off again!

Sorry, Gang

What with me getting ready for my new show and the way things at dialysis has been the past couple of days, I haven't been posting. I just left the bar a few moments ago and had to get a bite to eat before I got sick. I haven't eaten since, well, Friday morning, so you know I've been felling it. I promise to have something funny for you quickly. Just hold tight...

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

Kibbles and Bitz

I start training for my new Sunday show tomorrow. It's too bad they don't stream radio stations online like they used to, otherwise you could here me. BUT, if you want, the requestline number is 912-947-0093. You could call up between 4-8 pm, eastern of course, and we can yack for a second or two. Cool, huh?

So, I'm watching Boston win the ALCS and all I can say is, wicked funny. All it took was to trade Nomar and they got the series. I would say everyone in Boston is getting drunk right now, but they've been that way since 1776. But, now they can drink AND they have a reason to party. Braves Fan.

It's official: Brandon Routh IS Superman, according to Variety. I wish Bryan Singer, his cast and crew the best of luck on this project. The story deals with Superman returning to Earth after leaving for six years, following the continuity of the first two films. Sad to think that Richard Pryor and Robert Vaughn doesn't exist on Earth anymore.

Hey, are you guys using the blogroll and the Old Time Radio station below? I have been too busy to bust down to add anymore names and I have ALOT of sites I want to link, or at least the ones that have linked to me. I don't want you to think that I only have one favorite, or it's a personal one. So out of fairness, I'll change it as soon as I can.

I know I'm late on this, but did anyone see Jon Stewart bust on the guys on Crossfire? Hell, yeah!

Notes to friends: Jeff, Tina...If you're reading this, I miss you guys. Can we go to lunch this weekend? Gwen, sorry I never called you about the new baby. Congrats! Mark, hope your wrist is better. We need more GROO!

I just bought The Nutty Professor, The Bellboy, and The Errand Boy on DVD. If you love Jerry Lewis, or just want to bust a gut laughing, get these!

I think I'm going to go with my real name on the radio. I know way too many folks in this town to call myself MC Pee Pee Pants or crap like that.

Well, I gotta get some sleep. Talk to you tomorrow!

I'm Kinda Better...

But I still feel bad. Sniffles and all, so I'm getting over it. I'm sorry I forget to tell you that you have to register for free to read the old news story a few posts down, but I do think it's very funny and thought you would like it. I was sick when I told you to read it. That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.

Now, as for that news I was telling you about yesterday. I am a disc jockey again. No just a club DJ, but a FULL BLOWN BROADCASTER ONE MORE TIME. I'll start work at WEAS FM, 93.1 here in Savannah starting this Sunday from 4-8pm. It's a Hip Hop and R&B format, which is cool, since I'll get caught up with the music. Plus, we're talking 100,000 watts o' power, so if you drive down I-95 in the Ga./Fla coast, you can definitly pick it up for hours. So, yeah. The Old Guy's must still have it to get the call from the number one station here in town. I figured I must be gwetting to tired to play the game, but they called me up from the bench to take another swing at the bat.

I think the only thing I need is a radio name. See, since it's Hip Hop and all, I gotta feeling I need to look, umm, what's the word I'm looking for here? Ahh, yes...Hip. So, help me think of a good radio name, folks. Here's some choices:

Sam Bamm

D.J. Sammy

Uncle Sam

The REAL Sam Johnson

Sam Van Damn

George Went

If you can think of a better one, let me know. I tried this thing called The Hip Hop Name Generator and got MC Baby Bastard of the underground, but I don't know if that would go well. Let me know if you get something better.

Monday, October 18, 2004


i'm typing this wat because i have a bad cold that's got me in bed, plus i had a flu shot. if you're a kidney patient, or if you have a bad immune system, you get your shot before others. sorry folks. what gets me about me being sick is that this is my 300th post and i wanna celebrate, but i can't. i'm typing with one left finger now and i'm right handed. that's how bad i feel now. i got great news today too, but i'm too dang ill to talk about it. maybe tomorrow...

i'm going to pass out now. night.

Sunday, October 17, 2004

Is He Superman?

Just days after the death of Christopher Reeve, word has leaked that Warner Bothers has found their new Superman, after years of hassle and Nick Cage.Unknown Brandon Routh has taken the role, allegedly. This could either be a red herring or it could be a ploy by the WB to get more heat from the film, due to Reeve's death. I think if this guy works out in the gym after three months, he could fit the suit. We'll see in the next fdew days if the story is true. Until then, here's the story that broke it.

As Serious As A Heart Attack

Here's a link to a story the Savannah Morning News did about ME and my health problems about 6 years ago, when I was programming two radio stations, had a nagging wife and a weight issue. The station now stinks without me, the wife is now gone and the weight is coming off. I've never felt better.

Looking back at the story, I had completely forgotten about it until I did a Google for the previous post. I never thought I was that smart or funny then, but I guess I was in 1998. My favorite quote from the story:"I've always had ham in me," he said, explaining the joking spirit that led him to his current career at Cool 98.3 FM, then recognizing his statement's double meaning.

"Which is probably why I had this stroke," he added

Re: Your Answers

You know, you guys could have asked me anything. I hoped alot of you would. But, you didn't. If you wanted me to ask you something, I would have. You can still ask me anything, but know this...

I'm very hurt this first time around. Don't touch me...I'm upset.

Here we go.

My Man Monkey ( some folks have called him "The White Sam Johnson") had a few questions:

''Tell us about something you did once in your life that you regret more than anything else - something so bad you'd go back in time to rectify it?"

I don't regret anything I ever did in my life. I've had my good moments and bad one, but nothing I can say I would change. Everything is a lesson in life andf I don't want to back to school again.

Ok...there was this ugly chick I went to bed with years ago. It was great until the lights came on...Ewww.

You knew I was gonna go there.

"What exactly is on your computer desk right now - and WHY?"

I have two PC's. One's a laptop, the other's fullsized and old. On the laptop table, there's bills that are calling me to love them. On the big desk, stacks of old comics and magazines. The reason why...'Cause I'm a slob.

"Have you ever shoplifted?"

Yes, three days before Christmas, 1979 at David's Supermarket. I didn't get whoppin', I got worse. I didn't get my presents until January 15th, 1980. AND, they took back my Cylon Warrior to the store.

Kevin said:

"You stole this from me! I will sue you 5 pop songs ever?"

For that my friend, I shall refer you to an older post about putting together a mix tape, including a top ten. Just take any five outta those and I'll be fine. More questions later, I hope (ahem readers), but now read the next post above...

Friday, October 15, 2004

Time For The Weekend...

I can't stay long, as it's Friday night and I gotta step, so a few quick ones. To Dave Hewitt, all is forgiven. To Pandora, yes, it's all NBC's fault for Last Comic Standing this time around and they know it. To Monkey, love the new banner, baby! To the comic fans, Judd Winnick has done a good job on "Green Arrow". I know his support of AIDS help and research will help in gradually growing Mia as a character (more on this later, Sam Fans!) To David, I know who one of those quotes comes from! And, to you deear reader, do have a great weekend. Don't forget, I'm playing Answer Man this weekend. If you have ANY questions you want to ask me, go for it. don't leave me having, as I'll need something to do on Sunday.

Thursday, October 14, 2004

Let's Turn Up The Houselites...

My mind hurts after watching the debates tonight. It could be the matching suits. So, figured I'd make it easy on you tonight. So, I thought it would be cool to answer somew questions you may have. So, here we go...

Oh...We don't have any questions. Well, Kevin answered questions at his site. Here's how he did it. And please, ask away. I don't want to look like a doofus and noone asks. ALthough, I have a feeling that that will happen.

OH, YEAH...Don't be the only person to ask either. ASK LOTS OF QUESTIONS. Just beacause I have a feeling of brain block coming.

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

The Winner Of Last Comic Standing IS...



So, how did I know before you? Well, NBC got the rating back for the show and it wasn't pretty. It was their fault anyway for rushing the show back so soon. The finals will be shown on Comedy Central this weekend, however so you can root for THE LOSERS! HA! I TOL' YOU ALONZO WAS GON' WIN DAT THANG!YEAH, WHAT!? I'm sorry...After the VH1 thing, I've been wildin' out. Damn that rap music.

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

The World MUST Be Coming To An End...

I know you're not watching VH1's Hip Hop Honors. I feel it. it's not a White Thing or a Black Thing. It's a "Where the Hell is 'The Surreal Life' Thing.

You gotta realize, I'm from the ORIGINAL Hip Hop Generation. Kool Herc, Grandmaster Flash, Rock Steady, Busy Bee, Kurtis Blow. All that. One of my proudest moments was to be able to hang out with Russel Simmons during Run-DMC's Rasing Hell tour in 1998, talking about rap music and it's impact here in Savannah, Georgia.

So, when the VH1 special started with the Beastie Boys doing Run-DMC's "Sucker MC's", we(my roommate Joey and myself) went nuts. Especially Joey, who's only 25, White, and couldn't EVEN walk into Harlem without getting a staredown, but is as well versed in rap as much as I am. We were going wild watching this. The fact that it's on VH1 ALONE completely gave us a pimp slap to the side of the head.

So, if you don't know hip hop, if you want to understand what I know about rap, watch this show.


Monday, October 11, 2004

A Loss For Words...

It's taken me long enough to say something...Only because I didn't know how. But, I'll try.

This weekend, my brother Anthony turned fifty years old. It was a gala celebration, bringing my brothers and sisters together. It's been nearly eight years since I'd seen most of them. We wound up laughing and crying and very happy to see each other. The best part for me was to see how much I had grown up, knowing that I'm not a little boy anymore, and that I garner as much respect that I want or deserve.

So, around 2:15 a.m. eastern, when I heard about the death of Christopher Reeve, it hit me like a ton. When the first Superman film came out, I never got to see it in the theater because no one took me. But, I followed it as much as I could, always running to the TV or grabbing the newspaper whenever it was mentioned. I grew in awe of the man who would be the Man of Steel, knowing that this would make him the biggest star in the world. And, when I finally did get to see the film on Home Box Office in 1980, I was literally blown away by the sheer site of the man. Chris Reeve was the coolest guy in the world to me.

The last time I knew that I had to grow up was when I heard word that my mother passed on October 25, 1982, just one week after her 50th birthday. After this past weekend, oddly enough,

I've officially become an adult.

Maybe he WAS Superman after all...

 Posted by Hello

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Stop It

The wires are saying that it was Superman that just died. IT WAS CHRIS REEVE THAT HAS DIED. GODDAMN IT. - 'Superman' star Christopher Reeve dead at 52 - Oct 11, 2004

No... - 'Superman' star Christopher Reeve dead at 52 - Oct 11, 2004

It`s Good to Be in DC

The boys at Jib Jab are at it again and this time, their reminding you to vote. Here's "It's Good To Be In D.C.". Enjoy.

Sunday, October 10, 2004

'Cause You Know You Don't Watch BET...

In honor of VH1 running the history of Hip Hop and rap music this week ( a great programming move on their part, I think), I present to you now from The Humanity Critic, Hip Hop's Biggest Bloopers and Blunders. I know that most of you will have questions afterwards, so don't be afraid to ask afterwards.

Saturday, October 09, 2004

We Are Family...More Or Less

I have a family reunion this weekend as my brother Anthony turns 50 years old this today and

the whole gang is coming to Savannah to celebrate. Which means I'm either going to go crazy or get crazy, which ever comes first. I have a feeling I'm going to be catching Hell somehow for something and I'll be treated like a pariah. If I were you, I'd have warm blanket and a hug ready for me by the next post.

Friday, October 08, 2004

I just have to share this picture with you. It's an actual phenomenom called moonlighting, which is about as cool as heatlitghting, but not as cool as "Moonlighting" was in the first season.The photo was taken by Marc-Andre Besel. I gotta credit the guy for catching this one. Make this YOUR NEW DESKTOP PHOTO! Posted by Hello

Thursday, October 07, 2004

It's so bad, it's still bad. Posted by Hello

Legend Of The Superheroes

Sometime in the late 70's, Fred Silverman went from being Head of Programming of ABC to Head of Programming of NBC. It would be a taunting job. Silverman had put together great shows for ABC. "Happy Days", "Charlie's Angels", "Starsky and Hutch" and others. Could he do the same with NBC? Well, no. He was terrible. Does anyone remember "Supertrain"? "Hello, Larry"? "The Harlem Globetrotters On Gilligan's Island?" You wouldn't have if I didn't mention it? This was Silverman's fault. Oh yeah, he made Gary Coleman a star, too. Can't forget that.

