Wednesday, July 23, 2008

HOW TO KEEP UP: Viva La Prozac!

I like posting my True Life adventures for folks to read as most of the stories are cautionary tales of what not to do. I know that there are the ones who shake their heads and say to themselves, "How in the name of Joe Peschi does he do it?" Well, I can not let the world in on a little secret that I might have kept hidden for a bit.

Prozac does wonders.

Think for a moment on this one. You lead a busy, hectic life. You work, you take care of the home and the pressures of the world just build up on you. How do you get though it all? There's many different ways, and at least half of them illegal in about 22 states. The only choice you have other than climbing a clock tower with a BB gun is seeing a doctor an d getting a prescription for an antidepressant sush as Prozac, Zoloft, or any leagal drug that will calm your happt butt down just like I did.

It was a road I never really want to go down months ago, taking a mood altering drug to make me feel better about life. I had no choice in the matter, considering the situation I'm going through. I never considered that going back to college, working at the job and doing dialysis at the same time would beat me down, but it has. It got to the point to where I would have major anxiety attacks and could breathe. There would be points where I thought I was having a heart attack. The worst happened when I caught a case of it during a Speech class. They wound up calling an abulance to the campus and yet I wound up not having to go again. I felt so stupid that day that I knew something had to be done. That is when I talked to my doctor and let him know about the attacks and earlier this year is when I began taking Prozac. Since then to be truthfull, I have never felt better.

Now, I'm not telling everyone to go out there and go down the same road I have. I mean if it feels good, do it by all means. I just know that the stuff works for me quite well. I take a low dose of it once a day, only 5mg. of the stuff, but that's all I need. I haven't had an attack for a long time now so that's good. The funniest thing though is the fact that I don't get super mad anymore and not even angry. For the most, I just say "screw it" and move on. I mean I have truly mellowed out. Yes, gas is now over 300 dollars a barrel and the price of tea in China has gone up in a major way, but I seem to be fine with that. I'm working more hours at work, I get my classwork done, and other than very crappy chairs at the dialysis clinic that are killing me more than having only 30 & of my kidneys actually working, I'm quite fine with that now. I thought I would have to go to the hospital last night ecause a friend of mine thought that after my left leg went dead as a doornail in the clinic, she thought I might have a blood clot and I needed to get to a surgeon and stat. For a brief momet, I thought about that while I went to work later that day and told the guys at the station that it may happen. All the while I was cool with the fact that this thing could run though my veins, hit my heart and kill me quick. The next morning which is today, I called the clinic and let them know what was going on and they told me if I didn't feel any pain (of which I didn't) then it wasn't a clot but just maybe a pinched nearve from sitting on my ass four and a half hours in a crappy chair every other day of the week and that I would be okay. I was relieved, but relaxed the whole time. This is how I know the Prozac is working for me.

As I said before, do what you have to do to feel better. If you have to just walk away from something to catch a breath, do it. If you need that bottle of Merlot to get you through the night, go right ahead. If a good cry is what it takes to make things better, I understand. Times are tough and people have to do their best sometimes not to punch another human in the face for all the stuff that happens in the world and that's one of the illegal things you can't do. As for me, if this it what it takes to help me cope with life then I welcome Prozac and all its drugginess. It's either that or worry about how to pay the rent next month. I'd rather be stoned when I pay that bill.

No comments: