Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Well, What Happened?

Sorry for the delay on this. I can say once again that the surgery went quite well and I can walk hard once again for the first time in years. Like I may hav esaid here before, it was a minimally evasive cut in a certain area, then a tube was inserted for the angioplasty. For those of you with weak stomachs, I hate to gross you out but it is what it is.

I do have two surgery stoires for you, however. The first one being that my brother Anthony took me to the hospital around seven in the morn for the proceedure. I went into room after checking in to change into a gown, then a nurse came in. "Mr. Johnson, it's time to shave you before you go into the O.R.", she said to me while holding an electric razor. All of a sudden, I knew there was one little thing that I forgot to do the night before. I didn't eat after midnight or drank, but I did forget to...Well, I think you understand and so did she.

After she was done, Anthony comes in to the room to check on me. I look up at him from my bed and tell him, "You know, I completely forgot to shave before I got here this morning."

Anthony then replies, "Man, we just gotta go get the nurse back in here and see if you can get you a razor to fix that. You need to get rid of that mess on your chin anyway. Your face is all fuzzed up."

You should have seen the look on his face when I told him "wrong spot".

The other has to do with in the O.R.. Now by this time, I'm ready for the doctors to do their thing. So they start giving me Perkodan to numb any feeling of pain and Versid to help put me in a semiconscious state, as so I don't remember what they did to me or how. I begin to drift off and I go in and out of it for a bit, but I'm okay and feeling nothing. While all of this is happening and these guys are cutting into me, they have a CD player going on playing hits from the Eighties, which is fine so everyone relaxes. Out of nowhere and not knowing what they have on the CD, I hear the opening notes of "Overkill" by Men At Work somehow in all my drugged stupor. I barely remember, but somehow I yelled out, "Dude, that is my favorite song! Crank it up, man!"

The surgeons  told me after it was done later that I sang the song all the way through before they gave me more Versid and passed right back out.

Other than the fact that I got cabin fever from sitting around the house waiting for the leg to be ready for use until yesterday, I feel great and could possibly return to doing roundhouse kicks once again. So there you go.

By the way, I would have posted yesterday about an incident I had last week before the surgery I call "Sam and The Dirty Book Lady", but it's way too X rated to tell here, and that is the truth. It's one I'll have to tell you personally as I can say that is was truly The Clip Of The Year.


HouseT said...

Clip of the Year? Wouldn't that title go to that shave you got at the hospital?

You know, if you tip them a ten spot, they'll leave a little heart there when they're done.

All right, I'm done now.

Sam said...

No, man. I can honestly say after after weighing in with the judges, "Sam and The Dirty Book Lady" truly beat The Shave story. Once I tell you about it, by which I will have to call you on Wednesday evening, you will laugh your head of your body and your body will then convulse with laughter before it realizes that your head is gone!

It is THAT damn funny..

SwanShadow said...

Glad you pulled through, Sam.

Have a healthy and happy Christmas!