"Legends Of The Superheroes" was his fault, too. Superheroes were coming back in vogue, with "Superman The Movie" doing well at the box office and both Wonder Woman and The Hulk bringing in rating, NBC decided to do superheroes as well. I'm not sure who got together with who, whether NBC called Hanna-Barera about it or vice versa, but somehow the shows got on the air on Thursday nights for two weeks in 1979 at 8pm, against "Welcome Back, Kotter" and "The Waltons".

The shows opened with Gary Owens narrating that for centuries, there have been men and women dedicating themselves to fighting crime. Well, the only crime here is the writing. Ted Bundy style. Now I have to admit, the heroes and villains, minus the Batman crew, look ok for seventies standards. But the show itself is just camp to the hilt. Adam West, Burt Ward, and
Frank Gorshin return to the roles that stereotyped them for life, while Charlie Callas plays Sinestro, 70's stand by comic Jeff Altman portrays Weather Wizard, Howard Morris, better known as Ernest T. Bass from The Andy Griffith Show and Your Show Of Shows plays Dr. Sivanna, among other villains like Mordu and Giganta. Unknowns played heroes such as Green Lantern, Flash, Hawkman, The Huntress, Black Canary and Captain Marvel.

The first episode deals with the heroes having one hour (how neat) to find a bomb that could destroy the world. In it, there's foot chases, jet ski chases, heroes chained to tire racks, Captain Marvel seeing a shrink, The Flash posing to look like he's running, Solomon Grundy posing as a gas station attendant, and Marsha Warfield from "Night Court" giving commentary. "Alice, remember me telling to about that great big guy? Yeah, well, he just dumped the one with the wings." Once again, the heroes save the day and network gets the rating back, which weren't that good.

The next week, the superheroes face and even bigger challenge in what's called, "The Roast". That's right, it's time for a good old fashioned ribbing and ya mama jokes. This was a visual beatdown, hosted by Ed McMahon. No crap. One liners like, "I haven't seen people dressed like this since I had dinner at Alice Cooper's house" are the norm for this one. What's interesting is that the villains are showing up at Hero HQ roasting the good guys. I supposed no one told them that if they actually showed up for this thing, they could be arrested, or worse, as the new comic book mini series Identity Crisis shows, get the crap beat out of them, then lobotomized.

You know this is the seventies when they have a guy showed up called Ghettoman. Imagine J.J. Evans with superpowers. "When I look around me , I see a whole lotta super, but not too many brothas. I mean, a few years ago, the NAACP asked y'all to intergrate, but we don't feel the Green Lantern qualifies as colored." Yeah, that'll make the show look hip and against THE MAN.

There's singing, dancing, comedy. All the things that qualifies as superhero action to me. It was so bad, it stuck in my mind as I was growing up, thinking I would never see that again. You have to remember, this was before VCRs were affordable. Back then, you only had a knob to turn and a TV Guide. If you missed it then, that was too damn bad. So when I found this horror on tape, I had to have it. Then somehow, I wound up losing the tape after showing it to friends as a laugh. I decided while going to Dragon*Con this year to purchase a new copy, so I can say not only do I have a childhood memory locked away, but a reminder if how truly bad TV can be.

But, if you think this was awful, you should see "The Star Wars Holiday Special". I've got that one, too. Somebody's gotta keep this stuff away from the public.

"Now, Here's My Plan..."

About a year ago, I wrote about how the Goodlife Television Network was running the color episodes of the Honeymooners. This season, they've outdone themselves. I've got their full season here, and man, I feel just like a kid again. "I-Spy" AND "The Man" & "The Girl From U.N.C.L.E" ALL IN THE SAME WEDNESDAY NIGHT! I nearly dropped when I flipped the remote from "Smallville" to find a young Robert Culp and an angry young Cosby on my screen.I feel bad for anyone born after 1971. "All In The Family" may have made televison entertainment more relevant, but it sure as heck took out the fun content of it all. Try to sell a show like "The Six Million Dollar Man" now, they'll give it six weeks before they drop it for another. I miss old TV. 'sigh'

Anyways, if you deal with satillite, I feel bad for you. Comcast owns this channel, so you'll be left out. Look, you guys have got Trio and Boomerang, so this is a fair trade. Now, if someone would only run "Get Smart", I'd never leave the house again. So, here's today's poll: What classic TV show would you never get off of the couch to watch?

Speaking of TV, I got hold of a few cool shpws while I was in Dragon*Con last month, including what could be possible one of the worst ones of all time: Challenge Of The Superheroes. It's as Bad as you think it is. So bad, I love it. I'll give you a review soon.

Wednesday, October 06, 2004

courtesy of Posted by Hello

"Let's go...While we're young."

" I went to the doctor, you know him...Dr. Vinnie Boombatz! He told me I had six months to live. I said I want a second opinion. He said, "Ahh, you're ugly, too."

Rodney Dangerfield was one of the funniest guys out there, even thiough it took a while for him to be a hit. I mean, Caddyshack came out in, what, 1980? He'd been on Carson time and again before that. But it teaches you, if you have patience, things will come your way.

He deserves all the fame in the world. He got it. In my opinion, he taught me to be a smart ass. Thank you, Rodney. You made the A-list. Thanks for the heads up, Dave.

Why do I feel like I lost my favorite uncle now?

Monday, October 04, 2004

Almost Famous

I've been seeing things saying that blogging has become a phenomenon. It's made it's way now as a category on "Jeopardy". WHOO-HOOEY.

Make it stop.

Bad Sam. How dare you say that. WELL, THAT"S RIGHT, BLAHZEY BLAHZEY BLAHZEY you know the words.

See, it's mainstream media crap like that that kills it. Soon, everyone and their mother will be doing this. This is what Warhol was talking about when he said that everyone will have their fifteen minutes of fame. We already have that. It's called Reality TV. Where folks eat Rocky Mountain Oysters and trade wives and get fixed up by gay men, all on the same show.

I'm just scared that the whole thing is going to implode at some point. It happens with everything megahot. Remember Pet Rocks? Beanie Babies? Vanilla Ice?

My point exactly.

I did this at first to get crap off my chest that had been weighing me down for a long time. Then, I thought about it and thought that folks could be really reading this thing, so I made it more of a humor/pop culture blog. I'm still not sure 'bout that whole humor thing, but the boys at R&D are working on it. The thing is, there are going to be folks out there who decide to jump on the bandwagon and just have a blog to have one. AND JUST LET IT SIT THERE. You know what I'm talking about. The person that takes up bandwidth to just put something down online to look hip maybe once or twice and then POOF! You don't see them for days, weeks, months, et al. I can put up at least three or four links now of sites that are doing that, but I don't want to embarrass them. One of them is a good friend of mine who says he doesn't really have anything to say of importance. Well, I say...This is a harsh word that I don't thing I've ever used on this site due to kids reading, so cover their eyes for it.


If you're going to do a blog, you have a responibilty to post often, because someone IS going to read it. I don't care if you just post about having a lousy breakfast, POST DANGGIT! This is not some kinda joke, this blogging thing. I should know. I put up a few things and just left it alone, never realizing ANYONE would really pay attention to what I was putting out there. Then, I stopped. Weeks later, I got a letter from Dave Hewitt (where ya been, Dave?), who wondered where the hell I was and why did I stop. It hit me then that I have to continue, if not just for myself, but for Dave and all the others out there who somehow like this page. Since then, I've been improving on this page everyday to make it THE 5,341,678th BEST BLOG IN THE WORLD!

Remember, Uncle Ben once said, "With great power comes great responsibility". He meant that for EVERYONE. Including bloggers. If you already have one, please. Don't stop writing. If you're looking to have one, look at others and think really hard before making a commitment to do one. Everyone has something to say. Please, say it loud and in Times font often. Don't let blogging go the way of the MC Hammer.

Sunday, October 03, 2004

Shatner Sings...Again!

I just got finished watching the premiere of "Boston Legal" with William Shatner in what could be cult hit for his portrayal of attorney Denny Crane. I dig the fact that he basically plays an exaggeration of himself in the role. A larger than life character who could care less about everyone else. All you need now is a green woman and Adrian Zmed to push around and the show would be even bigger.

Shatner has been many men to many people, if not the least, a...Well, vocalist. His first album, "The Transformed Man", wasn't a million seller. Hell, it probably never even sold as much as Nimoy's album, but it was a classic, somehow. If anything, "Mr. Tambourine Man" ROCKS. If you're in the mood for that sorta thing.

Big Willie's got a new album coming this Tuesday called "Has Been", his first full work since 1968, and let me tell you, it's wonderful. Yes, it's spoken word for the most part, but it's produced by Ben Folds, who is one of the best undertheradar singer/songwriters out there and deserves more press. I know he will after this. The album has it's funny moments, with tunes like "You'll Have Time", which mocks life itself and Bill reminding you that "By the time you hear this, I... May be next", and a cover of Pulp's "Common People". But, it also has it's very somber moments, as in "What Have You Done", which recreates how Shatner's third wife, Nerine, drowned in their swimming pool. I'm not going to say this is the album of the year, because I'm not a music reviewer like my pals Jeff McDermott and Bobby Ruggerio. I play what I like though and I'm going to buy this album. It's that good to me. Here, take a listen. I promise, you'll like it or I swear I'll show up here in the blog IN A MUMU.That's right, I said it. I MEAN IT. Just forget that last one since it's been 26 years ago and we'll be fine.

Saturday, October 02, 2004

Micheal Moore Hates America

Here's an interview from Ain't It Cool, talking about a new documentary telling you that Micheal Moore may not be up to snuff when it come to telling the truth. But, I have a feeling that most of you knew that. I may be liberal for the most in my views, but I have my own opinions on the guy. This film does, too.

Ain't It Cool News - View Article

Ahhh, something new has been added!

I love to do the upkeep on the The Real Show. My old man was a tv repairman (you remember those guys?) who was always telling me that I should take up his job. I am so glad I didn't. Besides, I was lousey at it anyways. If I worked on it, either you would have been picking up unauthorized government signals or you would have no picture at all. I also no nothing about cars. So, don't ask me what the converter does. I crank, it moves, end of story.

So, when i got home from The Bar Bar last night, I added a few things for your entertainment. One is The Blogroll, where you can link you favorite sites to the page. It's been long coming, so I hope to make it worth while, especially for bloggers who deserve the recognition. All I ask is that if I add you, gotta add me to yours. It's only fair.

Another is the archives. I've made them monthly instead of weekly. Frankly, it takes up less room. I had that way originally so if you missed the week before, you could go back to that one to check it out. I think this is much nicer now though, since I post more often now than previous.

The best addition is a personal favorite that I want to share with you. It's the Radio Spirits Old Time Radio Station. Old time Radio has been a bit of a hobby of mine for awhile. Honestly, I'd rather listen to The Jack Benny Program than According To Jim anyday, plus it's something you can get the entire family into. The shows work on Windows Media and the best part is it updates everyday, so it's always different. You can even purchace thenshown that your listening to, which greedy as it is, is cool since I get a percentage of the sale. That part, I'm proud to say will go toards The Sam Johnson's Gettin' A Kindey Fund! That's right! The fundraising starts NOW.

There will be other events and items to buy coming down the line, but this is the first. So, listen in and buy up. The station, along with the blogroll are on the left of the page, just under the archives. I hope you like the new stuff as much as I like adding them. If you have any suggestions, let me know. Thanks for reading.

Friday, October 01, 2004

Place SNL catchprase here.

With SNL returning for it's 29th season premier on, when else , Saturday night, I decided to find a list of every person who has ever played on the show and remember what bits they were in.


Fred Armisen (2002-present)

Dan Aykroyd (1975-1979)

Peter Aykroyd (1979-1980)

Morwenna Banks (1994-1995)

Jim Belushi (1983-1985)

John Belushi (1975-1979)

Jim Breuer (1995-1998)

A. Whitney Brown (1985-1991)

Beth Cahill (1991-1992)

Dana Carvey (1986-1993)

Chevy Chase (1975-1977)

Ellen Cleghorne (1991-1995)

George Coe (1975-1976)

Billy Crystal (1984-1985)

Jane Curtin (1975-1980)

Joan Cusack (1985-1986)

Tom Davis (1977-1980)

Denny Dillon (1980-1981)

Jim Downey (1979-1980)

Robert Downey Jr (1985-1986)

Brian Doyle-Murray (1979-1982)

Rachel Dratch (1999-present)

Robin Duke (1980-1984)

Nora Dunn (1985-1990)

Christine Ebersole (1981-1982)

Dean Edwards (2001-2003)

Chris Elliott (1994-1995)

Jimmy Fallon (1998-present)

Siobhan Fallon (1991-1992)

Chris Farley (1990-1995)

Will Ferrell (1995-2002)

Tina Fey (2000-present)

Will Forte (2002-present)

Al Franken (1985-1986; 1977-1980; 1987-1995)

Janeane Garofalo (1994-1995)

Ana Gasteyer (1996-2002)

Gilbert Gottfried (1980-1981)

Mary Gross (1981-1985)

Christopher Guest (1984-1985)

Anthony Michael Hall (1985-1986)

Brad Hall (1982-1984)

Rich Hall (1984-1985)

Darrell Hammond (1995-present)

Phil Hartman (1986-1994)

Jan Hooks (1986-1991)

Yvonne Hudson (1980-1981)

Melanie Hutsell (1991-1994)

Victoria Jackson (1986-1992)

Chris Kattan (1995-2003)

Tim Kazurinsky (1980-1984)

Laura Kightlinger (1994-1995)

David Koechner (1995-1996)

Gary Kroeger (1982-1985)

Matthew Lawrence (1980-1981)

Julia Louis-Dreyfus (1982-1985)

Jon Lovitz (1985-1990)

Norm MacDonald (1993-1998)

Gail Matthius (1980-1981)

Michael McKean (1993-1995)

Mark McKinney (1994-1997)

Tim Meadows (1990-2000)

Laurie Metcalf (1980-1981)

Seth Meyers (2001-present)

Dennis Miller (1985-1991)

Jerry Minor (2000-2001)

Finesse Mitchell (2003-present)

Jay Mohr (1993-1995)

Tracy Morgan (1996-2003)

Garrett Morris (1975-1980)

Eddie Murphy (1980-1984)

Bill Murray (1976-1980)

Mike Myers (1988-1995)

Kevin Nealon (1986-1995)

Laraine Newman (1975-1980)

Don Novello (1978-1980; 1985-1986)

Michael O'Donoghue (1975-1979)

Cheri Oteri (1995-2000)

Chris Parnell (1998-present)

Joe Piscopo (1980-1984)

Amy Poehler (2001-present)

Randy Quaid (1985-1986)

Colin Quinn (1995-2000)

Gilda Radner (1975-1980)

Jeff Richards (2001-present)

Ann Risley (1980-1981)

Chris Rock (1990-1993)

Charles Rocket (1980-1981)

Tony Rosato (1980-1982)

Maya Rudolph (1999-present)

Adam Sandler (1990-1995)

Horatio Sanz (1998-present)

Tom Schiller (1979-1980)

Rob Schneider (1990-1994)

Paul Shaffer (1979-1980)

Molly Shannon (1994-2001)

Harry Shearer (1979-1980; 1984-1985)

Martin Short (1984-1985)

Sarah Silverman (1993-1994)

Robert Smigel (1991-1993)

David Spade (1990-1996)

Pamela Stephenson (1984-1985)

Ben Stiller (1988-1989)

Julia Sweeney (1990-1994)

Terry Sweeney (1985-1986)

Kenan Thompson (2003-present)

Danitra Vance (1985-1986)

Dan Vitale (1985-1986)

Nancy Walls (1995-1996)

Damon Wayans (1985-1986)

Patrick Weathers (1980-1981)

Fred Wolf (1995-1997)

Alan Zweibel (1979-1980)

Ben Affleck's hosting. I gotta work.

Just a thought...

You know that woman in the Valtrex commercial? Do you think she still gets work or is does she get typecasted these days? HMMMMM...